Bipolar check-in # 66

Lay still for two
Hours? I sat in thr waiting room
In Between scans

I had to lay there for the 2 hours. I didn't have to be still the whole time. It was just boring, not uncomfortable. I didn't have sedation.

It may have changed somewhat since I had the test a long time ago. And as I found out with my biopsies, different places do the same thing differently.

It's really nothing to worry about. Take your phone and earbuds and maybe you can listen to music/take a nap while you lay there.

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed It was an episode from 1976 that was only aired once where Margaret Hamilton reprvised her role as The Wicked Witch and terroized sesame street. It seemed more like an episode of 227 or some other sitcom (besides the fact that big bird was there) then a ses episode. But it was cool seeing it. I had been following the story for over 6 years.

Ha, well, that's the 70's for ya. Hilarious! The cast had probably just done coke.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I’ve turned a corner with my respiratory illness. I feel better this morning and believe I’m on the mend. I purchased a COVID test yesterday but decided not to take it as I’m getting better now. If I had to lay bets though, I believe it was COVID by the length and intensity of the illness. I’ll keep a close eye on my recovery to address anything funky that may turn up. I have therapy at 9:45 and then I’ll go to the pool to float. Today will mainly be a catch up day after the past 9 days of illness and rest. I have much to do but will pace myself. Today for a meal I’m thinking meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy and fresh asparagus with chilled watermelon and berries for dessert. I have blueberries, blackberries, strawberries and raspberries. I’ve tried to be sure that mom is eating healthy and getting plenty of rest as we go through this. I’ll make us a healthy smoothie this morning after I enjoy energizing tangerine tea on the screened in porch. I hope everyone has a peaceful day and stays cool.

I am so glad you're feeling better! Floating and that meal both sound divine.

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Originally Posted by unlived Yeah I know low doses are used for sleep. I just started on 200 because I was in hospital at the time and after that I was never able to go below 100 after getting up to 1200. It was hell getting down that low and anything lower than 100 and I could not sleep at all. I had to switch to another med to be able to sleep again. Sorry I wasn’t trying to minimise or compete or anything. Just saying I hadn’t been on that dose. I’m glad you are able to sleep on a low dose. In my book the lower the better with that drug!

Oh, no...I appreciate your input. I know that Seroquel is very helpful for many people. For me...ugh, I wish I never would have heard of it.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour It's evening where I am in Bretagne, France. So weird here as there's still some light at 10:30 pm. I guess it's the latitude. Last night I had quite the meltdown after a triggering day. Poor Hubby was a bit scared from it. Long story short, this part of France isn't for us, nor was Bordeaux and the areas in between. We both decided to start looking seriously at settling long-term (or permanently) in Czech Republic. As the days passed, we (especially I) noted that things in Czech Republic seemed better. Big things and really little ones, too. Yes, Czech will be harder for me to learn, but it's best one of us speaks the language fluently. I found in France that Hubby's French was lesser than I expected. We have no support in France or really even the US. It's clearer how much more we have in CZ. It's like a Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz movie eventual moment, for us both. And now that I know what language to really study, I'll put my all into it...finally. There are eight more days to our trip. I wish we could head home tomorrow, but we'll probably ride this trip out to the end. Seems such a waste! Home? Yes, Czech Republic feels like home.

Well, you've found out. Sometimes a lousy trip gives us more information than a wonderful trip does.

My son has traveled literally all over the globe. He lived and went to university in Italy, same in Paris. He still visits friends in Europe, but he and my DIL's first choice of destination is Eastern Europe. He says the Eastern European countries are extraordinarily beautiful, more affordable, and that the people are so much friendlier than in Europe or the UK and Ireland.

Update after 4th dose of Caplyta. The good news is that the irrational hunger feeling is gone. I haven't felt dizzy since the 1st dose. I skated today with no problem. No creepy colored lights in my vision. My mind is quite a bit quieter, yet I haven't felt as extremely dull-minded today. The crummy news is that since the first dose the Caplyta hasn't helped me to fall asleep. I just took tonight's (5th) dose, I'll give it a 1/2 hour to kick in, and when I go to bed hopefully I will fall asleep quickly.

Summer is here, kids! 103 degrees today with no end in sight to outrageous temperatures. Tonight is going to drop to only 70 degrees, which means a stuffy apartment and major fan action.

Where is otroo?

I'm sorry to hear that you are in the middle of the heat. It's been a nice week here, with temperatures at a degree that is possible to live with. Yes, France is special when it comes to not being well learned in the English language. Everybody here seem to speak English well. Today will be a long day, with waiting outside of the hotel room before the bus who is going to take us to the airport will come. We will not be at home before in the middle of the night (or may be early morning). This week has given me the rest I needed, but now I look forward to coming home and try to continue my life in a hopefully good path! It is strange how little rest from the ordinary we need to feel OK.

Take care!

I guess they will give me morphine to make me sleepy if I am unable to lay still. I need a designated driver. Considering I seem to have restless everything, I'm counting on them getting it. Plus morphine makes you feel good as hell. Although you do get a bad hangover.

Thinking of you.

Your skating sounds like so much fun! I’m glad you are enjoying it so much.

I turned in the job application for the library on Monday. Hopefully I can get an interview

I’m on SSI so I have a limited income but my case manager said I can get a voucher to get clothes for working and interview clothes from a place around here which is good to know because honestly brand new clothes are out of my budget at the moment because I’m also making a payment towards what I owe my college so I can get re-enrolled hopefully for the fall semester.

I had a dentist appointment on Monday. I got like 3 fillings. On front teeth. They fixed my broken tooth. My teeth look so much better. I was so self conscious about smiling because of the way my teeth looked but honestly they look great right now. I’m so happy. I have another appointment for fillings near the back of my mouth tomorrow and then Friday is my root canal. Then I should be done with dental work until I have to go back in and get the permanent crown put in once it’s made.

My apartment building is having a bingo game later today so I’m gonna go to that.

I also need to walk to the library to return something.

I slept in till 7am today which was really nice because normally I’m up for the day by 4:30 or 5am everyday. Either due to insomnia or one of my cats (mustachio) waking me up for her breakfast. Lol She let me sleep in today.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day

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Blue bird 🐦 yes, cats do that! Ha ha, my guy let me know fifteen minutes before my alarm went off that he wanted more food! Usually he’s not demanding and just lays there waiting for me to wake up. Lately he’s been more insistent. I think it’s old age, in cat years he’s something like 90 now. On sunny days he wants breakfast so he can go lay in his bed in the sun! Glad you got to sleep in this morning!

Stick your nose in anytime

Yeah I’ve been on both versions but I was referring to the IR version. Was never a real fan of the XR. At one stage I was on a combination of 400 of both at night but when I was on 1200 it was all IR.

Let’s try this again. I’m about to go float before it heats up. I’m taking mom to the doctor this afternoon, stopping by Krispy Kreme for a dozen hot glazed, eating our church brought meals and seeing Downton Abbey with my sister and mom. Busy day. The doctor has had me resting. I still have lots of congestion after 11 days but I feel okay. Don’t know how to fix that.

Despite our disagreement last night, I texted my daughter to call me if she runs into rain whilst driving for her business trip and I’ll talk her through it. She thanked me and apologized for being ugly last night. We both said I love you.

Now off to the pool.

Me too to be honest. I mean I loved it. It was the only thing that truly worked for everything - mood, sleep, anxiety, psychosis etc and didn’t take away my personality or my ability to feel emotions or enjoy things or be creative - BUT it doubled my weight, gave me diabetes, gave me heart problems that went away after I stopped taking it and is suspected to have been the trigger for massive pulmonary embolisms that I had not long after starting to take it (I do have a genetic condition but they were triggered). I’ve been off it now for 8 months and have lost 40kgs (88lbs) but still a long way to go. It’s the devils drug but it’s so good!

**** does my stomach hurt. I've taken 4 extra strenghth tylenol since midnight. I think they say don't go over 3 thousand mil in 24 hours. At least thats what I was told during one of my surgeries. Anyways I was starving and light headed and anxious from not eating much yesterday. So I ate a pouch of tuna and a 100 calorie pack of nuts at 7 and my stomach pain erupted. Its like I can either be super anxious from lack of food or in intense pain. There has been no in between lately. My mom and I went out to breakfast at 8 because I thought I just needed to get out, and I couldnt eat. I tried getting some shopping done but I was in too much pain. I have therapy in a few hours and I want to cancel so badly but I'll be charged more then I pay her for the session. Why do they get to cancel on us all the time but when we cancel we get charged even when we're in ER type pain? I don't know. Maybe its worth a shot trying to expain it to her at least and hope she understands. I don't know. My scan thing is at 8 tommrow.

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird ...

Congratulations on turning in the application

Having the dental work done sounds so positive.

Good luck with bingo That sounds like such fun. I used to take my mom to bingo games at her assisted living place. I miss it.

Yay for Miss M. permitting you to sleep in I have one cat who walks all over me to wake me up. She also swipes my alarm clock onto the floor so I awaken. I don't know how she knows what time it is, but she sure does.

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Originally Posted by unlived Me too to be honest. I mean I loved it. It was the only thing that truly worked for everything - mood, sleep, anxiety, psychosis etc and didn’t take away my personality or my ability to feel emotions or enjoy things or be creative - BUT it doubled my weight, gave me diabetes, gave me heart problems that went away after I stopped taking it and is suspected to have been the trigger for massive pulmonary embolisms that I had not long after starting to take it (I do have a genetic condition but they were triggered). I’ve been off it now for 8 months and have lost 40kgs (88lbs) but still a long way to go. It’s the devils drug but it’s so good!

Yes, the side effects of Seroquel are downright dangerous. I gained weight from it and am now pre-diabetic with high blood pressure and elevated cholesterol. Very frustrating.

Ooo boy, aqua fitness was a real workout this morning the instructor was all push, push, push. It was a great work out. I found out the lady I talk to the most, she has a deaf niece and it’s easy to read her lips. She’s always telling me I look 40 not 63, well! She’s 92! I thought she was my sisters age, mid 70’s! Wow 😯

Tbh the main character in that episode did fool around with some sort of stuff and then ended up in an institution.

Short and sweet today! Woke up late, so I've got a sense of urgency!

Had my weekly phone consult with Voc Rehab. We powered through 6 applications today, including an insurance gig very similar to the one I tried for at the beginning of the month. Different company is all. $20,000 more than my previous job if I get it. Optimism. Anyhow, I just have to finish clerical stuff on the applications and I'll be kosher for my obligations there.

Still have my phone call with the DOR considering my missing tax refund. I don't even want it back at this point. I just want to know who was that desperate for $25. I'll find out in three hours.

Looking into funding sources for a dumpster (like back of a restaurant sized). Your first thought is probably "Huh?" but hear me out. I had a water pipe burst several months back while I was gone for a couple of days. So, I had a fair amount of water. Pipe was addressed, stuff was clean, I moved on. What I didn't realize, until I heard a crash, was how far the water got. I have an extra bedroom that I have been using for storage. A significant amount of storage. The water flowed into that room and pooled, causing exactly what you're thinking. I didn't know anything was wrong (and didn't think to check) because the room was sealed. Literally. I kept the door shut and put weather stripping on the bottom to help with heating and air. That room, combined with normal spring cleaning stuff I've yet to start, will easily fill that dumpster. So, here's hoping for one!

My sister called from the hospital. She saw our dad. He has a cracked vertebrae and some other malady. He needs rehab. He's got long white hair and a long white beard. My sister says he looks like Santa Clause mixed with Einstein. He's been lying to everybody! She said his condo is a terrible disaster area. There are roaches and poop all over the bathroom. The deep cleaners are coming tomorrow. I hope they can fix it all. It's costing over $7,000 for them to come. I just worry that if he's allowed to move back in that he'll just destroy the place- and himself- again. My sister went to get him some "real food" instead of hospital food for dinner- he asked.

I went for an emergency dentist appt today because my tooth has been hurting and now my face hurts. So I suspected bad infection. And I was right. I’m very glad I forced myself to go. It’s really bad, I almost had to go get IV antibiotics. It’s likely part of the reason I’ve been feeling so unwell. Not the whole reason as the GI pain has been going on for years but definitely why I’ve been feeling flushed, tired, and just all around sick.

Now of course the tooth is not able to be saved, I must have an extraction. I don’t care. It’s the very back molar. The dentist said I could have a consultation with an endodontist to see if they could do a root canal but she said they likely can’t because the tooth is also cracked below the jawline. So I could pay for a consult that’s a waste of time or I can just jump to the extraction. So yes, option B it is! Then I don’t have to worry about it ever again.

This really could have been avoided if I didn’t refuse to go to the dentist for so many years. Of all doctors I hate the dentist the most. I always feel like I’m suffocating and I panic, and I just HATE needles in my mouth. So for the extraction I’m going to take Xanax beforehand so I don’t panic in the chair and bring my squeezy toy.

I told RS he needs to hold me accountable and not let me cancel dentist appointments anymore. I’m always prepared to go and then day of I back out. If I know he will scold me I won’t back out. Even if I also know he won’t really scold me or get mad, the possibility is enough to get me to go. I have to get a bridge and probably a filling at least, if it hasn’t turned into another root canal by now. I have to keep regular appointments, otherwise I’m going to lose ALL my teeth and I don’t want that.

Ugh. At least I’m taking my physical health seriously now. I never did, partly because of my core belief that I’m not really deserving of anything at all. Now I try to convince myself I am every day, so I must prove it to myself.

Hopefully by next week I’ll be feeling better in general. I can get back into the gym. That will be nice.