Bipolar check-in #68

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Originally Posted by Nammu I was about 3 1/2 when I got the measles. I was too young to ask why I couldn’t hear anymore, I just thought that’s how it was. It was my grandma who noticed I couldn’t hear any more. I can very clearly remember when she took me to the doctor and he used a tuning fork, when he placed it on the bone behind the ear I could hear it. They sent me to a special preschool and I did so well that they had me start regular school instead of Deaf school. I was the first person in the state to be main streamed.

How wonderful that you were able to be mainstreamed, and what an honor to be the first deaf child in the state to be mainstreamed!

I feel so sad that you lost your hearing due to measles, which of course is preventable now. But I deeply admire you for handling your inability to hear as well as you do. You cope and carry on beautifully.

The vaccine didn’t come out till I was older. I think I was 5 or 6 when they developed it. It was still later before they had the combo vaccine that’s now required for school. I hear there’s a polio outbreak in NY, that’s preventable now and so unnecessary!

I was vaccinated for measles, mumps, and rubella when I was 12. I remember because they asked all of us girls if we were pregnant (measles vaccine can cause a miscarriage). I had not even had my first period yet. But I hope if a 12 year old girl was pregnant, they'd contact Child Protective Services.

It’s definitely not stupid! I’m the same way, if I had to work in food service I’d probably crumple under the pressure. That’s why I like my part time job, there aren’t many customers. Now I’m sure around the holidays it will pick up just as it does everywhere in retail but it’s only for a few weeks.

Good for you for sticking it out! I hope you’re proud of yourself, you deserve to be!

Well, I'm here. I think I've made it through and won't die. Looking back, I realize that I was sick for a week or more before I got very, very sick. This one has really kicked my bum. Interestingly, I had that severe manic episode just before getting sick - and the manic episode included a vicious, ongoing migraine. That has happened to me before - having an intense episode as a precursor to a physical illness. Makes me wonder.

So now I am so sleepy that I keep having awake dreams. @moose you described the sleep I need very well. 15 minutes until the laundry is dry, I'll fold it, then take a blessed nap.

Thank you all for your precious support.

~**~***~~~**~*~*peace**~**~**~**~*~*~

How did your gf's surgery go on Monday, and how are you doing @buddha1too?

Thank you Beth and WFC, I am definitely proud of myself. I'm gonna keep volunteering there for a few weeks because it's good experience. But it does make me realize I don't do well under pressure so if I ever get a part time job it would definitely need to be something low stress like shelving books at a library.

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Initially I was planning getting a part time job, PLUS volunteering, plus going back to college part time all at the same time. When I mentioned all that to my psychiatrist she was very concerned about me taking on too much because I have a history of my mental health deteriorating under stress. So for right now I’m volunteering a few days for the next few weeks. Then in the spring (January) I’m going back to college part time and stopping the volunteering for awhile while I focus on that. And maybe if I can handle a semester or two without having to withdraw then I’ll try out part time work. I just have to take things slowly because I do horribly when I’m stressed

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Sorry posted a post about this show in the wrong thread, anyway anyone else here in the bipolar forum watching the new Rings of Power series on Amazon? I’m gonna start it soon

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Sounds like a smart plan!

Holy cow! How would a 12 yr old know if they were pregnant? I surely hope they would report it to child services!

Wow! 😲 Xx

You're right. Odds are, a 12 year old wouldn't know until they were pretty far along.

Well I moved back "home" (across the country) after living in the south for a year. It was nice, especially in the winter, but not for me. I was living close to my Dad and that was nice but his wife and her family didn't really take to me and we didn't become close. I reconciled with ex-husband and moved back home. Driving 18 hours with two cats in two is no joke.

Now to get re-settled with pdoc. I already saw my PCP.

I'm beginning to understand why this position was vacant. I know everyone here knows I'm working with phone sales, but I've got to explain the full job dynamic so what I say next makes some sense.

I work for a third party hired by Walmart to sell their phones in a specific store. Walmart associates are prohibited under pain of termination from doing anything other than selling them at the register. The idea is that I work with them to promote and sell their phone stock through various methods.

They have no interest in doing any of that, to the point that they became literal children when I tried to press the issue. The department manager literally went "La la la! I can't hear you!" when I asked about a display of mine they had no interest in using. Did it three times. A older woman who worked in the department became incensed that I contradicted her about that same display (I knew what I was talking about. She was wrong.) and told on me to Mr. La la la. who then lied to my face on her behalf. I mean, she didn't even hide her smirk!

From what I gather from the actual adults in the room, this is typical behavior for them. Walmart hires all of us vendors to work their products and the children in charge don't utilize us. I'm tempted to do an end run around them and contact corporate, but I can see that backfiring... for everyone. They might face punishment or termination, but that will leave me with no electronics crew.

An aside: If this Walmart has no interest in letting me do my job, my bosses have set up the job so I have to rely on them to do it. They want as little confusion as to what my role is in the store to the point I'm (technically) not allowed behind the counter. I'm supposed to sell, sell, sell, but they're the ones who actually cash them out. I lose the electronics crew, I lose that.

Also, if they're willing to throw tantrums to get what they want, I have to expect they'll do something petty if they really get thwarted. If I do go to corporate, I'm going to have to pick my moment. Question is: Which corporate? My employers? Or Walmart.

The temperature in the proverbial room will go down tomorrow, but there's some serious issues there!

Nice to see you @Polibeth ! I’m glad you were able to reconcile with your ex. I am sorry your dad’s wife didn’t appreciate you being there though.

I was manic today, no doubt about it. Restless to the point of uncomfortable, loud music, driving fast. I figured out that I ran out of the 250mg depakote tablets on SATURDAY so I haven’t taken it since then, leading to a low depakote level. I didn’t notice because I still had 1000mg in there.

So hopefully now that I have them I can be stable again. Give it a couple of days and I should be fine. I slap myself on the wrist though for not noticing. I should put a reminder in my Medisafe app that I have three depakote pills to take not just two.

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Initially I was planning getting a part time job, PLUS volunteering, plus going back to college part time all at the same time. When I mentioned all that to my psychiatrist she was very concerned about me taking on too much because I have a history of my mental health deteriorating under stress. So for right now I’m volunteering a few days for the next few weeks. Then in the spring (January) I’m going back to college part time and stopping the volunteering for awhile while I focus on that. And maybe if I can handle a semester or two without having to withdraw then I’ll try out part time work. I just have to take things slowly because I do horribly when I’m stressed.

I entirely agree with taking a low-stress approach. One endeavor at a time.

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Originally Posted by Nammu Holy cow! How would a 12 yr old know if they were pregnant? I surely hope they would report it to child services!

My aunt, my mother's younger sister, was pregnant at the age of 12. My aunt told my mother, "Sis, something is wrong with me because I haven't had my monthly in a long time." My mother told her she needed to tell mama. Well, my grandmother was snobby. She didn't want anyone to find out about her daughter's pregnancy and my grandfather would have done whatever my grandmother decided.

They put my aunt in a "home for unwed mothers." Her baby girl was born a few months later, in 1939. My mother saw her and always remarked about how beautiful she was. The baby was adopted out. The boy's family apparently had no say in any of it.

My mother hated her mother for not keeping the baby and raising her. Truly hated her for it. She never could forgive my grandmother - and I can't blame my mother for how she felt.

My aunt married when she was 17, she married a really decent fellow and they had a solid marriage, including four children. Sadly, my aunt's husband died of a heart attack when he was in his late 50's. My aunt grieved terribly for him. When she was 60 years old she sui. That was 37 years ago. I miss her very much, she had a terrific personality and about the best sense of humor of anyone I've ever known.

Ironically, I used to live in the neighborhood where that "home" still stands. I did a lot of research on it. Back in 1939 the place was outside of town, but the city had grown up around the place. By the time I lived there it was in the middle of a nice neighborhood. It's a large place, like a great, big house. It functioned as a home for unwed mothers until - get this - 1983! So young women were still being sent to such places less than forty years ago. The place is now a residence for seniors.

So I woke up at 4:30 pm. I still have the bugs but I'm less panicked. Miguel's second day of school today and he's disappointed. He worries that he won't learn much given the syllabus.

@Nammu, thanks for sharing about the cause of your deafness. It's so awful that that happened! Far too many people have no clue how dangerous such diseases are, instead thinking the vaccines are always worse, or that they are fully protected because of others being vaccinated. Obviously, like you, my mom was born before the vaccine availability. She had awful cases of measles, mumps, and Scarlet fever that kept her home from school for months, one affecting her kidneys. At a point, they wondered if she might die. I think that period was even a bit traumatic for her.

I got the MMR vaccine as a very young child, but had to also again during university years. I recall during the latter them saying breakthrough cases were present from vaccines given during certain years. Since then, I've always kept up with vaccines and am happy I've done so, also getting additional (incl. a malaria one) before my travels to Asia in the 1990s. My mom, having gone through what she did as a child, instilled in my siblings and me a very pro-vaccine mindframe.

I'm glad to see you back here checking in, @Polibeth. I hope things are working out better now that you're back with your ex. After what you wrote, my brain is concocting all kinds of chaos scenarios about your cats jumping and running around the inside of the car those 18 hours.

Of course I can't get to sleep tonight, even with the PRN, so I came up with a game plan to avoid ruminating on the whole sad job affair.

I'm becoming VERY willing to just send everything as high up the chain (on my end) as possible. Again if they're willing to be childish and demeaning to get what they want, I can't correct it, but maybe someone with my main office can do some yelling and make it so. Also, if I can't do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) on my own initiative, beyond just sitting there, why the heck am I there? I'm not gonna make any real sales numbers if I can't get visibility. I know this company has some say in how their employees get treated. I just have to find the right person.

There's also the risk that I will demolish any tenuous professional relationship I have with that retail store real fast (and in multiple ways) if things don't go my way. Path of least resistance would have me look at another position in the company. I mean, I can sell phones easily. I spent nearly five years developing the skill set. I'd like to use it!

One route could come courtesy of the other rep (the one I misjudged). He's been trying to recruit me to his company for a couple of days now. I think I might take him up on it. Significantly less stress, more commission on more products, more pay. I can act somewhat independently in the store on my shift. And I don't have to fight anyone over a freaking cardboard display! Pieces of a cardboard display!

I'm extremely willing to be poached at this point!

Worst comes to worst, I'll talk with Voc Rehab again and restart the job search.

@Nammu @Soupe du jour, my mom had polio right before the vaccine came out. Had to deal with the iron lung and everything. She was one of the first people to get the vaccine from (I want to say directly from...) Jonas Salk and so had absolutely no problem making sure I had all the necessary vaccinations when I came in the picture.

And if, for some reason, I didn't believe her, I could always look back on the one flu season where I skipped the shot. I was sick every other week with one time being bad enough to go to the ER. Vaccines have directly helped me and my family.

Anyway, my soap box of the early morning!

@Mountaindewed A bit belated, but congratulations!