Bipolar check-in #65

I wonder if my blood level is still high. I've been pretty short of breath these last couple days. Yesterday I was unbuttoning my pants and I was struggling really hard with the button. I was so short of breath unbuttoning my ****ing pants. Finally I was so frustrated I had to lie on my bed on my back to get them undone. Today I've been short of breath and the left side of my face felt numb so my mom did the FaSt stroke test and it was ok. I took my last half valium and she'll go over to the pharamacy in a bit. I have one on file but they werent answering the phone yesterday and my mom had to go somewhere yesterday afternoon. So I had 2.5 pills left to get me through yesterday and this morning and I just now took the last .5. I also get my T shot today so I'm hoping to feel some mental health relief even if the physical stuff is still off.

My bamboo blanket and pillow cases are almost here. I can't believe how fast they came.

Edit:My blanket and pillow cases came. I know people normally wash that stuff before using it but I read bamboo blankets are a huge hassle to wash and they shrink. So I'll just keep it clean by not making a mess on it. My mom picked up my valium and had no issue. I wasn't really panicking since I knew I had one on file so all she had to do was go in there. This is a 30 day supply with 2 refills.

I also got my T shot so I feel much better mental health wise but I am still very tired and worn out physically. I'm not sure if its from the blood level still possibly being high or just not sleeping well. But my anxiety is fine so I don't think its that. I go in on Wednesday for my one week blood test to see where my level is at and if the procedure was enough.

I just feel funny. I dont know how to explain it. I feel off.

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Originally Posted by unlived I think Fahrenheit is different so -4 would be heaps colder than my -1….. 40 degrees Celsius is actually really hot (104 Fahrenheit) … We got up to 51 I think in a suburb in western Sydney last year which is 123 Fahrenheit…. So yeah more used to the heat!

Ohh, got ya. Yes, I'm used to high heat, too. Blah. Most days we do get a breeze off the ocean, but it's 90 miles (144 km.) west. The days we don't have the breeze, UGH. So hot. This week is lovely, though.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour With milder weather, I've been sweating a lot, and surely perimenopause contributing. I've also been quite physically active. We're slowly planning our France trip. There's no way we could leave tomorrow, like originally thought. Now the beginning of June seems better. There are several things on our calendar in May we planned to skip. It's best we not, plus we need more time to plan the trip. I just received an email from an estranged friend. It was friendly with several questions about my current life. Plus she asked that we have a "virtual lunch" to catch up. I'm reluctant to answer and would dread the latter. I asked Hubby his thoughts and he said to respond, but ignore the "virtual lunch". He always disliked her. She and I were close work friends for years, and continued after she was fired. She often talks behind people's backs and acts superior, which I dislike. I can't say we just visited the US. She lives nearby where we stayed. In her email she wrote that she misses me. Truthfully, I don't miss HER, but do the kind of friendship I perceived having, at one time. I'm generally not a grudge holder, but it ended painfully, during a terrible period of my life. Holding on just to have another friendship, is not healthy. Not having me in her life surely doesn't hurt her enough to warrant rekindling. I just want to start a new life.

Yes, the rose garden was paradise. The entire yard was like a park. Definitely the best part of my childhood, being in that yard. I love flowers, too! I have flowers tattooed on my hand, arms, and leg.

What you've described does sound like perimenopause. The sweats and hot flashes. Not pleasant at all.

Boy, we're in a similar situation with "a friend." I have a friend, I do care about her, but...there are just too many things. We've known each other for almost 40 years though, and she pushes to get together. I'm just not really into it and it's very awkward because she says that it seems like I'm kind-of resistant to the idea of meeting up. Then she calls me "reclusive" which annoys me.

I'm with your husband, Soupe. Maybe take a while to answer instead of replying right away and don't mention the "lunch" thing - which sounds so unpleasant.

It’s Oaks day here in Kentucky! Tomorrow is the Ky Derby!

I hate when that happens!

I went on a little hike this morning and I got approved for medicaid so I can start ACT soon. My T said she would try and get the lady who runs the program to pop in next week.

Yesterday, I went and got a pedicure. It had been years since the last time. It was nice. They used the hot stones and warm towels and massaged my feet and calves. I also used the massage feature in the chair. Then I woke up this morning feeling like my back was bruised and it wasn't until I leaned against the back of a booth here at Starbucks and it hurt too that I realized it was from that massage chair!

My mom and I are trying to decide if I should go to the ER. I am super short of breath and I have chest pains. I literally just got winded eating an ice cream sundae. I've had 2 of my 3 valiums and my topamax and 20mil geodon. I can take the rest of my meds in a bit to determine if its just anxiety. I really hate the emergency room. Plus since even though its not covid some of my symptoms sound like they may be covid so my mom will probably not be allowed in with me. My goal is to take the rest of my meds and see how I feel and then try to sleep it off. My mom suggested immediate care but theres no way immediate care will take someone if they are having chest pains. They will send them to the ER.

When I was younger I worked on a crab processor ship. I worked in the blast freezer it was -90f we were only allowed to be in there for like 5 minutes then we had to come out and warm up. That's like -67c. It was cold

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ... My bamboo blanket and pillow cases are almost here. I can't believe how fast they came. Edit:My blanket and pillow cases came. I know people normally wash that stuff before using it but I read bamboo blankets are a huge hassle to wash and they shrink. ...

It's better if you wash your stuff before you use it, I think. Bamboo items aren't a hassle to wash and none of mine have shrunk. The sheets do get wrinkly, but they flatten out once they're on the bed.

What colors did you get?

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Originally Posted by Moose72 Yesterday, I went and got a pedicure. It had been years since the last time. It was nice. They used the hot stones and warm towels and massaged my feet and calves. I also used the massage feature in the chair. Then I woke up this morning feeling like my back was bruised and it wasn't until I leaned against the back of a booth here at Starbucks and it hurt too that I realized it was from that massage chair!

Yay! What color polish did you get? Yeah, the massage chairs are wonderful, except sometimes they get a bit rough.

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Originally Posted by Sapien I went on a little hike this morning and I got approved for medicaid so I can start ACT soon. My T said she would try and get the lady who runs the program to pop in next week.

I'm so glad you've been approved! What's ACT?

Assertive Community Treatment. It's for people who have been repeatedly arrested and/or hospitalized to keep us folks out of jail/hospital. I don't know how it's different from standard treatment other than it's more intensive but I hear a lot of good things about it.

btw I like your new avatar!

Candy-apple red!

It’s almost time for the Fillies to run for the lilies at the ky oaks! Who’s your pick?

I’m picking either Nest or secret oath!

Really depressed today. I was going to go to my church program but have now decided to stay home. I'm real tired today. I have actually been tired for the last week or two. I kept waking up at around 4 in the morning and I was usually hitting by 0530. I slept till like 0600 today lol.

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Secret oath wins the oaks!

I don't wash new stuff and it is are always ok. Except when covid wad bad in summer 2020 and I put my new clothes I ordered online in the freezer overnight.

I got gray to match my walls.

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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 It’s Oaks day here in Kentucky! Tomorrow is the Ky Derby!

So what do you do for Oaks Day? And tomorrow...are there parties? That's a good name, Secret Oath.

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Originally Posted by otroo Really depressed today. I was going to go to my church program but have now decided to stay home. I'm real tired today. I have actually been tired for the last week or two. I kept waking up at around 4 in the morning and I was usually hitting by 0530. I slept till like 0600 today lol. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

Something to remember is that returning home from a vacation or time away takes adjusting. To me, it can feel depressing. If you're in grief, it may take even more adjusting. When are you meeting up with your daughter?

Ugh what a mess of a night. I went to the ER after a day of shortness of breath and then I got some bad chest pains I figured I should get looked at. It was 3PM so I expected the ER to be empty but it was crowded. I waited for an hour while multiple people got called back who came in after me. Finally I got called back to a little doctors exam room with an exam table instead of a bed. The doctor asked what was up. I told him. They had done an EKG at check in. It was ok my pulse was 108 though. They gave me fluids for the pain and dizziness. They did a chest xray and bloodwork. Said according to the bloodwork I am at an increased risk for a blood clot but the xray was normal. I left with a script for a pain med. I later realized I probably just overused my new weighted vest and 22 pounds of weighted blankets is too much. I wish I had thought of that before I went. My blood doctor and endocronolgist just have me so freaked out about blood clots. But anyways at least they were nice besides the nurse who was explaining triage to my mom and said "if this was the miltiary we wouldnt even waste time on him" jeeze thanks. Anyways I'm at home and I've taken the meds I didn't take before I left and I am under my new blanket and it is so nice and I am exhausted from the ER and I didn't sleep very well either last night.

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Originally Posted by Moose72 Candy-apple red!

Ooooh, pretty! I used to paint my nails red in high school, but I haven't had them red since then. Wish I could, but it's an odd color against my skin.

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Originally Posted by Sapien Assertive Community Treatment. It's for people who have been repeatedly arrested and/or hospitalized to keep us folks out of jail/hospital. I don't know how it's different from standard treatment other than it's more intensive but I hear a lot of good things about it. btw I like your new avatar!

It does sound good. I sure wish I had an IOP program where I live. Just connecting with other people with a mental illness would be great. Before stupid covid I facilitated a NAMI support group and that was terrific. Good people. But now the group is online only and I'm not into that. I mean...I have here online, I don't need another online.

My therapist gave me a bouquet of flowers and celery from her garden. I put the flowers in a graceful Lennox vase from my wedding shower. It's on my dresser and looks so lovely. I just sprinkled lilac oil on my protection bells (one set hangs in my living room window, one set over my bed). Now it smells nice in here.

I decided I'm going to buy another bamboo blanket, spring green this time. A bigger one, since the one I have is more throw sized.

Mountaindewed - I forgot! The bamboo blankets do shrink a couple of inches if you put them in a hot dryer. Either hang it up to dry (if you wash it), or dry on a low setting.

Well, time to sweep and do the Sidney, Solomon, Jack, Sadie, and London dinners.

Fantastic !!!!!

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