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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Posts: 746
12 2,549 hugs
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#401
I'm not precisely sure, but aging has helped me worry less about what others think of me. I used to be a real people pleaser, which seemed to make my self-esteem plummet. I have, however, become a more thoughtful person as I've aged because I don't want to become a "people pisser offer" after having been a people pleaser for so long. So, I guess, getting older has made me stronger in that sense...even if I sometimes look in the mirror & see an unfamiliar old man gazing back!
Projecting into the future, what kind of person do you see yourself becoming when you get much older? Explain. |
JaneOnceMore
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insideoutsider, Nammu
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 794
1 60 hugs
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#402
Quote:
Love this question, tough but worth the thought from time to time. It often changes for me. Island man vs wise people person. I'm an introvert, but can get on fine with others once I have a good grasp on what the situation is.. I feel uncomfortable when I don't know what's going around in my environment. I'd like to be something like a role model. But when not keeping my composure for the betterment of others (and me), I'll need like a helicopter or something to have a break from that **** Q: what is your favorite childhood memory? Or do you have more than one? __________________ - nothing personal |
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buddha1too, JaneOnceMore
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buddha1too, Nammu
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,347
(SuperPoster!)
14 55.9k hugs
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#403
I have several. But perhaps the two that stand out the most is of me, my pony and my dog taking trips together. We lived out in the country and summer was a time to be gone from breakfast to supper. My second favorite memories are of being up at the cabin up north with various cousins, we played cards and board games all day interspersed with swimming.
What is your favorite childhood memory? __________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
buddha1too, JaneOnceMore
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buddha1too, insideoutsider
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,634
8 1,680 hugs
given |
#404
Creating a vast and detailed fantasy world that encompassed my family's large farm and most of my grandparents farm. (They lived close.) When I started school, school figured into it as well. Good way of dealing with the boredom of living on a (relatively) isolated farm. Nearest kid my age was well out of walking or biking distance, so I had to entertain myself a lot.
Do you sometimes feel like you've wasted too much time? __________________ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,156
9 13.4k hugs
given |
#405
Quote:
Name an action or direction you've taken in your life that was/is for the best. __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2011
Posts: 746
12 2,549 hugs
given |
#406
I'm going to sound like I drank the Kool-Aid, but making the decision to go to AA is the most important action/decision I have made. My drinking was WAY out of control when I made that decision...blackouts, screwing up relationships with loved ones and friends because of things I said or did when I was drunk, etc. I tried to quit drinking on my own, but was never able to do that. Going to AA helped. I guess I once viewed it as a cult, but nothing could be farther from the truth. In AA I'm not afraid to express my own truth..
I still get "dry drunks" on occasion, falling into old behaviors when I should know better. It happened here not long ago when I was making false statements about Sunflower. One of the reasons I just lurked for several months was the fact that I felt shame for precipitating that unfortunate collision. If you feel comfortable sharing, what is the most regrettable thing you've ever said or done? |
Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 794
1 60 hugs
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#407
Quote:
Oh man. I immediately think of a public intoxication event that lead me to become homeless for years and on probation. However part of me feels like I needed a wakeup call, so as bad as the life before housing was, I don't think it was my biggest regret. The day my girlfriend drove 2 hours to see me, as she always did on Friday afternoons, and I was so busy getting high that I told her to leave and go home. The pain in her voice, the shame I felt that whole weekend and even up to today - it really tares me up. Q: what are the top 3 ideas that have stuck with you from experience that helped shape your future for the better? __________________ - nothing personal |
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buddha1too, Nammu
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buddha1too
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,634
8 1,680 hugs
given |
#408
1. "Don't sweat the small stuff. And nothing's the big stuff." I don't know the occasion that led to those words being spoken to me, but it was a light bulb moment, giving my constantly tense and wound-up childhood self a chance to relax and not be in constant fight or flight mode.
2. "Mindfulness of Breathing" Practicing that meditation allows me to feel the ebb and flow of my thoughts and bring them to center. It's nice to treat my thoughts as a river to channel rather than an enemy to beat. 3. "IDIC" Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. While that phrase and the corresponding symbol was a marketing gimmick for Star Trek by Gene Roddenberry himself, it's not a bad sentiment. For the show I love as well as the world around me. The world is an interesting place, with so much uniqueness. If you know where to look. And I want to see as much of it as I can! Same question (Reworded somewhat.): What are some ideas you learned (and internalized) in your younger years that shaped your life for the better? __________________ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
insideoutsider
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Nammu
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 794
1 60 hugs
given |
#409
Thanks for your answers! It's a great question isn't it. I'll give it a shot:
My parents, I believe, did a good job raising me. I mostly see the world as a prosocial, cooperative, fruitful place. And alongside establishing that healthy world view, I was raised in an environment that encouraged confidence and such. As I get older I appreciate this more and more. However, with the lights out it's less dangerous. But even so, tapping into that mindset at a later age, merely having it be accessable helps a lot. Q: what aspects of other people do you tend to judge too harshly, and what aspects do you give people too much grace on, in your opinion? __________________ - nothing personal |
Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,156
9 13.4k hugs
given |
#410
Quote:
On the "laissez-faire" to very strict scale, how would you characterize how you were raised? __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
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insideoutsider
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,347
(SuperPoster!)
14 55.9k hugs
given |
#411
I’d say pretty laissez faire with unwritten strict rules as mines. I was never censored in what I read or watched but I was expected to obey adults without question. I had chores but I could negotiate some things. By the time I was 9 I was left in charge of the house and animals on weekends. Yet at the same time there were rules of “proper” behavior.
On the whole did you have a good childhood? __________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Soupe du jour
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Member
Member Since Feb 2023
Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names
Posts: 462
1 3,266 hugs
given |
#412
Answer:
Yes, i had a wonderful childhood! I had a little sister two years younger than me. We played together constantly and the years passed in a blur of giggles. All Summer my parents would take us camping and all Winter we would talk about camping. I think that's why i got a little further in life (at least professionally) than most people with a mental illness. Mostly i hear about bad childhoods from my peers. Things fell apart in my family in my teens, tho. I feel that's a big contributing factor in me developing a mental illness. Question: Have you ever tried to quit a vice before? How did it go? |
Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,152
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,850 hugs
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#413
I think overall I did because of the friends I had. When I talk about my childhood in therapy it sounded like it sucked majorly because we just talk about the traumatic family stuff, but in reality most of the time I was off in school or at the pond walking on the ice or catching snails with my parents' friends' kids who were in the exact same situation I was in.
Oh we answered at the same time. See Jane's Q. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 6,008
9 7,527 hugs
given |
#414
Quote:
Have you ever struggled with an addiction? __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "I'm scared. I'm old. I want to go home!" 😁 - anonymous |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2023
Location: Ontario; long-time member, just under other names
Posts: 462
1 3,266 hugs
given |
#415
Answer:
Yes, i've struggled with benzo addiction. I tried to withdraw a few years ago and had to settle for harm reduction. I cut my consumption down 75%. I wished it could have been zero, but i started misbehaving and having confrontations in public places. I guess i am just a person that needs 5mg of Valium to function. Question: What do you think of Twelve Step programs? |
Fuzzybear, insideoutsider
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,156
9 13.4k hugs
given |
#416
Quote:
How far from home have you ever gone just by yourself? No one with you, other than maybe a pet. __________________ Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 600 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. |
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Aurelius710
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Aurelius710
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 794
1 60 hugs
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#417
Driven 1,000 miles by myself, maybe 5 or 6 times.
I love driving. Finding a group that goes your speed (cops can't take you all down at once right?) Or driving casually on the open road at night time. My favorite are those 2 lane highways with nice greenery in the middle and on the sides. It gets pretty flat and straight in the mid-west with a good amount of 18 wheelers. Can be dangerous in the winter with all those trucks. Music always playing, probably a cafinated drink. One of my trips I smoked a half dozen joints and finished the drive within 24 hours. I remember driving through a desolate part of New Jersey and getting gas in Philadelphia - pulling into the station I felt like my presentation was sort of like a cocky college kid. I felt very out of place. I could feel the looks. I minded my own business as I usually do, which probably was the best decision I could make. Being stoned with those guy, outside my car, in unfamiliar territory, before I'd ever lived in an east coast city, it was a situation that I wasn't really prepared for! But ultimately, it was fine. Got the gas and drove off. Do you enjoy your job, or know what you'd like to do for work, or are happy not having one? What aspect of your situation brings you happiness? __________________ - nothing personal |
Soupe du jour
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,634
8 1,680 hugs
given |
#418
I very much enjoy my job, though it's not one I'd want to settle for, for several reasons. But I do enjoy it, because of the problem solving aspect to it. It's technically prepaid phone sales and I do sell well, but the knowledge base I developed over five years on the job (with various employers) let's me solve many issues with ease. And that, it goes without saying, helps with customer retention.
I'm paraphrasing a bit, but they say that the older you get, the less you care about what others think. Do you find truth to that in your own life? __________________ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 794
1 60 hugs
given |
#419
I'll always care what people think That's part of living in society and trying to get what I want. I haven't changed on the whole, just on different things that I prioritize as being more or less important to present to the public
Same question as Aurelius please? __________________ - nothing personal |
Insert Smiley Face
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 6,008
9 7,527 hugs
given |
#420
Quote:
Same question. __________________ The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "I'm scared. I'm old. I want to go home!" 😁 - anonymous |
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