Bipolar check in #73

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Originally Posted by Brentus Been an awful day. I feel very low and sad today. I'm worried about where the next few weeks will take me. Please keep me in your thoughts. I may explain more at another time.

I'm so sorry, Brentus. You are certainly in my thoughts

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Originally Posted by ronkuby i finally got an appt with a psychiatrist!!! very much looking forward to getting on the right combo of meds!!!!

Excellent! When is your appointment?

My nose cold is still miserable. I felt so unwell last night that I had to skip my class. I even slept on the couch to avoid passing it on to Hubby. No clue where I got the stinking cold.


I don't plan to do much today other than look for things for my house. Hubby has been struggling to get more info on exterior doors. I've been looking for curtains/blinds for the house. I sent him a number to look at, but he hasn't. Curtains are almost important as the doors, as when we move in there will be workers doing work on the house exterior. Plus, we'll likely need most of them shortened by a seamstress. That doesn't happen overnight.

I've felt sluggish and weighed down since I stopped the Presidonde. Both physically and mentally. My stomach and head hurts but I'm also very anxious and I have been up most of the night because I couldn't get comfortable and I'm frustrated as a result. I'm alternating between being hot and cold very fast. Like one minute I'll have all my blankets and a hoodie on and then the next I won't even have my T shirt on because I'm so hot

I ordered some cheese yesterday from a store in Michigan. I ordered plain chocolate cheese, mint chocolate cheese, and peanut butter chocolate cheese. I wonder how it will be.

I haven't taken a shower since Monday and today is the day I get my monthly blood work for my blood doctor. But I may wait on the blood work.

march 20

@Brentus thinking of you today. keep your chin up!!!

We’re having possible tornadoes and very strong winds today. So much so our governor called it state of emergency

I want to go IP but I don't know why. I just don't feel good today. I took a shower and a half hour nap but I haven't gotten out of bed much. I ate pretty healthy. But I just don't feel good. I think an IP would probably turn me away though since I'm not in danger and I haven't done anything or feel S. I just don't feel right for some reason. Currently my face is halfway planted in my pillow and I'm lying on my stomach typing this with my thumb.

So I'm getting really sick on my meds. Pdoc wants me to try and stick it out for a month. If I need a sooner appointment to call. She's setting me up with a therapist. I really hate the idea of being sick so long. The only other option is to try other meds and I don't want to do that either. She said I'll have to go up on the AD but not until I stop being sick. I hate SZA. I'm so done with this ****.

Was #8 on the wait list but I got in to aqua fitness!

Then my sisters were here for signing insurance papers and then doing the thank yous. I thought it went fast but gosh, it was 4pm when we finished! Still it went well. My older sister comes back Monday for the lawyer appointment. We will begin going though mum’s bedroom then to sort stuff and set the room up to put stuff for the garage sale.

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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom So I'm getting really sick on my meds. Pdoc wants me to try and stick it out for a month. If I need a sooner appointment to call. She's setting me up with a therapist. I really hate the idea of being sick so long. The only other option is to try other meds and I don't want to do that either. She said I'll have to go up on the AD but not until I stop being sick. I hate SZA. I'm so done with this ****.

That sounds miserable. If it's nausea, ginger - sip ginger tea, suck on candied ginger. I was so damned sick from the Prozac and ginger absolutely stopped the nausea and heartburn.

Two nice, sunny days but clouds are moving in and there will be more chilly rain. I went to the grocery store, then to a bank to open a checking account. I don't like dealing with banks, but I need a checking account for veterinary stuff.

I had a tremendously powerful therapy session yesterday, then went for a hair cut. I never can tell, really, how my hair is cut until I wash and style it myself.

I so want a divorce, but finances are a huge issue. David died to me this winter. Something happened, and I just had enough. I cringe at the overuse of the word "narcissist," but David truly is one. Massive ego and I honestly cannot say I've ever seen him truly empathize with any living being; he just says the words he thinks sound good. It's repulsive.

Speaking of horrors, that Alex Murdaugh case is one.

My work schedule for the coming week is officially "I dunno." My boss called after work yesterday, saying her new hires didn't work out and I would be heading back the the other stores. Had the schedule and everything. At least until today when I called to clarify and she wasn't sure about the schedule anymore. Where I'm going to be, what shifts, even how many days I'll be working a week. Chaos!

@*Beth* can you get a case manager to get you plugged into services in your area? I know it'll be financially harder but it often sounds like financial abuse.

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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom @*Beth* can you get a case manager to get you plugged into services in your area? I know it'll be financially harder but it often sounds like financial abuse.

It IS financial abuse. He and his effing sister refuse to allow me access to ANY financial information. They have to approve everything I spend money on. It's sick of them, it's sick that I allow myself to be in this position and I do not want to be sick like this anymore.

Thank you, Mm. Your post means a lot to me. I wonder if my t knows how I could get hooked up with a case manager...I will definitely ask her.

Cold, dull, unpleasant day. Guess my good day yesterday was just a fluke.

@Soupe du jour:

Sorry to hear about your nose cold. It's very considerate of you to have slept on the sofa to protect your hubby. I understand your concern about window coverings. It's so uncomfortable to be in a new place and be exposed. What about temporary solutions like nailing up sheets or shower curtains over the windows?

@*Beth*:

That sounds dreadful, about your husband and sister-in-law being in charge of your finances. Good luck getting out from under that, and soon!

@Nammu:

Good for you for getting to aqua fitness and to the tasks re your mom's passing. You really seem to be holding up well!

I’m sorry your yesterday seemed a fluke.

Thank you. The last 6 months were hard for her. She often said she wished to die already. Especially as her vision was really bothering her and not being able to enjoy her books and word puzzles. I think it was preparation for both of us. When the doctor mentioned hospice to her I could just see the relaxation in her face and acceptance. She was ready to let go.

Omg what a nerve wracking day.

Vicious storms moved in winds 25-30 and gusts into 60-80’s !!!!

Literally thought our home was going to be destroyed. Power was out for hours. Lost a tree in the pasture so have to get out the chainsaw.

I hope everyone was safe if they were in the path of this monster

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Those storms omg we had wind gusts up to 79mph! My mom had a car accident during it and I had to go find her. She was down off the road almost in a creek. I beat the cops there and they eventually got her out. It was a huge crazy ordeal and she walked
Away with a broken rib and a totaled car.

This week
Has been too much for me.

I thought I had recovered from flu and pneumonia anyway. I never lost the cough although I did exactly as directed. The chest infection has come back unfortunately. The doctor is pushing a stronger antibiotic, more rest and more fluids.

I’m meeting my daughter tomorrow for breakfast. Looking forward to seeing her. We are going to be making plans for the family reunion this summer and for using the vacation package I have to New Orleans or Las Vegas (haven’t decided on which one yet).

Much wind yesterday - thankfully no damage beside power outage.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day and evening. Much love

Oh gosh, I’m glad she escaped with relatively minor damage. Of course a cracked rib isn’t nothing.

Got the thank yous to the post office and picked up my milk. Groceries cost me $16 for the week. I’m trying to clean out the freezer and pantry. So all I got was a quarter pound deli meat, soy milk, a ready to eat meal and two bananas and one apple. The refrigerator looks empty but has plenty for me for the next week.

The weather was bad yesterday. I may have just been feeling off because of it. I'm not sure. I fell asleep before 4 and I slept decently. I lost 4 pounds overnight which means I'm at the lowest weight I've been at in a few weeks. I had lost a couple pounds last week too. People say vitamin D pills can be a game changer when it comes to weight loss if your level is low.

Today I feel decent. My mom is kinda crabby and is taking it out on me. I ordered a Squishmallow from 5 Below. My therapist asked if I had one and said they were good for sensory relief. I'm not quite sure what they are. It seems just like some stuffed toy you squish. Idk.

I had enough stars for a free coffee from Starbucks. So I ordered one online and when I went to pick it up they said they couldn't make it that certain way, but they could make it this certain way, and they would give me a $4 gift card too. That was nice of them.

Overall today, I guess I'm just tired mainly. I'm trying to find flavored Peeps. I ordered fruit punch ones when I was putting in my 5 Below order, but I still have some more flavors to find. Today is my nephews game day so my mom and brother will be out all day doing stuff they said they would look for some.

I'm glad I'm not one of those Ozempic kings or queens though. I have enough to deal with on my own with my own at times extreme willpower. Currently I'm kinda hungry but also not. Maybe I just need a nap.

My room makes me feel weird and I don't know why. I'm right next to the litter box. We did get new litter by mistake recently. I'm going to see if the store has a Yankee Candle clean cotton scent cup for my wax melter thing. Maybe that will help. I think though I may just have a crappy immune system from my kidney issues. I just always seem to feel unwell these days.

Luckily we bought some of the old cat litter again. So I'm hoping my cough and stuff goes away once we switch back.

the last few days have still been a bit up and down for me. it super does not help my situation that I got into a car accident a little over a week ago and I still have yet to get my vehicle back.
I was technically supposed to ge it back this week as of Thursday or Friday but the part that is very hard to find since my car is 2002 came in on Thursday and apparently whoever shipped it to them BROKE the piece. I checked with the shop today since they were open til 3 pm today. And they told me the part should in theory be ordered and gotten in hopefully by this Monday or Tuesday. Much of everything with my mental health has not been great cause I am dealing with being a first-time single mom...and getting through the major hurdles of my first trimester with two boy twins. I go in to see my High-Risk pregnancy specialist this week on Thursday bright and early at 8 am.

it might be a lot to undertake but I am also considering switching the provider I use for therapy and psychiatric services in my town. This has nothing to do with that I don't like the therapist I have right now or the psychiatrist either. This has a lot more to do with that where I get my services, as of right now. They used to provide group therapy there as well and things did shut down quite a bit due to COVID but there is a place in town that offers counseling, psychiatrist work, and group therapy including DBT which I have done before in the past and I really think doing it again would benefit me.
I would have to go to their location and do a walk-in assessment to speak to someone about getting started with the process, but I could also keep using my Pyshtraist and counselor I have now up until when I get assigned with the new place.

@kala83, I hope you get your car back soon. At least, I'm assuming, you didn't get hurt from the crash. It would be great if you find the best mental healthcare team. With two more babies coming, and already a single mom, you need qualiity support. Hugs

@Sunflower123, do take care of yourself and rest. We certainly want you to fully recover from your recent illness soon.