Bipolar check in #73

I am sorry! Hope this will not last for long!

Have had an early online session with my therapist. I was encouraged to go on with my life, back to my work hours and more, not hang myself up in diagnoses, just live my life to the fullest (in the ways that are possible for me), jump into life and use my tools when necessary and give myself credit for knowing how and when to use them.

Be sure I will!

Sun came out today! How nice since it snowed last night. Plus the temperatures are to be above 32F. So it should melt all the new snow and work on shrinking the snow pack.

Had. An excellent aqua fitness class this morning. I need to stop by the library and print out a label to return my shoes as they are too big. Then go to fitness class at 11:30. It’s so nice to have the sun to do these things.

I bought tulips last spring. Then when they died I cut off the stalks and put the bulbs in the garage. I just put them in some dirt and they are growing! Ohhh so cool. I hope they flower.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosi700 Have had an early online session with my therapist. I was encouraged to go on with my life, back to my work hours and more, not hang myself up in diagnoses, just live my life to the fullest (in the ways that are possible for me), jump into life and use my tools when necessary and give myself credit for knowing how and when to use them. Be sure I will!

Good for you! You're inspiring, Rosi

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Sun came out today! How nice since it snowed last night. Plus the temperatures are to be above 32F. So it should melt all the new snow and work on shrinking the snow pack. Had. An excellent aqua fitness class this morning. I need to stop by the library and print out a label to return my shoes as they are too big. Then go to fitness class at 11:30. It’s so nice to have the sun to do these things. I bought tulips last spring. Then when they died I cut off the stalks and put the bulbs in the garage. I just put them in some dirt and they are growing! Ohhh so cool. I hope they flower.

Sun, aqua fitness, tulips...they all sound absolutely wonderful! What color are the tulips?

Hello all, Weather Brat here, lol. Awoke to a gorgeously sunny blue sky, but it's all a dirty lie because the wind is gusting hard and the temperature right now is only 40 degrees. I'm sitting here shivering. Going back to sleep some more (hopefully).

Have no idea yet. It’s just green shoots at this point. I can’t remember color they were last spring.

@Nammu, I love stories like yours about the tulips. Spring has such lovely symbolism as well as sensory delights. Since it's been rather warm off and on where I am (in the 50s F a lot) we actually have tulip greens already coming up at our new property. White snowdrop flowers have even already started blooming here.

Today my husband and I finally took a hike to the top of the large hill that we see out the window, where we're currently staying. Attached, you can see both the view out our window from earlier this winter (snow) and the highest point on it, on which we stood today (no snow). The hill, roughly translated to "honey hill", is 417 meters (1368 feet) above sea level. Small, but proud.

I had a small emotional breakdown after dinner. I'm just so so impatient to get to a new life. Everything right now seems hard and unsatisfying. I've started to hate the place where we're temporarily living, even though it's not a bad place at all, as one can see in the photos. Food doesn't taste good, everything seems annoying and painful, I feel a sense of deprivation. I hope this all changes suddenly, when I can have my own things around me. I want to finally adopt a new pet, after almost three years since my loving macaw's passing. I want an herb garden again. I want to feel I'm in "our town" and the chance to meet people that we'll be around long enough to establish relationships with.

Oh, that’s lovely soupe! Yeah I understand where you are coming from. It’s like you’ve been in transition for over a yr now. Things are nice but not permanent or yours. I sure hope you can move in the end of this month. I now that’s what you were hoping for.

I’m okay for a 2:30am start to my day. Feel productive because I managed to unblock my bathroom sink that hasn’t been draining properly. I’m nervous for my lesson at the end of today. New topic on living standards that I’m teaching. I’ve got plenty of time to go over my lesson plan though.

I almost had to go to the ER this morning because I was in extreme stomach pain from constipation. I took some OTC stuff and a tylenol and got back to sleep until 5:30. And then. I couldnt stop going. All day. I didnt eat much today but everything I did eat and drink just went through me. I do feel a lot better though but I am worried about dehydration. My stomach still sounds like an angry cat. I napped most of the late morning to early afternoon. I don't know how long presiodone takes to get out of your system. My primary got back to me last night and he says my kidney function contiunes to remain poor but is stable. The high clouride is probably related to my kidney function. Its kinda discouraging to hear "your kidney function is poor" when I am only 30. Stupid lithium.

Trust your therapist, do what you know work well for you and give a da*n in what other people think about your ways of doing "things".

So do I (wish for you)!

My Emsam patches are set to be picked up by the hospital mail system tomorrow. I'm guessing I'll get them in about 10 days. It will be cutting it close but I should have them before I run out. I guess if I run out I run out.

My new klonopin dose at night is knocking me out. I'm glad it is only short-term but oh do I need it right now.


It's very nice here today. 71 and sunny. We went for a walk and set up our blue bird feeder. Then I took out the trash. So I got to enjoy some of this. I have windows open now and that's a good mood booster.

I recognize such feelings. To me, they come when I am overburdened or have skipped to follow my schedule.

May be you shall try to make a good plan for the moving, how to cope before they come to fetch the furniture and how to be able to slow down when the furniture arrives at the house and you are full of joy.

(Please don't think that I am trying to intrude in your way of doing things. I only suggest "things" from my own knowing of how things work for me in case that is something you can recognise in yourself. If what I wrote is not your style, please forget about it).

Wish you good luck in the waiting time!

I'm quite sorry. Pharmacy was only going to give me 3 days again but after an hour they figured out what they messed up. I need to change pharmacies.

Hi Rosi. I appreciate your suggestions. Any support and ideas are kind and helpful. Thank you.

You hit the nail on the head regarding being overburdened and off schedule. Truth is, living out of a suitcase, so to speak, is flat out hard. In our case, our furniture and other things are actually within walking-distance of our new house. Where we are temporarily living has the owner's stuff, which is kind of lacking. He even has large photos of his toddler son on two walls. Cute kid, but not mine. It will be six months total living in someone else's home.

Hoping your flowers bloom soon, too.

I’m
Waiting to see pdoc. Trying to decide what to tell hi
About feeling bugs crawling on me. Idk
How he
Will
React

Prednisone has a half-life of 2 to 4 hours. Kinda vague, but at least it's not more than a day. I'm sorry about your kidney function, that sounds cruel. @Mountaindewed

I was honest and told him
How I’m seeing glitter and feeling bugs crawl on me. He asked if it bothered me enough that I want any med changes and I said no. I’m not depressed or manic just seeing and feeling things. He’s an awesome dr.

In the several months I've been depressed I've been too flat emotionally to cry. Nthing has made me cry, including my cousin's death.



I just woke up from a dream where my beloved and long-gone grandmother was preparing to take one of her great-grandchildren to "West Paris". I don't know why "west" was important.

I didn't continue to cry after I woke up and I really didn't cry much but so strange that all these months and the thing that makes me cry is a perfectly normal dream.

A good cry would feel good. Maybe someday. I think I'm not crying in therapy becausei it's online as I can't drive with the sedation.


And now I need more of that sedation because I am wide awake wake too early (2:45 AM)

I think I have a cold. My nasal and sinus cavities are burning, I have a headache, and my throat has been extremely sore. Last night it even woke me up. I just took DayQuil and hope it helps.

I hope you have some relief from the depression soon

I hope you recover soon if it’s a cold

I’m sleeping poorly again so I know I’m almost completely back to normal versus sleeping 13-14 hours a day when I was ill. I only have a cough left which I researched and found out may last several days. Annoying but okay.

We had severe storms last night with a tornado watch. I think I didn’t sleep well because of my fear of a tornado. We’ve had 3 come within half a mile of the house in the past 10 years. The last one was a doozy and the power was out for days.

I am so very much behind in all of my responsibilities due to being sick for several weeks. I’m pacing myself so as not to relapse. I hope to get caught up in a relatively short time.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day and evening. Much love