Bipolar check in #73

That dream is interesting @BeyondtheRainbow. By your description, I can feel the intensity of it. You must miss your grandma. Was it West Paris as in the western part of Paris, France or was it the town in Maine (West Paris)?

Finally, a sunny day with no rain or wind. Tomorrow will be sunny, too, but rain will return on the week-end and hang around for days. Oh, well, I'll enjoy the sunshine today. Therapy session and (yay!) hair cut.

@Nammu and @BeyondtheRainbow, the 12th season of Call the Midwife premieres on March 19th

Had a bit of a bombshell at work yesterday. I'm being pulled back to working at one store on literally a day's notice. My boss found some new hires for a couple of my stores and the one she's sending me back too she wants me to turn around sales-wise (Dead last and then some!) That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't lose a workday in the process. (Payroll, expenses and scheduling are divided by stores rather than departments, so the more stores I work, the more hours I get.)

It's not the end of the world, but it is annoying.

My mood fluctuates between a 4-5 / 10. Getting there. I think decent sleep will help. I was looking back at some of my old posts here on msf through the years. Could definitely tell when I was a bit more hypo! I miss it.

I got a letter in the mail yesterday summoning me for jury duty. Going to get a letter tonight from my gp making me exempt. I just can’t face that right now. I’m sure he’ll be okay writing it he knows I’m depressed so it should be fine. I posted about it in my Facebook bipolar group and one lady said she just throws it in the bin and ignores it. I’m sure you can get a fine for that.

I send good hopes for the waiting time your way!

Ooooo can’t wait for call the midwife!!! Ooo looking forward to that.

Absolutely need to do clothes today, but putting it off. Such a dreary day. The snow is now dirty and the clouds covered the sun. I have a hearing aid appointment in 2 hours. Otherwise I’d throw the clothes in now. Ehh, not feeling it. I know, just cause you don’t “feel” it doesn’t mean you can’t do it. I did clean off my chair side stand. That looks so much better. Found 17 dollars! I don’t know I’m just both ennui and antsy. Part of me just want to stare at the wall and not move, the other part wants to go drive around in circles and spend money.

Dreams are not easy to understand, but since your great-grandmother wanted to give something (West Paris) to the youngest generation, it is probably a message from you to you about the kindness of your grandmother. (Chose your own interpretation. Often it is only the one who had the dream that is able to give some meaning to the dream).

I have been having a really challenging time with my bipolar 2 I am a day away from being 14 weeks pregnant with twins.
and I have been having one of hell of a morning with my morning sickness this morning I can't seem to keep anything down food-wise or medications.

and a very good portion of my medications I am off due to being pregnant I am literally waiting for a remote appointment to come in LITERALLY RIGHT NOW! with my psychiatrist.

the last time I spoke to him I had not intended on going through with this pregnancy but I realized a lot of my thoughts on the matter were coming from other people NOT myself on the subject so I made a hard decision and decided I wanted to keep my babies or at least try too.

Hope it won't last long!

i finally got an appt with a psychiatrist!!! very much looking forward to getting on the right combo of meds!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch My mood fluctuates between a 4-5 / 10. Getting there. I think decent sleep will help. I was looking back at some of my old posts here on msf through the years. Could definitely tell when I was a bit more hypo! I miss it. I got a letter in the mail yesterday summoning me for jury duty. Going to get a letter tonight from my gp making me exempt. I just can’t face that right now. I’m sure he’ll be okay writing it he knows I’m depressed so it should be fine. I posted about it in my Facebook bipolar group and one lady said she just throws it in the bin and ignores it. I’m sure you can get a fine for that.

I miss hypo, too. That's the hardest part of having BD for me.

UGH jury duty. I've started tossing my jury duty summons, too. I hope I never get arrested for it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Ooooo can’t wait for call the midwife!!! Ooo looking forward to that. Absolutely need to do clothes today, but putting it off. Such a dreary day. The snow is now dirty and the clouds covered the sun. I have a hearing aid appointment in 2 hours. Otherwise I’d throw the clothes in now. Ehh, not feeling it. I know, just cause you don’t “feel” it doesn’t mean you can’t do it. I did clean off my chair side stand. That looks so much better. Found 17 dollars! I don’t know I’m just both ennui and antsy. Part of me just want to stare at the wall and not move, the other part wants to go drive around in circles and spend money.

I know, I'm excited about CtM, too. Gosh, seems like March 19th was "so far away" - and here it is, almost here.


I'm sorry you have the annui/antsy feeling. I experience that more than I'd like to. Finding $17 is nice, though

My daughter and I have not been speaking to each other. I became tired of her self-centered ways. She reacted by telling me she does not want me with her children. So far it has been three months since we last spoken.

Hope you feel better soon!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That’s awesome hope your appointment goes well!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I hate being sedated. But my mind
Is calm

This pdoc is very laid back and didn’t react much when I told
Him I was seeing/feelings things

Quote:

Originally Posted by kala83 I have been having a really challenging time with my bipolar 2 I am a day away from being 14 weeks pregnant with twins. and I have been having one of hell of a morning with my morning sickness this morning I can't seem to keep anything down food-wise or medications. and a very good portion of my medications I am off due to being pregnant I am literally waiting for a remote appointment to come in LITERALLY RIGHT NOW! with my psychiatrist. the last time I spoke to him I had not intended on going through with this pregnancy but I realized a lot of my thoughts on the matter were coming from other people NOT myself on the subject so I made a hard decision and decided I wanted to keep my babies or at least try too.

Hi kala, it's nice to meet you

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I was pregnant with my first child, my daughter, way back in 1985. I was not married, very happy about having a baby, but in that time it was still quite taboo to be unmarried and pregnant. Never mind everyone else. Do what works for you and your babies. You may find that the 2nd trimester is easier. It often is (with regard to mental illness, something about hormones settling).

I had an apartment pre-inspection today in preparation for the city's code enforcement inspection next Tuesday. It went fine. They always make me nervous though, I always worry about my cats getting out so I try to stay home whenever there's an inspection

Have an appointment next Wednesday with a career readiness instructor to discuss some stuff and see if I want to take one of their career readiness workshops

Tomorrow evening I'm going to this new place that opened just today, down the street. It's described as a cafe/coffee bar/eatery/bite sized bookshops. I'm offered to take my sister there for her birthday since her birthday is on Sunday, so she is gonna pick me up tomorrow at 5pm and we're gonna go there. Looking forward to it, it looks like a really neat place.

I'm exhausted today, only slept 4 hours last night

Ooo, that sounds like the kind of place I’d like. Enjoy it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird ... Tomorrow evening I'm going to this new place that opened just today, down the street. It's described as a cafe/coffee bar/eatery/bite sized bookshops. I'm offered to take my sister there for her birthday since her birthday is on Sunday, so she is gonna pick me up tomorrow at 5pm and we're gonna go there. Looking forward to it, it looks like a really neat place. ...

I'm sorry you're tired. I share your agony, lol. I also slept only 4 hours. Hopefully, we can both make up for it tonight.


The cafe sounds sooo awesome, Birdie! I hope you love it there. Leaving my cafe job was so hard when I moved to this town, but then a coffeehouse opened within walking distance of my apartment. The place felt so good to me. Excellent espresso and seating inside and out. But, covid killed it and nothing has come along to replace it.

I hope we both get some good sleep tonight!

I love cafes , they’re such cozy places sorry your local one shut down

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My pdoc called in the refill for my gabapentin, so I'm good now.

I woke up at 2am and was able to sleep again at 430am. Pretty strange sleep pattern.

I'm making good use of the early morning time.

Been an awful day. I feel very low and sad today. I'm worried about where the next few weeks will take me. Please keep me in your thoughts. I may explain more at another time.

I love eclectic cafes too when my mood is high. There's one near my drop-in that serves an excellent vegan avocado toast. Really like that. The counter area is marble and i thought it was solid but the staff showed me that it lights up for when they open as a bar in the evening. It used to be a more funky casual place with all mis-matched kitchen furniture from the fifties and sixties and memorabilia decorating the walls. This old film projector always made me smile, thinking of home movies my dad used to make of us kids. How i laughed and laughed like a hyena watching those films!

Feeling brighter today! I walked again today for the longest time this year so far. It was another mild Winter day with the sun struggling to come out. I don't mind the mild Winter days like this. I went to my ZOOM support group. It was nice to "see" everyone. Had some stellar Scrabble games today, it was like i could do no wrong!

@*Beth*:

I heard your suggestion about changing-up my meds. But the last two times i changed-up my meds i got (hypo)manic. This most recent time was devastatingly expensive with an appalling online shopping spree. So i am very reluctant. My doctor and i talked about trying a light-box as an alternative to an anti-depressant but there were obstacles to getting one and it's so late in the season i'm going to delay it til next Winter.

@Brentus:

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

I am very sorry you have had an awful day......
we are here to listen when ever you feel like
sharing some of what is making you sad.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi