Bipolar check-in #64

Guys, I'm scared. I dread the biopsy tomorrow and then I have to wait for pathology results. Again. And I just have a bad feeling. Something about needing 3 biopsies doesn't sound good to me. And while my chances of cancer thus far are low they are there and the likelihood varies widely depending who you listen to. I was fine with one biopsy; I was sure that would be fine. I've gotten more anxious about it over biopsy 2 and 3 and the need for surgical removal of the lesion(s).

I just am so afraid of this. To make it worse I know that I have to lie face down on a table with my breasts hanging through a hole and being compressed from below for over an hour during the biopsy. When I had this before it was in a chair. But this place does it differently, probably for good reason. It does not sound fun. My pdoc told me it's not fun (she's had breast cancer so has been through all of this).

I just need to focus on this will be done soon. By tomorrow night I'll probably be asleep as stress and numbing tends to wind me up and then knock me out.

Thanks for listening over the last months. Otroo and any other man reading all this I'm so sorry. My poor therapist is a man and we've spent hours discussing breasts and things about breasts for months now. That's been interesting sometimes.

OMG! I'm now a blond!

Hubby had wanted me to go lighter haired and the last 3 times it was gradually lightened, but today it is lighter than I expected ever going. I'm a little unsure about it, frankly. I can say that this is as light as it will go. Future times will just be coloring roots and hair cut. If I don't start to like it, it will be colored medium auburn next time or some hint of red...or light brown. I know that suits me well. It's not Hubby's favorite, but it won't matter. No one in my family is/was blond except in early youth. There were some slight red heads.

Update: This has been a scary hour. I totally had no clue what was going on. Apparently my hair was bleached before a new color was added. It's darker now. Relief! I confess I had been on the verge of tears before. See how ignorant I am about certain hair stuff?

I Ran out of oxy so I'm drinking. I have therapy soon. I hope she can help

I'm home from my biopsy. It went well enough although was not comfortable. I am extremely tired.

Beth, your massage table question is good and I'll answer when I've had sleep. Right now I'm just trying to stay awake until bedtime. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. There is a story.

Thank you all so much. I felt much less alone.

I hope I never have to do that again.

@BethRags hope you get your basket soon, and I'm glad you got some good sleep

I'm here, just haven't been posting much. I'm doing pretty well, haven't had any med changes since I'm doing good lately. Tomorrow I'm scheduling an appointment to get Miss Mustachio spayed. Tomorrow I also have people coming over to change the filter to my air conditioning and I'm really not looking forward to that. I hate having people come to my apartment. They could be here anywhere between 8:30am and 12pm so I have to stay here and wait because I don't want my cat getting out when they come. I'm trying to eat healthier and am having massive sugar cravings but am trying to ignore them lol I didn't sleep well last night, and was looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow but I can't because I need to be awake for the people coming to change the filter, so that ruins my plans. I sat outside in the morning for about 30 minutes, it was nice being outside for a change. It stays pretty cold here in upstate NY kinda far into spring, on Tuesday it was like 16 degrees here and in the low 20's throughout the day. It's starting to get warmer now though

Are you changing therapists too?