Bipolar check-in #71

~Christina · Nov 27, 2022, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

So we have these two now:
Bipolar check-in #71

Adorable

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*Beth* · Nov 27, 2022, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmariah001

I feel like my counseling agency is letting me down. My counselor is taking 2 months for medical reasons . She is leaving me with no one to talk to. December and January are the worst 2 months for me. .....

Oooh, I am so sorry. I've been in that situation with my therapist a lot. I've been in therapy with her "on paper" for almost 4 years. I've actually, when added all up, seen her for less than 3 years because she has been absent so much. She is over 70 years old, has health problems and a number of family situations that suddenly arise. Most of her absences are on very short notice (same day or same week; once in a while I get notice a week in advance, but that's rare). Sometimes she misses 1 session, sometimes a week, and sometimes a month - a couple of times it's been as long as 2 and 3 months, with zero contact.

The inconsistency in my therapy with her is extremely stressful - almost more so than not being in therapy, at all. But I don't pay to see her and she and I are very bonded (which makes it all the more difficult when she's gone).

My purpose in telling you this is to express that I know how very upsetting it is when a therapist is away as yours will be.

You said "There has to be another counselor I can talk to." IS there another one? Can you strongly advocate for that? Or, if not, is there a different clinic you can transfer to?

*Beth* · Nov 27, 2022, 06:11 PM

Aw, they are just darling @MuddyBoots What are their names?

*Beth* · Nov 27, 2022, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I've been sick for the past few days. I thought it was withdrawals (I had run out of benzos) I could hardly drag myself out of bed. Many trips to the bathroom Now I think it was a tummy bug in addition to the withdrawals (Papa bear now has the same symptoms).

We were going to celebrate Thanksgiving but didn't as I was sick and not hungry. And that is unusual for me

Too much time being bored and sick and too many negative thoughts.

Today is a bit better. I almost felt I was losing it the last couple of days. Running out of meds for two days hadn't caused that before. I did take seroquel for two nights and did not have a rash. So that's a positive!

LOVE to all

I hadn't seen this before now (Sunday afternoon here). I am so sorry to learn you've been unwell, Fuzzy. In my experience negative thoughts often accompany being physically sick. Is it possible you had a fever? It's great that the Seroquel didn't cause a rash. Love to you, too

~Christina · Nov 27, 2022, 06:15 PM

Brutal gusty day. Some 50-60 mph ! The dogs didn’t really want to go outside.

Steve’s boys are really wanting Steve to come down for Christmas apparently willing to get together to rent him a car. Since we just have this beater truck. Steve doesn’t want to go without me because he say “ it’s not fair my going” if YOU don’t go I won’t.

It doesnt matter what’s “ fair or not “ Here’s the reality. We have 3 dogs and no way to board them it’s so expensive. They would all 3 needs full shots as Dexter and Gus were due a while ago and now Maddie needs them all. Not sure how we will manage that expense anyway.

I told Steve to just accept the help from his boys in getting him down there. He can stay with one of them.

I’ll be perfectly fine here. I was last year when he was gone for 6 weeks when his Sister had the aneurysm and passed away.

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HALLIEBETH87 · Nov 27, 2022, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Watching TV. I think I can start working out again in the morning. I think the immediate care doctor said to give it a rest for a week. I listen to classical sleep music when I'm trying to fall asleep. It helps me fall asleep but not always stay asleep. Idk. Then theres just the healthy eating.

I do think I could benefit from a med increase though.

Yes a med increase could very well help but you may need to amp up some self care? I have anxiety everyday myself. I used to take Valium three times a day. I had to learn ways to manage my anxiety bc meds never got rid of all of it. Besides Valium and other Benzos are quickly losing popularity bc of their long term effects. I have gad and panic D/o so I’m not blowing smoke up your butt. I’m just trying to help. Meds are only 50% of the solution. Even with my meds I take now? I woke up to a panic attack today and had to self-regulate with coping skills. This would be a good topic for therapy.

Hope you feel better soon. Don’t just wait on meds-take your health into your own hands and tackle that anxiety with some self care.

*Beth* · Nov 27, 2022, 06:26 PM

I ordered a little bookshelf, white, for my bedroom. It was a terrific black Friday or cyber Monday or whatever deal. I kind-of enjoy assembling furniture, anyway. I'm looking for a little colorful crocheted basket to place on it and I already own a pretty Moroccan-style lamp.

I also purchased my holiday lights. I almost ordered a string of pink ones, then saw red/pink/white hearts. Yes, Valentine's theme, haha. But I'd like to keep them up (in my apartment) until mid- or late February, anyway. So the heart lights won out, plus they were also on a good sale.

I've traditionally loved to decorate porches when I've lived in houses; I always had a "theme." When I moved here I would decorate the windows of my apartment. But now all my outlets are being used for the mega-numbers of tech plugs for my elderly whatevers, so I've nowhere to plug in colored lights. I feel bad about it, for my neighbors' sakes. I could hang a lighted wreath on the door, as I've done in the past, but spending the $ is not appealing these days. Speaking of days, today turned out to be rather warm, after all!

MuddyBoots · Nov 27, 2022, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Aw, they are just darling @MuddyBoots What are their names?

The one on the left is Saco and the one on the right is Pemi. Named after rivers here

*Beth* · Nov 27, 2022, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Yes a med increase could very well help but you may need to amp up some self care? I have anxiety everyday myself. I used to take Valium three times a day. I had to learn ways to manage my anxiety bc meds never got rid of all of it. Besides Valium and other Benzos are quickly losing popularity bc of their long term effects. I have gad and panic D/o so I’m not blowing smoke up your butt. I’m just trying to help. Meds are only 50% of the solution. Even with my meds I take now? I woke up to a panic attack today and had to self-regulate with coping skills. This would be a good topic for therapy.

Hope you feel better soon. Don’t just wait on meds-take your health into your own hands and tackle that anxiety with some self care.

What if someone practices self-help techniques, truly uses them, and they help, say...about 25% out of 100%. And meds (consistent use) do help, but about 50%. So you're left with 25% of living with sheer hell (anxiety/panic). Then what?

Victoria'smom · Nov 27, 2022, 08:39 PM

So I think my parents have grown attached to my service dog. I don't know if I'm going to get her. My mom wants to keep her for another round of training her training finishes beginning of January. I feel like there's no nice time to bring this up. Certainly not now. I'm out of Abilify without any hope to get anymore until the move is complete and we get medical there. So yeah, there's that.

bizi · Nov 27, 2022, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I had a bizarre night. My sheet was sideways, my thin hemp blanket was on the floor, my top heavy knitted blanket was as it should be. But it’s got large holes in it so I was cold.

On top of that weird dreams where I was in a two story McDonald’s with hidden cupboards where everyone hung their clothes. I was finished and wanted to leave but couldn’t find my clothes. Then as I was leaving two really thick newspapers plopped on the floor one level down. They were mine but I had trouble reaching them and they were uncut $100 dollar bills. I got the first paper but before I could get to the second a cleaning lady reached it and was cutting up the bills. Then I was in a hotel, very fancy and ultra modern with my news paper full of $100 dollar bills. I was dressed in a lime green overall with neon pink shirt. Ugh 😩 what a weird dream oh yeah, at the McDonald’s they had gates for people to slip though, they were to keep overweight people out.

you have some kind of dreams!

bizi · Nov 27, 2022, 09:59 PM

MM- It sounds like a good dog. he is yours and what ever you have to do claim him as yours, then do it.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

HALLIEBETH87 · Nov 27, 2022, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

What if someone practices self-help techniques, truly uses them, and they help, say...about 25% out of 100%. And meds (consistent use) do help, but ab50%. So you're left with 25% of living with sheer hell (anxiety/panic). Then what?

Well what do you think? For me I’d fight like hell to get through it. Some times I give up. Sometimes I fight. It’s a hard thing and no two people are the same but statistically meds alone won’t cure you. It’s a combo of meds and coping skills that help.

otroo · Nov 27, 2022, 11:08 PM

Years ago from my different inpatient and out patient stays I learned coping skills but the weird thing was I did not use them right away. It was like after 3 or 4 years I just found myself using them.

Right now I am still suffering from grief but I have been having mania and between that and the grief is is a mixed episode from hell, and I am also rapid cycling. I got put on a small script of Ativan and I have to take one in the morning now and I try to not take anymore because my pdoc only gave me 10 cause I told her I was suffering from major suicidal ideations.

This sucks

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Victoria'smom · Nov 28, 2022, 01:02 AM

Yay for mixed episodes at your in laws house. Wtf, I have enough to deal with.

MuddyBoots · Nov 28, 2022, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

What if someone practices self-help techniques, truly uses them, and they help, say...about 25% out of 100%. And meds (consistent use) do help, but about 50%. So you're left with 25% of living with sheer hell (anxiety/panic). Then what?

"Distress tolerance skills" of course. Because that's what life is all about, distress tolerance...

unlived · Nov 28, 2022, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I didn't sleep good last night. I got about an hour of sleep after 11. I ate almost 3 full containers of tic tacs. Its a stress relief thing for me. I also had a couple Gatorades. So my stomach and anxiety wasn't the best. I've just had Project Runway on all day. I did improve the quality of my food and I've eaten decently since the tic tacs. I see my pdoc tommorow afternoon and I'm hoping he'll do something to help my anxiety. Although he has been pretty *****y lately and unwilling to help me since our last session. I'm just going to remain calm and stuff while talking to him. Also my first therapy session is on Thursday. I thought it was the week after. So I'll see how things go with this one. I wish things would just get like magically better. Idk. Maybe having a job really will help. I know it really helped me mentally, physically, and financially from 2016- late 2019. I just have to get up the courage to apply. This Walmart thing spooked me. But mainly I'm just procrastinating out of fear .

I'm just kind of all around anxious and kind of sad today. I miss my transference T and also my last T, and I don't think either can be replaced. Plus the 8 year anniversary of my dads death is on Tuesday. I hope my pdoc can do something for me and I hope he is in a decent mood.

Edit: eating with my meds sure makes a difference in how they work. I took my normal afternoon meds and ate a bowl of plain oatmeal, and I feel a lot better. I don't normally eat with my meds. I'm working on eating with them and also taking them at the same time.

I hated being on Geodon because you had to eat like 350(?) calories every time you took them for them to work properly. I was trying to lose weight and it didn’t fit in with my way of eating / lifestyle at all.

unlived · Nov 28, 2022, 07:43 AM

I’m in a compulsive spending episode and not sleeping much. Have spent thousands and I’m on disability. It’s all gone on buy now pay later schemes / cards and a credit card. Bought a new laptop, new iPhone (that was $1900 alone) new tablet, new smart clock, stuff for my car, stuff for the computer, stuff for the tablet, Christmas presents for my family, birthday presents for my mum and take away food and lots more stuff that I shouldn’t have but I NEEDED to buy right then and there…. I already have credit card debt from before this plus a couple of hundred debt from the pharmacy so this isn’t good…. I still have the need to spend and not sleep and making plans and don’t see my psychiatrist til February and don’t really want to make an earlier appointment.

Does anyone who takes saphris know if 20mg helps with hypo/mania stuff?

I’m on 15mg at the moment and have been doing good. I need to stop spending because it’s out of control.

It’s spring here and I think the change in weather has lifted my mood.

otroo · Nov 28, 2022, 09:00 AM

Well, I am trying to take a small step in my recovery. I got a job, and I am going to try my hand at working today. I am driving for doordash. I know it's not much, but it has been over 10 years since I last worked, and I am very nervous to try this. I can't survive on SSDI alone after my wife passed away.

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Nammu · Nov 28, 2022, 09:18 AM

Best of luck otroo

Nammu · Nov 28, 2022, 09:21 AM

I got a surprise birthday congratulations from the Red Cross this morning. My gift to me is going to my aqua fitness and ordering carrot cake 🧁 cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. It’s a beautiful day too. The high is 42F for here that’s quite good, plus the sun is shining.

Blue_Bird · Nov 28, 2022, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I got a surprise birthday congratulations from the Red Cross this morning. My gift to me is going to my aqua fitness and ordering carrot cake

cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. It’s a beautiful day too. The high is 42F for here that’s quite good, plus the sun is shining.

Happy birthday Nammu!!

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otroo · Nov 28, 2022, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I got a surprise birthday congratulations from the Red Cross this morning. My gift to me is going to my aqua fitness and ordering carrot cake

cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. It’s a beautiful day too. The high is 42F for here that’s quite good, plus the sun is shining.

Happy birthday

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Blue_Bird · Nov 28, 2022, 10:05 AM

I spent some time with my sister yesterday. She stopped by for a bit and saw the cats some then I went grocery shopping with her because she needed to get some stuff for a few recipes she was making. She enjoyed the chocolate chip pumpkin bread I baked for her. She said my apartment looks great and she can tell I’m doing a lot better on my meds with my mood and paranoia, and with general household upkeep than I was a few years ago. A few years ago I was a total trainwreck mentally and my apartment at the time was a mess too due to some depressive episodes where I’d go very long periods without cleaning.

I’m still working on dealing with my anxiety. Been exercising, meditating, getting out and socializing at different events and things, spending time with family/friends. I cut out caffeine entirely

Been playing with the cats everyday, making sure they burn off some energy and have fun

Looking forward to Christmas

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Blue_Bird · Nov 28, 2022, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo

Well, I am trying to take a small step in my recovery. I got a job, and I am going to try my hand at working today. I am driving for doordash. I know it's not much, but it has been over 10 years since I last worked, and I am very nervous to try this. I can't survive on SSDI alone after my wife passed away.

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Good luck with your job, I hope it goes well!

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Bipolar check-in #71

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