Bipolar check-in #64

@BethRags I’m so so sorry that your pdoc spoke to you and treated you like that. That is absolutely AWFUL!! You’re right, it is traumatising! But not only that it’s incredibly unprofessional rude and totally inappropriate.
How dare she!
I don’t blame you for having those thoughts about her.
I hope you manage to process how you’re feeling with your T as soon as possible!
Lots of hugs

Hello everyone!!
I haven’t had the chance to post much this week as I was at a wedding on Mon/Tues then I’ve been at work! It’s going really well! But it’s very busy and my leg is very sore because I’ve been on my feet a lot! It was all swollen up last night. I’m keeping an eye on it.
I’ve also been very tired and just coming home from work, having dinner then going to bed. I guess the hypersomnia is still there .
I’m back in 4 days next week eeek!
The wedding was good but quite tame, I felt that I had to force people to dance with me it was lovely though!
My anxiety levels are quite high still, especially at work. But hopefully with time I can bring them down.
Anyway, it’s lovely to catch up with you all, you’re very much in my thoughts and I hope you are having or are going to have as good a sleep as possible!
Lots of hugs!!!

I finished my 10th of 10 Czech classes last night, but won't register for the next series until we get back from France. And after that, I may choose to start studying French instead. If French, Hubby will join me as his French is around the same level as mine, or slightly better. We took our Honda to be super cleaned to prepare it for sale. I hope we fetch a good amount of money for it.

I'm feeling our upcoming trip to the US coming up soon.

currently I am feeling quite amused.

I have just figured out the lyrics to a song were not what I thought

I thought the lyrics were, " I will shower you"

turns out the lyrics are I wish I were you. lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinny Hello everyone!! I haven’t had the chance to post much this week as I was at a wedding on Mon/Tues then I’ve been at work! It’s going really well! But it’s very busy and my leg is very sore because I’ve been on my feet a lot! It was all swollen up last night. I’m keeping an eye on it. I’ve also been very tired and just coming home from work, having dinner then going to bed. I guess the hypersomnia is still there . I’m back in 4 days next week eeek! The wedding was good but quite tame, I felt that I had to force people to dance with me it was lovely though! My anxiety levels are quite high still, especially at work. But hopefully with time I can bring them down. Anyway, it’s lovely to catch up with you all, you’re very much in my thoughts and I hope you are having or are going to have as good a sleep as possible! Lots of hugs!!!

Hi Pinny! I'm glad you've checked in. The wedding does sound nice. I'm happy for you that you did get to dance!

Your leg, though ...swelling isn't good, you know...perhaps see a doctor, just to be safe?

I'm sending love

Here it is, 3:15 a.m. I was so overheated, I took a shower with some nice soap, then some nice lotion and went straight to bed (didn't take anything for sleep)...bed, where I didn't sleep. My mind was racing, jumping from one thought/conversation/image to another. Yesterday I rearranged my room and I was lying in bed trying to decide whether to move my dresser or not. It was hours, then I began thinking about my appt. on Monday with the new med provider, which got me to thinking about that miserable pdoc I've just fired. I realized that the main issue I had with her was that she absolutely invalidated the terrible anxiety I experience. It was as though she didn't believe me. It reminded me of trying to tell my mother about my stepfather's abuse, and my mother being dismissive - not believing me.

Then I got such a bad stomachache that my chest and shoulders were hurting, and my back. I hoped I wasn't having a heart attack, because there is no one in the world to take care of Sidney (or my other cats). So I got out of bed. It's so warm in here that I drank a quart of water. Then I shopped for and ordered a jar of hemp oil body butter (honeysuckle). My stomach is feeling much improved. I need a tremendous amount of water when it's warm like it is.

So here I am. I have to sleep at some point, because I'll be up at 6:15 to test Sid's glucose, feed everybody, and give Sid her insulin shot. I think then I'll take a little bit of Seroquel and hopefully sleep for some hours.

Anyway, I have the windows open, the night air feels cool and wonderful.

I hope each of you have a beautiful morning. I'll see ya later on.

I think yesterday I may legit have had a bug of some sort I know theres non covid stomach stuff going around. Or getting back on my shots was just kicking my *** that badly. I am postive it was not mental health though. But my nausea and stomach pain and hot and cold flashes were so bad I fell asleep at 5 after taking just one of my new melatonins. I only ate 750 calories all day because I just wasn't hungry. I woke up a couple times covered in sweat but I slept pretty much uninterrupted until 5:30. Now my stomach is ok and I have been under my normal amount of blankets for most of the night without an issue and I just feel much better. So yeah maybe yesterday I just legit felt crappy.

Edit: I got my fridge freezer and soda collection organized. It was kind of a mess. My mom woke up and I told her I was feeling a lot better. I guess she was concerned and thought I was pretty sick last night with how long I was sleeping and how I wasn't waking up at all. I still feel ok I am just a bit headachy but I ate a bagel and I had a Pepsi and I'm drinking an iced tea now. My mom and I ran to Target without an issue.

I hope you get some decent sleep Beth. That’s hard.

I only got 3 hours of sleep. Went to bed at 11 read for 30 minutes then was almost asleep but laid on my arm wrong, it was all tingly then I woke up at 3am! Couldn’t get back to sleep. The motion vibe apt is supposed to come on at 7am to sign up for aqua class but it hadn’t I went though the back door and got signed up that way. I’m going to be dragging at my 11:30 senior fitness class.

My dad actually noticed I was having a particularly hard time last night and made me a cream cheese & jam sandwich. That was really nice of him. Normally he'd be like "ugh, emotional woman alert, time to hide" lol. I'm feeling better now. I'm OK right now. Last night doesn't matter, tonight doesn't matter, hell, an hour from now doesn't matter.

Had therapy this morning, it went well. We even cut it a bit short cause things just seem to be going my way. I've done a lot of things in a positive direction this week and I'm proud of myself for doing it.

I've been feeling pretty sick again since about 10 or so. The only difference between this morning when I woke up feeling really good and 10AM, is I ate something and had an iced tea. I drank a mountain dew at noon because I was suddenly exhausted and it didnt help with my tiredness. I also had a migraine which tylenol didn't help. I've been in bed since noon and and I ate some chicken tenders which were ok at first but now my head hurts so badly and my hot flashes are starting to come back and I just feel on the verge of panic at the moment. I don't know who to talk to or where to go about this because I don't know whats happening.

Been all kinds of stressed out about my wife's life insurance. I got it finally and it will be in the bank soon and now I go off of social security until I get my second retirement in 15 or 20 years lol.

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I am keeping the place up- I took the garbage out this morning. I also went and picked up my scripts and watered plants at my mom's place. I talked with Caleb today too. The maintenance guy came by to change out the things above the stove that put out fires. It took him one minute and he was out. Now I'm back to watching Golden Girls.

Stuck in my head **sigh**

Amanda sent me a belated birthday present today. It’s nail wraps from a company called Lilly &Fox. They are amazing and so many to choose from. Only 2.99 a set and free shipping ! I just can’t polish my nails anymore I have a hand tremor. These wraps last me a couple weeks.

Anyway I have been struggling with wanting retail therapy so this was a lovely welcomed gift today and especially knowing she didn’t over spend on me.

Hugs and love to anyone in need

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Cream cheese and jam! Sounds good. I'll have to try it.

Sorry you're stuck in your head. Those wraps sound neat.

Hugs back!

I wish I had some legit pain meds right now. And if I am saying that then I am in a whole lot of pain. I have such a high pain tolereance I never even wanted that stuff after my surgries. But I still have this tylenol resistant migraine and it hurts so badly. I just took some more tylenol an hour ago. I finally caved in and messaged my doctor about my symptoms. Its a bit late but hopefully he responds. The hot and cold flashes started again too and I am just about to jump out of my skin with panic and anxiety from everything. I feel like I have tapeworms in my brain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour I finished my 10th of 10 Czech classes last night, but won't register for the next series until we get back from France. And after that, I may choose to start studying French instead. If French, Hubby will join me as his French is around the same level as mine, or slightly better. We took our Honda to be super cleaned to prepare it for sale. I hope we fetch a good amount of money for it. I'm feeling our upcoming trip to the US coming up soon.

Congratulations for completing the Czech class! That's quite an accomplishment. Oooh, yes, take the French class

I haven’t heard anything yet about the job. I’m impatient.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu I hope you get some decent sleep Beth. That’s hard. I only got 3 hours of sleep. Went to bed at 11 read for 30 minutes then was almost asleep but laid on my arm wrong, it was all tingly then I woke up at 3am! Couldn’t get back to sleep. The motion vibe apt is supposed to come on at 7am to sign up for aqua class but it hadn’t I went though the back door and got signed up that way. I’m going to be dragging at my 11:30 senior fitness class.

Ugh, I'm so sorry you had a rough night. I truly admire you for going to class anyway

Quote:

Originally Posted by raging vortex currently I am feeling quite amused. I have just figured out the lyrics to a song were not what I thought I thought the lyrics were, " I will shower you" turns out the lyrics are I wish I were you. lol

It is so funny when that happens!

Well, here I am, I survived that weird night. I did take Seroquel at 7 a.m. and slept for 6 hours. Now I'm going to wash my yucky hair, which will really feel good. I received the complaint form in the mail, so will fill it out today, get it mailed, and be done with that monster. First impression, best impression I guess. True with regard to her, anyway.

I know I say a lot of not very nice things about my mom but I love my mom but sometimes she just doesn't understand the severity of situations. I'm using a homemade ice pack on my forehead which seems to be helping with the migraine and the hot and cold flashes.

I'm honestly wondering now if it is possibly covid or something.

I hope your shower is refreshing! I'm sure you'll be glad to get that complaint mailed off.

I was able to email former pdoc's supervisor, which I did. I believe my email was clear and well-written. What a relief to send that off!

And WOW. It occurred to me to google former pdoc's name, which I did. Loads of other patients have complained about the same issues I had with her - that she is contentious, arrogant, enjoys power struggles - and a couple even wrote that she is mentally disturbed. Many said she should not be in practice. I wish it would have occurred to me to google her name a long time ago.

So. I'm truly done with her. Now I hope Monday's appointment with the new provider goes well. It will be a wearying hassle if I have to keep looking for a new med provider.

btw - I want to thank those of you who have supported me and helped me to label my thoughts so I could write an effective letter of complaint. I really, really appreciate it!