Bipolar check-in #71

But…do you have a Walmart? Kroger? Etc. We DO have a **** Ton of dollar generals but groceries we must travel

We have FIVE dollar generals

Happy Happy birthday Nammu!
bizi

Well, I'm up late with my girl Sidney because her glucose number has dropped a bit lower than I like. So we're doing testing every 1/2 hour for a while. She's actually "earned" a lower insulin dose, it seems!

I had an excellent appointment with M. today (therapist). This has been such a darn rough season for me (as most of you are more than aware ). M. firmly believes I need increases in 1 or 2 meds and wants to speak with med dude. She doesn't want him to keep passing my depression/anxiety off as "Well, that sounds like you need to use your tools." She has been with me through 4 of these fall season hells and takes them seriously as far as being biological in nature. M. is so diplomatic and validating, I know she'll be able to speak with med dude in a way that won't insult him, but will share info with him that will be helpful.

I called this morning and amazingly, was able to get an earlier appointment with med dude for Wednesday. I'm going to go in, rather than do a phone call, and give him M.'s business card so he has her phone number, full name, photograph, etc.

Oh! And M. & I talked over my appointment with Dr. D. (the addiction guy). Nah, not going to continue with him. We agreed that he's probably put off by the BD diagnosis; that and his harsh manner...not the right fit for me. It was such an upsetting experience, but now I feel settled with it. The good that came of it is that I am decreasing the K-pin by a bit. It's a start.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 But…do you have a Walmart? Kroger? Etc. We DO have a **** Ton of dollar generals but groceries we must travel We have FIVE dollar generals

We have THREE freakin' Walmarts! I hate them, but David loves the bargains. I do order from Walmart online, though, and that's really helpful.

No Krogers and we had a Dollar General, but it closed up this week! So weird, because it was always packed.
Our Dollar Tree is very busy.

Wait...FIVE Dollar Generals really is too many...

I have majorly cut back on caffeine. Once I found out Dunkin Donuts now does decaf iced lattes. I can get away with just a can of Coke for the day and be done with the caffeine. That and eating with my meds and eating proper meals has helped. The haircut for sure has been a big help. I'm hoping this extra 50mil of Prestiq gives me that extra push I need.

Happy Birthday, Nammu!!!

I was relieved to have gotten a good night's sleep last night. I was feeling so ill for days. The night before last I even forgot my evening meds until 2 am. It's amazing what that can do. I literally felt two steps away from needing a hospitalization. Yes, today is much much better. The end of this week will be stressful, but hopefully some bit of relief for my ears. I think/hope it will get a little easier from there.

My husband and I are pretty sure we'll be visiting my family (including my brother) over the Christmas/New Year's period. I think we'll stay at my father's house where my brother lives. Dad has lived at the assisted living for years. My sister said Dad's house is cleaned up enough for our visit/stay. I'm glad. We wouldn't have the money for renting a hotel room. Even my brother said we should stay in the house. That really means it's fine! I think a visit over a holiday feels less like a visit for a possible goodbye. I'm still hopeful (more than my sister) that my brother can fight the cancer. I'm not in denial about the possibilities, though.

It's 5 am, I haven't slept, and I'm going to get kick off face book if I'm not carful.

I agree. But it’s a big county and very rural
So
They all get great business!

(Happy bday tune)

Good morning to ya!
Good morning to ya!
Good morning …I love ya
Good morning to ya!

Oo I feel discombobulated from sleeping too late. The alarm went off and I rolled over to get 5 more minutes than then it was 9:30! It’s a dark day snowing and blowing. I give blood today so I like to increase my water consumption by a lot. It really does make a difference. Then tonight is wreath making at the nature center if there’s not too much snow! Off to drink my water. 💦

I took the increase in Prestiq this morning. I have some minor fogginess and nausea but nothing big. I got my weekly shot this morning too so I feel pretty good today. I saw my pulmonoglist. Who is my sleep doctor. He said my sleep apnea test was normal. Which I knew. He said I should be getting to bed at like 8 and not at 6. It will be helpful with first shift hours. Then he said we could also go down the sleep med route. I thought he might suggest meds but I was going to turn him down. I don't want something else thats addicting and also sleep meds scare me because you can do things in your sleep you don't remember the next day. So we agreed to try going to sleep a couple hours later. He said if I want to try meds then to give the office a call. I made a 6 month appointment and if everything is stable with my sleep I won't have to see him anymore. But yeah the appointment went fine. Now I see the new therapist on Thursday and hopefully that will go as well as this appointment today and my pdoc appointment yesterday.

But I knew the decrease in testereone was what I needed and it has helped a lot. I knew the increase in Prestiq could help. So I hope it does. And I know sleep meds will not help. I know what I do and don't need. My mom says its good to know your body.

My brother in law just texted my mom for my jean measurements. I thought he might want to buy me an expensive pair after his jean talk over lunch during the summer. I feel bad because I don't think I have $200 for Christmas presents total on people this year. Let alone $200 for one person. My mom told me not to worry. She said its on him if he wants to buy me a lavish Christmas gift.

Mmmmmm Dr Pepper!!!!!!

Today is so pretty. Everything is pretty out today even the rainy clouds!!’nnn

I’m
Supposed to get up
Super
Early tomororw and I dread
It

I’m so overwhelmed.

The blood letting went well. Always does when I can get tons of water down before my appointment. Was in a nice church. They had good stuff in addition to the usual snacks. But all my windows were iced over when I got out. Spent time scraping the windows. Hope the snow quits by the time I go for wreath making class. It will be dark by then and the nature center doesn’t have good lights in the parking lot.

I’m
Doing this chronic disease self management facilitators training. It’s our fifth week. Gah k god next week is it. Then we start the group
I’m January. It’s a research project by Dartmouth and they selected my employer to be part of it. I will
Be
Facilitating a two hour group once a week for six weeks.

I’m also a full time college student.

I’m ending my first semester of social work field placement.

I have a huuuuge assignment due next week.

And I am my grandmothers caregiver.

We have tornado. Weather around us tonight and omg I also have a fiancé


Sooooo much

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Oo I feel discombobulated from sleeping too late. The alarm went off and I rolled over to get 5 more minutes than then it was 9:30! It’s a dark day snowing and blowing. I give blood today so I like to increase my water consumption by a lot. It really does make a difference. Then tonight is wreath making at the nature center if there’s not too much snow! Off to drink my water. 💦

Ooh! How did the wreath making go? I get my craft kicks vicariously through you

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ...My mom told me not to worry. She said its on him if he wants to buy me a lavish Christmas gift.

I agree. He'll be happy to do it, if he wants to.

I'm taking a break from doing a load of work with the book business. It's been slower during these holiday seasons than it was pre-covid, but still busy, thankfully. A very bright, sunny afternoon, but blowy and icy cold. The nights seem 3 nights long. I think after the new year the day begins to increase, bit by bit.

Oh it went great but only 4 people showed up. Class was limited to 8 and around noon they sent out a reminder and asked if you couldn’t come to call because there was a waiting list. The other three were new and I was the only one that bought things to put on the wreath. Last year everyone bought stuff to add. I just had four gold star ornaments and red berries. I like to keep it simple. But the others really filled out their wreaths they looked great with just the bows and pine cones. Everyone chose to do the big one. They have three sizes. Ohh they all looked good.

Yeah winter solstice is December 21st. So it’s noticeable by January that it’s getting lighter. I’m so done with the darkness. I hate driving in the dark.

Watching Rudolf the red nosed reindeer now. feels very Christmasy

I'm home from my biopsy and settled into bed. I'm exhausted but still wired from the lidocaine. I'm not going to mess with insomnia tonight; if I can't sleep by midnight or so I'm taking klonopin. Sleep will be hard because the biopsy was done on my left breast on the outside and I usually sleep on my left side.

I also have my Emsam!

Results in 4-7 days, approximately.

Sleep well rainbow 🌈

I want to preface this with the information that I took a shower this morning. I put on deodorant. I did my due diligence this morning to look presentable. That makes what happened to me all the more anger-inducing.

I was approached by a Walmart middle manager (Note: I don't work for Walmart. I have my own boss.) who decided to dress me down in the middle of the sales floor for not meeting (Walmart?) standards (Again, don't work for Walmart.) denigrated my personal hygiene (Also, see the preface.), saying I smelled but not specifying anything beyond something smelling "sour." Then she threatened my job. She can't technically fire me, but she threatened to have me kicked out of the store and therefore make me unable to do my job.

I was shocked at her audacity (That was quite literally the first interaction I had with the woman!) and then incensed to the point I had to actually calm myself down, lest I say something... unhelpful to my cause. After I calmed down, I asked the people I interact with about any errant... aromas. Those that had notes (Several were confused and didn't know what I was on about.) mentioned feet.

This middle manager threatened my employment over sweaty feet, something that tends to happen when you're on your feet for six, seven, eight hours.

You better believe I told my boss about this. She seems to have my back on this one, saying that any issues of "talking to" caliber should be relayed to her, so they come down my chain of command. Makes sense, but I don't mind real time input from those I collaborate with either. What I do mind is being reminded about why I don't work for Wally World anymore via the "Karen" who became the manager she asked for!


Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.