Bipolar check-in #61

Oh I imagine that will happen in the future. Right now I scrape by with temporary disability here and there. But I don’t think I’ll be able to stay employed full time until official retirement age, whenever that turns out to be when I’m older. Right now it’s 67 and ten months. In fact with the way the US is going politically there may be no such thing for all I know.

I really do just get so bored. In the summer I had my program and books and spent a lot of time at the gym. That’s probably all I would do on permanent disability which I suppose isn’t terrible. I’m just not ready to make that decision yet

100%. I wish I could do this faster but the only way to do that is go IP or IOP, neither of which I want to do. I especially don’t want IP, it was just so bad the last time and it’s probably very isolated due to the high Covid numbers in NJ (and everywhere). I doubt they’re even running groups. How unbelievably boring would that be.

There used to be an evening IOP program near me but I think that’s gone. I don’t want to take temporary disability for three months just to get meds right. I don’t feel like I need more therapy just the meds.

I did call my dr but she does not have an earlier appointment. However I will be able to see my therapist a little earlier.

What a weird morning. I have therapy in an hour and I've went out of my routine today. I woke up late, for starters. I also couldn't see very good through my contact lenses and I hadn't changed them in quite some time so I decided to wear my glasses for a day (to let my eyes rest between contact changes). For breakfast I ended up with a piece of strawberry shortcake and I'm dealing with a sinus headache. I took my regular meds and some headache medicine and hopefully in a bit I'll be fine. I'm real tolerate, but very susceptible to headaches.If I can avoid them, I'd much rather go that route but enduring them is kinda where the train goes so to speak.

I'll update you all after therapy on how it went. I'm a little nervous about it. I'm not prepared in the sense of to know where to start or how to articulate everything this session but we will see where it goes I guess. Here's to hoping for the best!


Last time I wrote I mentioned wanting to acknowledge and appreciate the need for outside help in our lives. I wanted to lean on that kind of thing for a minute. This weekend, I will pose a question to all of you to reflect on. It's not homework or a requirement -- you don't have to answer it formally to yourself or anyone else or at all for that matter ! I just ask you give it some thought if you're so inclined. Quality of life is something we all strive for, right? I want to focus on that. I'll post it after my therapy.

Why do you have to get off haldol?
bizi

Despite sleeping a lot of the day yesterday, I slept from 9:30 last night until 7 this morning uninterrupted. I was able to take more tylenol at 9 and then I used a Vicks patch and a 3rd pillow and I took one 10 mil melatonin and slept fine.

Today I got in a shower and a Sonic run. I was able to stretch out on the recliner and watch the first 2 episodes of the new season of Drag Race. I got my ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday. My insides feel like they are being squeezed together and I took tylenol and its not helping much. I still feel just really worn out.

But my anxiety is not bad. I did stick with just the 2 valium and the visteril yesterday. So far its almost noon and I've only had one valium and zero visteril. So I'm not sure if my body is already used to the 2 valium a day.

Basically I'm still just worn out and achy physically. I'm still waiting to hear back from my doctor about my blood work.

Tomorrow I will be able to leave the house. that will be 10 days of quarantine time from covid.I did not sleep as well as I would have liked. got out of bed at 1030am instead of noon like I have been staying in bed.I slept in with my husband last night, think my back likes the spare bed room better. So today I made the bed back up to a nice look compared to what it looked like before, a mess.
I think my case was a mild case. no fever just that nasty cough until I got the delsunm cough syrup, that helped a lot. My throat was raw from coughing I never got any worse so did not use the inhaler nor take the antibiotics he prescribed. I don't believe in taking antibiotics for a virus. This never got into my chest it was all in my nose and throat.
bizi

That’s smart, taking unnecessary antibiotics is a hallmark of western medicine. Doctors hand them out cause patients get upset if they don’t get a scrip. But unnecessary antibiotics for viruses is a really bad thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour I feel for stray animals, too. If this is of any consolation (which it might not be), it's possible that that cat comes from a line of strays, so it may not know anything else. Also, of stray domestic animals, I think cats have the easiest time compared to stray dogs. Unless the cat looks ill, try not to think of it that much. Regardless, it is people's responsibility to either spay/neuter their cats or think long and hard before adopting one (possibly leading to "release" or abuse). When I lived in Taiwan, the sight of many stray dogs was heart-breaking. As said, they fare worse than cats for various reasons. Many were mangy and often victims of rather horrible demises. It's a rough world sometimes where we must build some figurative calluses else we be depressed constantly.

Thank you, Soupe. I really, really needed to read your post today. I'm a stupid mess from worrying over that poor cat. You make such good sense. Again - thank you.

GREAT news on the Lyrica! It's probably not placebo effect; I've found that the meds that turn out to be the best ones often start working after just 2 or 3 days.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CupofCoffee555 Hi, new member today, reaching out because I feel abit isolated here.

Hi CupofCoffee! Welcome to the forum, and to this board. Jump right in - it's nice to meet you.

Terrible sleep. Nothing worked. I feel like falling on the floor. But, I have some major chores that I must get done, so here goes. I'm hoping for a nap this afternoon. *sigh*

Today is very windy. Hopefully trees won't fall. That's always so scary, and sad to lose the trees.

I ordered a beaded nostril ring for my piercing. Gold wire, aubergine colored beads, and a champagne colored bead. It'll be pretty. So far the violet-colored necklace hasn't sold. I hope I don't talk myself out of buying it come February. I guess it can be a Valentine gift to myself. My husband has never made anything of Valentine's Day, and I love it.

Oh - sad about Meat Loaf dying. My high school years were at the height of the Rocky Horror Picture Show - I saw it 42 times Meat Loaf will always be "Eddie" to me

Love all around

Welcome Cup of Coffee

i'm having a really hard time with the side effects and I can't take any of the meds that help with the side effects like akathisia and dystonia.

I feel very sick and tired again. This afternoon I watched a TV show that was 83 minutes long and I was just spacing out and staring at the screen but still able to pay attention. I'm very cold now so I'm in bed under my 2 fleece blankets and my weighted blanket. I took my second valium but I'm still doing ok without the vistrieil. Since I have not had that my appetite has been managable today. I also took some more tylenol for my headache. My doctor still has not gotten back to me and I'm wondering if I should just call. My pain in my stomach is in the area where I had my surgery. I went to the bathroom twice today so I know its not constipation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I feel very sick and tired again. This afternoon I watched a TV show that was 83 minutes long and I was just spacing out and staring at the screen but still able to pay attention. I'm very cold now so I'm in bed under my 2 fleece blankets and my weighted blanket. I took my second valium but I'm still doing ok without the vistrieil. Since I have not had that my appetite has been managable today. I also took some more tylenol for my headache. My doctor still has not gotten back to me and I'm wondering if I should just call. My pain in my stomach is in the area where I had my surgery. I went to the bathroom twice today so I know its not constipation.

Yes, call your doctor.

My mom said she can't contact the Dr. Again since she already did and asked them to read the results.

I've had to cut way down on caffeine because of the valium situation. So I cant drink Mountain Dew and coffee and other caffeine like I used to. So I wonder if thats where this headache is coming from. Caffeine withdrawls. Although that would not explain the headaches the other days or the muscle stomach pains.

But I think I just have to wait things out until my doctor calls. My weight went up 5 pounds in 2 days because of the visteril. I'd rather give up caffeine then take that slop of a med. I am at least warm now from my blankets and if I can put my physical symptoms aside my anxiety is decent. I think the caffeine may have been a big part of why I sometimes needed 6 valium a day.

Everything seems so unpleasant. I went in my ZOOM support group today and quit because people were not making sense and there was no communication going on. Just each one spouting off about their random troubles. Plus a facilitator i despise was taking the lead in the group. I left feeling worse than when i went in.

It's cold but i got my dog outside today. She doesn't like to stay long tho. After a few minutes she starts racing between me and the gate. It's pretty funny how she doesn't talk but she sure gets her point across!

I tried Scrabble but it was too unpleasant. I don't dare try soaps in this mood, i won't be able to tolerate them at all. I got a few things at the convenience store here in the building and the cashier who i haven't seen in a while said, "What's new and exciting?" You know how i want to hear THAT. I just mumbled.

I guess i'll just sit quietly. Sometimes i feel better once night falls.

Welcome

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I hear you about getting up and moving in the morning. I hate it !!!

So glad Lyrica is not causing side effects! That’s great it’s helping your foot .

Hugs !

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Meatloaf died. I swear these celebs are dropping like flies and its only Jan 21st. And they arent even all ones you'd expect either to go.

Welcome! Jump on in

Slow day. I did get out and renewed my Y membership. I pointed out that I had put my membership on hold because of omicron. So then she said she would add my hold to the membership. Then stopped by the library and got mum three new books.

Just holding steady.

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 Everything seems so unpleasant. I went in my ZOOM support group today and quit because people were not making sense and there was no communication going on. Just each one spouting off about their random troubles. Plus a facilitator i despise was taking the lead in the group. I left feeling worse than when i went in. It's cold but i got my dog outside today. She doesn't like to stay long tho. After a few minutes she starts racing between me and the gate. It's pretty funny how she doesn't talk but she sure gets her point across! I tried Scrabble but it was too unpleasant. I don't dare try soaps in this mood, i won't be able to tolerate them at all. I got a few things at the convenience store here in the building and the cashier who i haven't seen in a while said, "What's new and exciting?" You know how i want to hear THAT. I just mumbled. I guess i'll just sit quietly. Sometimes i feel better once night falls.

I'm sorry your day has been frustrating. I often feel better when night falls, too. It's generally calming, and quieter.

I’m so worked up about school and stress I’m feeling sick to my stomach

@CupofCoffee555, welcome to this forum. We're glad you joined us. Please let us know how we can be of support to you. There are a variety of folks here with varied experiences.