Bipolar check-in #64

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I finally manged to get up at 1:00 (yse that needs work) and didn't nap except for dosing on and off a bit for 45 minutes in the late afternoon. That's a huge improvement. I also look a little less exhausted.

But now it's 3:10 and I've been up for 30 minutes and so far I'm not getting sleepy. I'll have to take klonopin if I don't get sleepy soon. I want to be functional enough to drive to therapy on Monday. I won't see him in person for a few weeks then; one week I'm staying home to avoid germs and the next is my surgery.

I got a very nice note from my family doctor who had sen my stuff from breast center #1 and was offering support and sorrow for how things worked out there. He's a nice person. I need to write a note back but not now. No getting involved in anything. He's been my doctor for 17 years, when he had just finished residency. We've been through a lot together.

Time for some hot tea? I guess. I don't want it but maybe it will help.

You're not alone - I've been getting up at 1 p.m. for the past couple of days because I'm awake at weird hours. I don't even care. Anymore, I just want sleep whenever I can get it.

It's so fortunate that you've had your family doctor for 17 years. He must be a really good guy. How kind of him to send you the note.

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 09:31 AM

I awoke feeling upset about my daughter's divorce. Not that I ever thought her husband was amazing. The man is absolutely obsessed with his job and with his income. Sure, it's important, but for him money is his lifeline. He grew up in a terribly fractured family situation with little connection to his blood family. He has absolutely no clue as to what family is, means, or why family is so important. His situation is just plain sad. My daughter is tremendously bright with regard to academics, and she has a certain type of intuition that has astounded me at times. But when it comes to her emotions and feelings she has always had great difficulty connecting with them and accepting them. My son is completely the opposite. Go figure.

I dread having to tell my sister about N.'s divorce. My sister will be shaken up. For some reason she thought highly of N.'s husband, regardless of what I told her about him. I think my sister wanted to see him as she wanted him to be, not as he is. She loves my daughter very much and hangs on to the idea of her having the "perfect marriage." Strangely, my daughter and her husband never disagreed. Never. It was as though they were being formal with each other at all times, and I thought it odd. Couples who are comfortable with each other are okay with disagreeing. It's all about communication.

Okay, back to bed for me. The weather is chilly and wildly windy, which helps me sleep.

Sweet Sunday vibes sent**~**~**~***

Nammu · Apr 10, 2022, 09:41 AM

Soupe the wreath is absolutely gorgeous. I’ve been looking for a spring wreath, but haven’t seen anything I really like. The one store that had such things has been closed now for 3-4 years!

Because I get up at 7 on M-W-F I’ve been waking early on the other days. Today is my laundry day. Got the pot roast in the slow cooker. Should be ready at 5.

Indeed where is wildflower?

Nammu · Apr 10, 2022, 09:43 AM

Oh, Beth. What good timing on your part. I’m sure she appreciated your call even if she can’t bend enough to let you know. I hope the divorce goes easy on her.

HALLIEBETH87 · Apr 10, 2022, 10:21 AM

I treated myself to a sugar free iced coffee this am on my way to work. Yum! I’m so sleepy still I could fall alseep

Mountaindewed · 02:26 PM

I just found out my sister is pregnant. She is due in October. I honestly never thought she'd have another baby again. My first nephew is 8, he will be less then 10 days away from turning 9 when the baby is born. He was an emergency c section and my sister and him almost died. My second nephew will be 6 in May. He was a month early but weighed 8 pounds. Then my sister has had endometriosis and then had some gynecolical surgery about 1.5 years ago. And I just thought based on all that plus the ages of my nephews they werent planning on having anymore kids. I stopped wishing a couple years ago. She's only 33 though. Its exciting though especially living by them now. My mom said my face lit up when they told me and I know my mom will be bursting with happiness this entire summer. I've been so down in the dumps for so long maybe this is what I need. Maybe this is what my whole family needs.

Moose72 · Apr 10, 2022, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oh I’m so sorry. Back in the day I don’t recall what my medicine was called but it too was limited. I could only get like 15-16 for a month. They are terrible.

Thanks. I get 9 per month but luckily I don't always use that many. It's just when they last 3 days that I end up using a lot of the Sumatriptan.

Fuzzybear · Apr 10, 2022, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinny

@BethRags I’m so so sorry that your pdoc spoke to you and treated you like that. That is absolutely AWFUL!! You’re right, it is traumatising! But not only that it’s incredibly unprofessional rude and totally inappropriate.
How dare she!
I don’t blame you for having those thoughts about her.
I hope you manage to process how you’re feeling with your T as soon as possible!
Lots of hugs

Beth,

I agree about that pdoc. It's extremely unprofessional, rude and completely inappropriate. And traumatising.

(sorry I'm only now replying, I was reading earlier and didn't get around to replying)

Hugs

Mountaindewed · Apr 10, 2022, 12:18 PM

I may have figured out why I've been getting the worst headaches of my life. I quit drinking coffee and I also quit drinking zero sugar soda about a week ago. Both were stalling my weight loss. So once I stopped that my weight started moving. But then I switched to Coke and Pepsi just because I like soda. And since I don't drink zero sugar and I also watch my calories I can only drink one or 2 sodas a day. Which equals to less then 100mil of caffeine a day. Thursday when I had that terrible migraine the only caffeine I had was a can of Coke at 1AM which had 39 mil of caffeine. So cool I'm losing weight but getting massive migraines instead. My doctor got back to me last night. Weird, does he not have a social life. And he says its not my injections. But yeah looking at my food log I am seeing a serious lack of caffeine which could be affecting my sleep as well. But if I drink coffee or zero sugar soda I don't lose weight. So I'm kind of at a catch 22 right now. I have heard migraines from caffeine withdrawels do eventually go away.

Moose72 · Apr 10, 2022, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Migraine is back. 😬😣 And at this point if it gets worse I'll have to call an ambulance to take me to the ER as I've taken the max amount in the last 24 hours.

I never had to go anywhere. It didn't get worse. Besides:. I remembered that if I get taken by ambulance, I'd have no ride home. I'd have to take an Uber or something. Expensive.

Nammu · Apr 10, 2022, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I never had to go anywhere. It didn't get worse. Besides:. I remembered that if I get taken by ambulance, I'd have no ride home. I'd have to take an Uber or something. Expensive.

I’m glad it didn’t get worse. Yeah getting stranded is no fun. Here there’s no Uber and only I taxi that has 24 service. There are vans for medical rides but you have to plan in advance. And emergencies are by definition not planable. I worry to what would happen if I need ER and can’t drive. Mum doesn’t drive any more and everyone lives out of town.

Sunflower123 · Apr 10, 2022, 02:58 PM

The bad skin rash I got from that Lemon Verbena soap from Trader Joe’s has been painful and vicious. It’s taken several days to clear up and much ointment. I’m finally on the healing end of things.

I have too much to do to get ready for Easter and I’ve been down with that rash. It hurt to move even slightly. Holidays stress me out anyway. The whole month of April is busy really. I’m making an Easter basket for M. That will be fun. This will be the first time I’ve encountered my sister since her wretched attack. Not looking forward to that but I’ll be diplomatic.

I’ve been weary and low energy today. Just not feeling up to par. Going to bed at 5:00. Tomorrow will be better.

Hugs to all!

Soupe du jour · Apr 10, 2022, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I awoke feeling upset about my daughter's divorce. Not that I ever thought her husband was amazing. The man is absolutely obsessed with his job and with his income. Sure, it's important, but for him money is his lifeline. He grew up in a terribly fractured family situation with little connection to his blood family. He has absolutely no clue as to what family is, means, or why family is so important. His situation is just plain sad. My daughter is tremendously bright with regard to academics, and she has a certain type of intuition that has astounded me at times. But when it comes to her emotions and feelings she has always had great difficulty connecting with them and accepting them. My son is completely the opposite. Go figure.

I dread having to tell my sister about N.'s divorce. My sister will be shaken up. For some reason she thought highly of N.'s husband, regardless of what I told her about him. I think my sister wanted to see him as she wanted him to be, not as he is. She loves my daughter very much and hangs on to the idea of her having the "perfect marriage." Strangely, my daughter and her husband never disagreed. Never. It was as though they were being formal with each other at all times, and I thought it odd. Couples who are comfortable with each other are okay with disagreeing. It's all about communication.

Okay, back to bed for me. The weather is chilly and wildly windy, which helps me sleep.

Sweet Sunday vibes sent**~**~**~***

I'm sorry that your daughter was so hurt by her husband. From what you wrote, I'm wondering if maybe it will be for the best their split? In any case, I hope that as part of her healing process that her relationship with you will grow closer again. You clearly love her unconditionally, as most parents do. Seems like she would need/want the security of some unconditional love, as she moves on to a new phase of her life. Hugs

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oh, Beth. What good timing on your part. I’m sure she appreciated your call even if she can’t bend enough to let you know. I hope the divorce goes easy on her.

Thank you so much, Nammu. I'm worried about her, to say the least. She is such a sensitive person...she always leaned on me for strength - which is what I think she wants to break away from...she wants to "stand on her own two feet." Ugh, I'm blaming myself all over the place for this. David says to stop, that I was a terrific mom to N.. I'm obsessing.

Anyway. Laundry day for me, too! And I have a new bed skirt to put on my bed. Will have to lift the mattress. Ugh.

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I'm sorry that your daughter was so hurt by her husband. From what you wrote, I'm wondering if maybe it will be for the best their split? In any case, I hope that as part of her healing process that her relationship with you will grow closer again. You clearly love her unconditionally, as most parents do. Seems like she would need/want the security of some unconditional love, as she moves on to a new phase of her life. Hugs

Thank you so much, Soupe. Truth?....I am sooo glad they're divorcing. I remember the first day I met her husband. From moment #1 I picked up an uneasy feeling about him, and I have a decent intuition. I just hope she gets through this loss of security okay.

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

The bad skin rash I got from that Lemon Verbena soap from Trader Joe’s has been painful and vicious. It’s taken several days to clear up and much ointment. I’m finally on the healing end of things.

I have too much to do to get ready for Easter and I’ve been down with that rash. It hurt to move even slightly. Holidays stress me out anyway. The whole month of April is busy really. I’m making an Easter basket for M. That will be fun. This will be the first time I’ve encountered my sister since her wretched attack. Not looking forward to that but I’ll be diplomatic.

I’ve been weary and low energy today. Just not feeling up to par. Going to bed at 5:00. Tomorrow will be better.

Hugs to all!

Yikes to the rash!!! Will you report it to the company? That's horrible, Jennifer. Once I used a neem-based soap and thought my skin was going to burn off. Had a bad reaction to the stuff.

Making an Easter basket, how fun Seeing your sister...not fun...but I hope it goes peacefully.

Have a good sleep

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I just found out my sister is pregnant. She is due in October. I honestly never thought she'd have another baby again. My first nephew is 8, he will be less then 10 days away from turning 9 when the baby is born. He was an emergency c section and my sister and him almost died. My second nephew will be 6 in May. He was a month early but weighed 8 pounds. Then my sister has had endometriosis and then had some gynecolical surgery about 1.5 years ago. And I just thought based on all that plus the ages of my nephews they werent planning on having anymore kids. I stopped wishing a couple years ago. She's only 33 though. Its exciting though especially living by them now. My mom said my face lit up when they told me and I know my mom will be bursting with happiness this entire summer. I've been so down in the dumps for so long maybe this is what I need. Maybe this is what my whole family needs.

Congratulations, Uncle Md!

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Beth,

I agree about that pdoc. It's extremely unprofessional, rude and completely inappropriate. And traumatising.

(sorry I'm only now replying, I was reading earlier and didn't get around to replying)

Hugs

Thank you so much, dear Fuzzy. I know you understand how it feels when a provider is horrible

Moose72 · Apr 10, 2022, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I just found out my sister is pregnant. She is due in October. I honestly never thought she'd have another baby again. My first nephew is 8, he will be less then 10 days away from turning 9 when the baby is born. He was an emergency c section and my sister and him almost died. My second nephew will be 6 in May. He was a month early but weighed 8 pounds. Then my sister has had endometriosis and then had some gynecolical surgery about 1.5 years ago. And I just thought based on all that plus the ages of my nephews they werent planning on having anymore kids. I stopped wishing a couple years ago. She's only 33 though. Its exciting though especially living by them now. My mom said my face lit up when they told me and I know my mom will be bursting with happiness this entire summer. I've been so down in the dumps for so long maybe this is what I need. Maybe this is what my whole family needs.

That sounds exciting! I was always due in October with my 3 kids but N 3 came the week before so he has a September birthday. (Actually all 3 came the week before their due dates.)

Fuzzybear · Apr 10, 2022, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Thank you so much, dear Fuzzy. I know you understand how it feels when a provider is horrible

Thanks dear Beth, I sure do..

Mountaindewed · Apr 10, 2022, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Congratulations, Uncle Md!

Thanks I am very excited. I do wonder about the age differences. I just hope she doesn't favor the baby. She seemed to favor the 6 year old for a long time and was impatienct a lot with the 8 year old. My mom says it will be fine though. My mom was one of 8 kids though. I am the youngest of 3 and was favored very very noticeably. My dad even told me, not in front of my sister though, that I was his favorite. So I think thats where my sister gets it from.

Mountaindewed · Apr 10, 2022, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

That sounds exciting! I was always due in October with my 3 kids but N 3 came the week before so he has a September birthday. (Actually all 3 came the week before their due dates.)

My 6 year old nephews birthday is a few days before my brother in laws. I think I was supposed to be a few days later then I was actually born but I was already a planned c section and I wasn't moving or something and my mom was starting to panic so she just had me a few days early which just happened to be the day before her birthday.

*Beth* · Apr 10, 2022, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thanks dear Beth, I sure do..

And I'm sorry that you do It's a horrible feeling, not being able to be comfortable with and trust the very people who are supposed to help you care for your mental health.

Apr 10, 2022, 07:56 PM

I got a few hours of pleasure out of the day watching TV. But then i had an incident with a neighbor, just in casual conversation, but it was very unpleasant. So i was angry for several hours but it's passed now and i've decided to limit contact with my neighbors from now on. If i need a break i'll go out to the mall where no one will talk to me, rather than outside here where i am a sitting duck for every misguided backwards obsolete busy-body. It's sad that i can't enjoy the building and the grounds but so many people are not 'woke' to the newest wisdom that giving unsolicited "help" is insulting because it implies incompetence and to speak only of your own lived experience. I have to live in the world and cope with it. It is what it is.

Moose72 · Apr 10, 2022, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

My 6 year old nephews birthday is a few days before my brother in laws. I think I was supposed to be a few days later then I was actually born but I was already a planned c section and I wasn't moving or something and my mom was starting to panic so she just had me a few days early which just happened to be the day before her birthday.

My niece, my mom and I have birthdays three days in a row. My mom thought I might be born on her birthday but I was born the day after.

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Bipolar check-in #64

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