Bipolar check-in # 66

*Beth* · Jun 22, 2022, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

**** does my stomach hurt. I've taken 4 extra strenghth tylenol since midnight. I think they say don't go over 3 thousand mil in 24 hours. At least thats what I was told during one of my surgeries. Anyways I was starving and light headed and anxious from not eating much yesterday. So I ate a pouch of tuna and a 100 calorie pack of nuts at 7 and my stomach pain erupted. Its like I can either be super anxious from lack of food or in intense pain. There has been no in between lately. My mom and I went out to breakfast at 8 because I thought I just needed to get out, and I couldnt eat. I tried getting some shopping done but I was in too much pain. I have therapy in a few hours and I want to cancel so badly but I'll be charged more then I pay her for the session. Why do they get to cancel on us all the time but when we cancel we get charged even when we're in ER type pain? I don't know. Maybe its worth a shot trying to expain it to her at least and hope she understands. I don't know. My scan thing is at 8 tommrow.

(((( )))) I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I'll be waiting to hear about your scan tomorrow.

*Beth* · Jun 22, 2022, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

My sister called from the hospital. She saw our dad. He has a cracked vertebrae and some other malady. He needs rehab. He's got long white hair and a long white beard. My sister says he looks like Santa Clause mixed with Einstein. He's been lying to everybody! She said his condo is a terrible disaster area. There are roaches and poop all over the bathroom. The deep cleaners are coming tomorrow. I hope they can fix it all. It's costing over $7,000 for them to come. I just worry that if he's allowed to move back in that he'll just destroy the place- and himself- again. My sister went to get him some "real food" instead of hospital food for dinner- he asked.

Whew, that's bad. I'm guessing that the cracked vertebrae is what's causing him so much pain? For over $7,000 I would expect the cleaning crew to make everything sparkle and shine.

*Beth* · Jun 22, 2022, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

...

Paying attention to your body and taking good care of yourself is a huge accomplishment!

I would do what you're doing with regard to the extraction. And taking a Xanax is a smart idea.

*Beth* · Jun 22, 2022, 09:30 PM

I am really stuck with the Caplyta. I allowed a half hour between the time I took it and the time I went to bed. I did fall asleep in a good amount of time. The problem is, I haven't really awakened all day. I haven't been in bed, I just...I'm running in extremely slow motion. I needed to sweep the floor and it took me 4 hours to remember that it needed to be done, to hold the idea of getting the broom and shovel, to again remember what I intended to do. I kept forgetting and losing my focus. Then I took a shower and either I was falling asleep or I lost my balance because I almost fell over. Did the whole shower thing and- oh, right...sweep floor.

When I finally, at long last, swept the floor it went pretty quickly, but by then it was 6 o'clock and time to do Sidney's glucose test/insulin and feed everybody dinner. And now here I am, 7 p.m., taking forever to type this and wondering how I'm going to get it together enough to change my sheets. And, oh God, I have to take the recycling out. That's huge.

My mind is mostly quieter, although I hear buzzing, as if I'm falling asleep.

So I'll try and hang with this for 2 more nights, then assess. It's honestly not safe to be this sedated. No way could I safely skate today, which is probably more therapeutic than many meds are.

I saw a t-shirt that says I don't need therapy, I just need to roller skate. Sorry, I might've already mentioned the shirt. But I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my life than when I read that.

Speaking of therapy, Mary left a message for me with her dear receptionist. Mary told me what's going on with her lung issues and said she still plans on being back on 7/11. She said she misses me and is looking forward to resuming therapy. And something else, I can't remember.

I was delighted by her message, but still feeling the hurt, trauma, confusion about her mean phone message 3 weeks or so ago.

Tomorrow is my daughter's 37th birthday. I will call and leave her a message. Even though she's thrown me away I love her to the ends of the earth, and always will. But it will be a lonely and sad day for me. I wish I could skip it.

Stay golden, beautiful ones~*~**~***~*

Scooter9 · Jun 22, 2022, 09:32 PM

I see my pdoc tomorrow. This Trintellix experiment is a bust... I'm still anxious but I need Klonopin about every 2-3 days.

Next med: Prozac. I was on it years ago and have no idea why I stopped. My pdoc says she has good results with bipolar patients that have anxiety.

Sunflower123 · Jun 22, 2022, 10:17 PM

We had a good day today. The neurologist said mom was above average among the 87 year olds he has seen. Good news. We enjoyed some great doughnuts with milk, had dinner at O’Charleys and watched a good movie with sister. We just got home and I’m in shorts and a tank top. Geez still warm and muggy this late. I’m about to head to bed so I can get up early and go float.

The Zoloft has been good for me. It has helped tremendously. I didn’t hurt at all today and had a pleasant, fruitful day. Here’s to many more. Things might be alright after all.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening.

*Beth* · Jun 22, 2022, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Tbh the main character in that episode did fool around with some sort of stuff and then ended up in an institution.

OMG, that is...

*Beth* · Jun 22, 2022, 11:05 PM

Jennifer - all good news - Hurray!

Scooter, having a pdoc who knows how to treat BD with anxiety is so good. I hope the Prozac works well for you.

*Beth* · Jun 23, 2022, 12:09 AM

That's it, I'm done with Caplyta. I never woke up today, felt rubbish all day. Then I went to take the recycling out. A fairly long walk along an outside corridor, down the stairs, a short walk to the recycling bin. A walk across the parking lot, walk along the downstairs outside corridor, up different stairs, around the corner to my apartment. And I barely made it. I was so off-balance that I could not walk in a straight line. Every step going down, then back up, the stairs felt dangerous. My breathing was being weird, too.

I'll go with the med dude's first choice, 25mg of Seroquel before bed. But tonight I'll take Tylenol PM, which usually makes me fall asleep after a little while - and I wake up without a backache.

And tomorrow instead of staring at the wall half-asleep, grieving my daughter's birthday - I'll skate!

Soupe du jour · 01:56 AM

My husband and I have changed our plans to return home tomorrow instead of six days from now. I'm becoming ill, plus we're done here in France. I had been taking prn Ativan, but instead will now take more Seroquel XR. I'll call my psychiatrist tomorrow.

otroo · Jun 23, 2022, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m just going to stick my nose in here for a minute lol maybe I don’t know what has already been said. But here goes.

There are 2 types of Seroquel there is XR extended release and IR instant release.

I have been on a ton of the XR over the years and not much help sleeping.

Last IP stay. He said ok Seroquel IR 50mg and it worked really well. I’m able to get mostly consistent sleep.

It unbelievable to me sometimes how small changes can really be a great result.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I was on 200mg a night and it did not phase me lol.

Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

MuddyBoots · Jun 23, 2022, 03:18 AM

I'm going to try going off Zyprexa. I'm so fragile right now I flipped out because I dropped the pill so said fk it God doesn't want me to take it. I didn't sleep much today (it's been up since 2am) but then again yesterday I slept a lot. I need to learn to deal with being awake.

Jun 23, 2022, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Yes, Czech Republic feels like home.

Jun 23, 2022, 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I turned in the job application for the library on Monday. Hopefully I can get an interview

I hope you get the interview and the job!

Jun 23, 2022, 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Now off to the pool.

Enjoy!

Jun 23, 2022, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I went for an emergency dentist appt today because my tooth has been hurting and now my face hurts. So I suspected bad infection. And I was right. I’m very glad I forced myself to go. It’s really bad, I almost had to go get IV antibiotics. It’s likely part of the reason I’ve been feeling so unwell. Not the whole reason as the GI pain has been going on for years but definitely why I’ve been feeling flushed, tired, and just all around sick.

Now of course the tooth is not able to be saved, I must have an extraction. I don’t care. It’s the very back molar. The dentist said I could have a consultation with an endodontist to see if they could do a root canal but she said they likely can’t because the tooth is also cracked below the jawline. So I could pay for a consult that’s a waste of time or I can just jump to the extraction. So yes, option B it is! Then I don’t have to worry about it ever again.

This really could have been avoided if I didn’t refuse to go to the dentist for so many years. Of all doctors I hate the dentist the most. I always feel like I’m suffocating and I panic, and I just HATE needles in my mouth. So for the extraction I’m going to take Xanax beforehand so I don’t panic in the chair and bring my squeezy toy.

I told RS he needs to hold me accountable and not let me cancel dentist appointments anymore. I’m always prepared to go and then day of I back out. If I know he will scold me I won’t back out. Even if I also know he won’t really scold me or get mad, the possibility is enough to get me to go. I have to get a bridge and probably a filling at least, if it hasn’t turned into another root canal by now. I have to keep regular appointments, otherwise I’m going to lose ALL my teeth and I don’t want that.

Ugh. At least I’m taking my physical health seriously now. I never did, partly because of my core belief that I’m not really deserving of anything at all. Now I try to convince myself I am every day, so I must prove it to myself.

Hopefully by next week I’ll be feeling better in general. I can get back into the gym. That will be nice.

Wish you good luck at the dentist's!

Jun 23, 2022, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I am really stuck with the Caplyta. I allowed a half hour between the time I took it and the time I went to bed. I did fall asleep in a good amount of time. The problem is, I haven't really awakened all day. I haven't been in bed, I just...I'm running in extremely slow motion. I needed to sweep the floor and it took me 4 hours to remember that it needed to be done, to hold the idea of getting the broom and shovel, to again remember what I intended to do. I kept forgetting and losing my focus. Then I took a shower and either I was falling asleep or I lost my balance because I almost fell over. Did the whole shower thing and- oh, right...sweep floor.

When I finally, at long last, swept the floor it went pretty quickly, but by then it was 6 o'clock and time to do Sidney's glucose test/insulin and feed everybody dinner. And now here I am, 7 p.m., taking forever to type this and wondering how I'm going to get it together enough to change my sheets. And, oh God, I have to take the recycling out. That's huge.

My mind is mostly quieter, although I hear buzzing, as if I'm falling asleep.

So I'll try and hang with this for 2 more nights, then assess. It's honestly not safe to be this sedated. No way could I safely skate today, which is probably more therapeutic than many meds are.

I saw a t-shirt that says I don't need therapy, I just need to roller skate. Sorry, I might've already mentioned the shirt. But I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my life than when I read that.

Speaking of therapy, Mary left a message for me with her dear receptionist. Mary told me what's going on with her lung issues and said she still plans on being back on 7/11. She said she misses me and is looking forward to resuming therapy. And something else, I can't remember.

I was delighted by her message, but still feeling the hurt, trauma, confusion about her mean phone message 3 weeks or so ago.

Tomorrow is my daughter's 37th birthday. I will call and leave her a message. Even though she's thrown me away I love her to the ends of the earth, and always will. But it will be a lonely and sad day for me. I wish I could skip it.

Stay golden, beautiful ones~*~**~***~*

There is a lot going on for you now. The only thing I feel I can say is: "I wish you peace and more sleep without hangovers!.

Jun 23, 2022, 04:24 AM

I'm back home. The vacation did me good. There is a lot to do at home. Think I'll start slowly.

Best wishes to all!

Mountaindewed · 10:24 AM

I really need a Coke but I can't have anything. My sister is dropping the kids off AGAIN this afternoon. After the weekend water fiasco. My mom says my sister is fine she just has an appointment. I haven't been able to get to the grocery store partially because of them and partially because of me too and then my mom on Tuesday. I swear I'm going to go crazy without my fennel and rice noodles. Ha I sound like such a hipster millennial snob. Maybe I'll be too jacked up on morphine to care. I'm wondering how my nephews are feeling being sent here all the time now. If they are already starting to feel ignored by their parents because of the new baby or if they don't care because here they get unlimited cookies and goldfish crackers and can just sit in front of the TV all day.

Update: I did my test. I didn't get any morphine. I did get something in my IV after the first hour that made me incredibly nauasated and crampy. The lab lady said it would do that. I don't know if it was supposed to do it as bad as it did though. I was about ready puke over the side of the table but the throwing up feeling passed. When the 2 hours were up the tech was just like ok you can go. She didnt have me sit up for a bit despite the fact I was lying down for 2 hours. She just rushed me out. I found it kinda odd. They were nice though during the test.

Currently I'm pretty nauseated and feeling unwell but I got half of my grocery shopping done before the test and my mom got the other stuff while I was doing the test. So I have fennel and other stuff.

Aurelius710 · Jun 23, 2022, 11:36 AM

Starting with the good news: In addition to the insurance company, I was able to send in an application for an airline. I'd be working for them at my regional airport. It looks like they're hiring for every role under the sun (ticket agent, baggage handler, those guys with the big Lite-Brites who direct planes). Here's hoping they call! Here's hoping it's a worthwhile gig!

My father has swung back to his "generous" phase. He wants to pay for my car insurance and house insurance. I won't argue. I offered some information so he could do it. He replied with, what was essentially, "Don't need it." His name is not on the account in any way. He's got someone wrapped around his finger who's willing to violate ethics (possibly the law) to cater to him. I'm not in a position to address this fully now, but once I get some stability, I'm going to transfer agents and cut that relationship off at the knees.

A fun example of "Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story." My dad decided to tell me about an area community college doing programs to train substitute teachers that I NEED to look into. Anyone who is even remotely connected with or knows anything about school staffing know subs are paid to just sit there. No training required. I gently (and repeatedly) tell him this and... he starts over. He's annoyed his sage advice is being questioned. So. I smiled and nodded.

I did look into it on my own. It's a two-year associates degree designed to get would-be teachers ready for the hands on part of their major track at a 4-year university. Nice, but not exactly the apprentice course my dad was thinking of.

Found out where my tax refund went. My university. I'm fairly certain I don't have a bill through them, but the university seems to disagree. More phone calls about money. Great. 😠

Nammu · Jun 23, 2022, 01:49 PM

Made the new thread, #67 but can’t link it. If someone could that would be great

Mountaindewed · Jun 23, 2022, 01:55 PM

The hida scan was normal. So the doctor is prescribing some med I take 4 times a day and told me to avoid fattening foods and to call back if things don't get better. My mom is super pissed he doesn't seem to be taking this seriously. But GI doctors are notorious for not taking people seriously. But I'd rather have a pill to take to get rid of whatever this is then to go under anethesia again or get surgery. My mom is just annoyed at him. I'm suprised he took me seriously in the first place and did the hida scan. The last GI doctor I went to once and never went back. I guess I'm so currently calm about this situation because I took an Advil a couple hours ago and I've only eaten vegetables in almost 24 hours so I haven't been feeling much pain wise today.

Soupe du jour · Jun 23, 2022, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

Made the new thread, #67 but can’t link it. If someone could that would be great

Sure, the newer thread is here.

Thanks, Nammu!

Moose72 · Jun 23, 2022, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Whew, that's bad. I'm guessing that the cracked vertebrae is what's causing him so much pain? For over $7,000 I would expect the cleaning crew to make everything sparkle and shine.

He also has a groin infection so maybe a combo? Yes I hope it sparkles and shines. But I'm worried that he will just destroy it again.

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Bipolar check-in # 66

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