Bipolar check-in # 66

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I found a dressy black shirt that I bought but am not crazy about. I’m going to return it tomorrow. I have a very nice black jacket that I love and I’ll wear a black and white shirt under it with black pants. Thanks for asking.

That sounds nice. I still think black or darker colors are appropriate for funerals. My dear uncle died in the spring though and it was quite warm already, I'm talking 16 years ago, and I wore the prettiest lavender crocheted dress. It had a silk lining. But I was a size 6.

What time will the service be?

I had a nice call with M. She’s having a rough time as well. I was so proud of the way she was calm and collected and helpful the day it happened. She manned the phones while I dealt with firefighters, paramedics, police and etc. Huge help she was. I’m glad she has her fiancée to help her process her grief.

I feel light hearted tonight. I’m watching another Madea movie. Hysterical. That Zoloft couldn’t work that fast surely. I have hope for the future and things look good right now. Looking forward to the pool tomorrow. I didn’t make it today.

I hope everybody has a peaceful evening. Hugs to all.

The lavender, crochet dress sounds lovely. The visitation is 12-2 Sunday with the service at 2. Internment will be Monday at 2.

I talked to my pdoc today. She was very supportive and said that she didn't hear anything psychotic in what I said today which is good. I haven't had any more problems since thee other night that I know of so it may be improving as my AD level lowers. I'm leaving my AD patch off for 24 hours to try to lower the level more quickly. And mostly she was just kind. We talked about my needing to talk to my sister about how to handle these things as when my mom is gone she'll be the one I have to go to and she seemed pretty taken aback this time. Not to blame her, it was a harsh introduction, but she needs to be as comfortable as possible.

No AP increase at this time. Hopefully not for a very long time.

I feel better after talking to her. Tired but better.

My appointment with my therapist went well today, was the first time we've seen each other in-person in so long, because we've been doing video visits due to covid

Tomorrow I'm getting my nose pierced, my sister is paying for it as a birthday present for me. I turn 28 on Saturday. Saturday I'm getting some takeout, then on Sunday I'm going to the movie theater with my friend to see the new Dr. Strange movie (Marvel)

Plan is to apply for a part time job at the library after my 3 dentist appointments this month

I love the Madea movies, they're very good, I'm glad you're feeling hopeful

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I talked to my pdoc today. She was very supportive and said that she didn't hear anything psychotic in what I said today which is good. I haven't had any more problems since thee other night that I know of so it may be improving as my AD level lowers. I'm leaving my AD patch off for 24 hours to try to lower the level more quickly. And mostly she was just kind. We talked about my needing to talk to my sister about how to handle these things as when my mom is gone she'll be the one I have to go to and she seemed pretty taken aback this time. Not to blame her, it was a harsh introduction, but she needs to be as comfortable as possible. No AP increase at this time. Hopefully not for a very long time. I feel better after talking to her. Tired but better.

Oh, good. I'm glad you don't have to have an AP increase.

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird My appointment with my therapist went well today, was the first time we've seen each other in-person in so long, because we've been doing video visits due to covid Tomorrow I'm getting my nose pierced, my sister is paying for it as a birthday present for me. I turn 28 on Saturday. Saturday I'm getting some takeout, then on Sunday I'm going to the movie theater with my friend to see the new Dr. Strange movie (Marvel) Plan is to apply for a part time job at the library after my 3 dentist appointments this month

Have a wonderful piercing experience!

What are the Madea movies?

@*Beth* he's young, has a degree, and won't stick with a team or stay on meds. If we have to we'll figure meds but he needs to be honest about his struggles. He's chopping it up to loneliness. I want him on an injectable medication if possible (he wants that too). We're taking it week by week, day by day, hour by hour. I hate to do it but we may have to convince him to come home but that's a battle we're trying to avoid. We're giving it another month and were going to have to make big decisions including possible all of us moving to a better situation. But that's a big decision and where we want to be is to expensive to travel to see family. So we may have to move to a colder climate.

Could be your galbadder I am going to go in and see about this.

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I was taking 200mg for awhile there and they were relaxing me nothing else and that's what I started at. Now I double dosed in accident once but did not get much out of it.

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Happy early birthday hope you have a great day.

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Thank you!

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Tyler Perry made a series of movies where the main character is an elderly woman named Madea. They are very funny and relaxing.

Rainbow .. so glad that K doesn’t think you have something brewing ! Do you think your Sister is able to help you in the way you need her too ?

Beth I wanna see Pics of your skates lol !

Jennifer ongoing prayers and love

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I’m still really down but it could just be a fluke and have nothing to do with Bipolar. It’s been raining on and off since last night! Knock that pollen right out of the sky woooo hooooo !

Hope everyone is doing well

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Hello all! Back at it after a long hiatus!
Basic summary: I lost my job at the beginning of the year two days after returning from a medical leave. I point out the curious timing, repeatedly, and with emphasis. They have the good sense to look ashamed and don't engage further beyond logistics. No pink slip or explicit reason was given. I apply for unemployment and NOW they have a reason: attendance. I point out the obvious: Medical leave, call-ins reflect medical leave, etc. They come back with "It's not about THAT. There were absences in October that were just NOW concerned about." I'm fighting them, but WOW are they petty. Gung-ho about putting a sick man in his place. So, there's that.

Given that my health is such that I need a specialist team, losing health insurance was a gut punch in addition to the low blow. I applied for Medicaid almost immediately (February) and was promised a ten day decision window. They've blown through that one. Not their fault though. The state government didn't want to implement the Medicaid expansion the voters approved and went to court to fight it. When the state lost, they decided to quibble. "We'll expand Medicaid because we have to. We don't have to fund the office though." And now they're buried in applications that may or may not be approved but have to be made. Why? Literally every other avenue of assistance will not lift a finger to help until Medicaid makes a decision. Hospitals won't. Obamacare won't. Some of the low cost clinics won't. I'm stuck.

Although, I might get unstuck in one aspect. I'm two interviews in for an insurance sales position. I've done well in similar positions, selling contracts and policies. I can break that stuff down for people in plain language. I seemed to get on well my boss and fellow coworkers. Hopefully, I get it. One minus is that it's an hour drive to the business, but at $15,000 more than I made at my previous job, I'll happily shell out the extra gas money!

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Originally Posted by otroo Could be your galbadder I am going to go in and see about this. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

Yeah, you are correct. My daughter was having symptoms like those and she had to have her gallbladder removed last month.

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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom @*Beth* he's young, has a degree, and won't stick with a team or stay on meds. If we have to we'll figure meds but he needs to be honest about his struggles. He's chopping it up to loneliness. I want him on an injectable medication if possible (he wants that too). We're taking it week by week, day by day, hour by hour. I hate to do it but we may have to convince him to come home but that's a battle we're trying to avoid. We're giving it another month and were going to have to make big decisions including possible all of us moving to a better situation. But that's a big decision and where we want to be is to expensive to travel to see family. So we may have to move to a colder climate.

You're being wonderful parents. An injectable would be ideal. I hope you don't have to move to a colder climate.

Christina, here ya go

That or gallstones is what keeps being suggested but in ultrasounds everything always looks fine. But this happens every couple months and then the pain and nausea passes for a bit but then comes back. I see a gastro doctor in July.

Wow! I love those! Way cool!

I feel good today. I have a collection of positive affirmations on Pinterest that I’ve been reviewing frequently and it’s raising my spirits. I’ve always had a problem with self love and self esteem and it finally hit last night! True love for myself. What an incredible breakthrough at such a strange time. I could instinctively feel that my life will change in wonderful ways. I am still grieving and I still have challenges and obstacles to overcome but wow! What a phenomenal feeling. The perfectionism, need to prove myself and insecurities - gone.

I still have things to do to prepare but things are falling into place. It’s almost unbelievable how much it will cost. It’s so expensive! Fortunately, my brother had put aside some money he inherited from our grandfather for that specific purpose. Otherwise, we’d be up the creek. Seriously. I’m going to look into a policy for myself so my loved ones don’t have to worry.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

Jennifer, funerals are such a scam! They charge SO much for every aspect because they know that you’re obviously going to do it and don’t really have a choice. Also that you’re grieving and probably not up to making big decisions. It’s reprehensible. My ex’s funeral/interment cost about $9000 and I was lucky that my brother and my job set up go fund me’s to help. We had no money at all for a funeral.

I’m glad you’re feeling better. Sometimes a close person passing is actually a catalyst to get better. When my ex died I was determined to get and stay well for my son because I knew it was just me and him against the world now and he needed me.

Positive affirmations are great when you find some that work for you!

Woke up out of a nightmare, again. This time I was being forced back into the hospital because I couldn’t tell my clinician the date. In my dream I thought it was still 2018 and then I amended to 2020 but that wasn’t right either. I had to tell my son that I had to leave again and he was devastated. Then I was terrified they’d send me to the state hospital.

I seriously never want to be IP again. They don’t help. I have to exercise more self control if I run into crises. I think I can do that. I’m organizing my treatment binder, highlighting the most useful parts, and getting the little post it arrows. That way I can flip through depending on how I’m feeling and find a skill more quickly.

I also have a small notebook for my satchel that has a list of emergency ground skills. Im arming myself this time. I will not leave work and I will NOT go IP again. No no no.