Bipolar check in #73

We hit 1000 on the old thread!

I linked this post on the last one. Thanks for starting this one!

Thanks for linking it. Never learned how to do that on the iPad.

Shiny new thread with that new thread smell

Mexico and the resort are very nice. The weather is great and the food is good too! We just got back from an excursion to the Mayan ruins and some natural beauty. This is one off my bucket list.

Although I'm surrounded by beauty and amazing things and people I'm still feeling low. This is really persistent. The sun is nice the weather is nice the people are nice and I can appreciate these things intellectually but I see it all as grey.

I hate my 🌆 . I'm paranoid around people exspecailly large groups. I'm skipping my med tonight taking 1/2 med tomorrow then skip a day then 1/4, then skip two days then the last little bit. I'm going to wait until I see my PCP the 21st. I want something that's not prior authorization, that's not hospital pharmacy and just something I can take and be okay.

Other news because I moved states I have to do an SSI review. Which scares the hell out of me. What if they take it away? I won't be able to survive. I have to call Friday for an appointment. This move has so not gone smoothly for me.

I just need good news. I'm done with all this BS. I'm hoping the review is positive and I keep my disability. Now that I know every time you move states there's a review, I'm stuck here no matter how much I hate it. H talks about us moving to the outskirts but that isn't going to help there's still gobs of people everywhere. Loud, people who walk all around you and no space.id rather stay in bed then deal with this city.

New thread smell I've been in a similar situation, @Scooter9, and I really feel for you. I remember paying quite a bit to be somewhere, sitting in a chair, everything around me was excellent, and all I could think about was how I felt I was dying and wanted to be home...except home offered no respite, either.

That said, I also recall emerging from that dark place, looking back on having sat in that chair with my miserable thoughts, and thinking Wow. I'm not in that horrible place now- which felt amazing.

It sounds like you're able to enjoy, to a degree. I hope so...even a little bit is big.

@Miguel'smom, would you ever consider seeing a homeopath? Especially since you're in a city. I have friends who have had excellent experiences with homeopathy, especially when they didn't want to go the medication route.

Just having a challenging week. The end of last week, and the week-end, were so good, I felt good. But this week has been odd. Things are just off. The moon transits into Libra tomorrow morning, so subconscious energies will hopefully be more in balance.

I just ate a piece of ice cream birthday cake and drank a 16oz can of Mountain Dew for breakfast and then I wonder why I think I'm malnourised and stuff. My therapist told me weight doesn't mean anything when it comes to being healthy or unhealthy and anyone can be malnourised. Thats where the poodle healthy at any size thing comes in.

I was just reading a transphobic comment the other night someone made about a trans dude and it got me wondering about myself. I've been told before by someone I'm too small to be a guy even though no one has ever said anything to me before and a trans woman I knew said I did pass and she said if I didn't someone would have said something by now.

My therapist says I need to work on a more balanced diet and follow my hunger cues and drink more water.

Hello, I have an undiagnosed bipolar disorder (Bipolar NOS) with not too big «highs» (still very uncomfortable when they «enter»), but mostly depression. I need a place to get support and to give support to others. For the time being there is little activity in the «daily thread» in the depression forum. That is why I come here - to have continuity. I am an elderly person, living alone («the better half» passed away some years ago). I have children and grandchildren, but not living close to me.

I have learned myself to «pick and choose» from different therapeutic traditions and have made my own program for staying stable with these different «tools». That works for me and that is good. It is I that need to feel better ... Different roads leads to different results for different people ...

For the time being I am stuck in depression. I have tried and tried since the end of December to get my life so balanced that I feel well enough to live a meaningful life. A person made fun of some of the «ingredients» I use in the homemade program I need so much. That made my depression worse. I am still struggling.

@Rosi700 welcome! after all this time you know what works best for you. try not to let others bring you down. easier said than done, i know...

Rosi700 I hope you find what you’re searching for here. Many 60 and ups here, and many diagnoses here.

Hi @Rosi700, nice to meet you.

My sleep is crap. Got up at 2:00am. Just listening to music on YouTube. Not much else to do at this hour.

Have a great day everyone.

Hey Everyone,

Been a long time since I've been around, this place was my safe space for a very long time.

My mood is okay, slept for almost 10 hours but am still very tired. Here at the rehab, I'm in working a job that has no meaning, unsure of what I am going to do with the rest of my life. Just one of those days I guess. SO much has happened in my life the past two years, I just want to be free.

welcome back! life is hard, but it is also long. it can be hard to see through the muck. and i know how hard it can be to push through it. just get through today!

I do not feel up to go to work. But we are very short people at work. I have no heat. So I will get into that cold shower and wash up. I am having problems with my left leg. My pelvis broke in two places right next to where the hip joint is. Sometimes that area hurts allot until my leg “snaps” back into place. Not good. I told my daughter that I do not want to talk with her after what she has done by demonstrating to have no value in my well-being. She just simply does not care. I forgot about my pdoc appointment for today. I now work times that conflict with my appointment. So I changed it to next week. My first couple weeks back at work have gone OK. I sometimes do not like being there. But I am making more money to put into my bank account, Also, what would I be doing at home anyway? Being bored while watching TV. I did my taxes a couple days ago, If my calculated refunds are correct, I am getting money back, more than I have in the past. I do not know what has changed this time around.

@Rosi700: Welcome to the Bipolar support forum!

I’m sorry Tucson.

Doing alright, but a bit bored. The weather is really nice today. I may go for a walk.

Thanks Beth.

We visited the Mayan temples yesterday and a Mayan shaman did a prayer for us that's supposed to help realign the mind, spirit, and body. He also blessed some handicrafts that we bought from the village.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9 Thanks Beth. We visited the Mayan temples yesterday and a Mayan shaman did a prayer for us that's supposed to help realign the mind, spirit, and body. He also blessed some handicrafts that we bought from the village.

You're welcome, and that sounds amazing.

The clinic where I have all my medical care (and therapy) is on a Native Indian reservation. The energy there is strong, and wonderful.

Brightest blessings!

Thank you for your welcome greetings, ronkuby, Nammu, Beth and Tuckson!

Well today was sad. The doctor talked to mum about hospice care. My sister said they have everything you need on loan and that’s what her sister in law had. It was nice. So we’re going to start thinking about that.

i am struggling very much with thoughts of an ex-lover that i had an affair with. it was a very short (one month) affair, but extremely intense. it was as emotional as it was physical - we were ex-coworkers that always seemingly had a connection but had never met (both working remotely). but i had an episode and her and i started messaging and it progressed veeeeery quickly (within 3 days i was making plans to leave my wife and had moved out of my house and got an apartment). we made all sorts of plans and had some incredible sex and also had a really wonderful, strong, and real connection. i do believe that we did somehow fall in love that quickly. but as my episode waned i realized the damage i was causing to my wife and our kids and i broke it off and also broke my lease and moved back home. obv this was devastating to eveyrone around me for different reasons.

i still think of her almost every day, and even though i love my wife i still daydream about a life with this other woman. occasionally we will exchange very brief emails that just say "missing you" or some such. sometimes i want to be with her so badly it hurts.

that is so hard. i'm sorry your family is going through that.

I'm wondering how much longer I can hang on by myself before I need to go to the doctors. I am beyond exhausted. I haven't showered in 3 days due to fatigue and lack of energy. My legs feel like they are going to give out on me and my arms feel really weak too. Yesterday my blood pressure was 105. I'm super nauseated if I don't eat. If I do eat I don't feel better much either. I have a sunken look in my eyes like I'm constantly hungover. My mom is getting my zofran which I swear is all I need. But I didn't know lacking vitamin D would be kicking my *** this badly.

I feel kinda better now after a tylenol. As long as I don't move at all too.

Edit: I got my zofran a couple hours ago and my nausea is gone. I'm still exhausted and my legs still feel kinda weird but at least my stomach is under control and I was on the verge of crying because I was in so much pain.