Bipolar Check-in #74

This morning I went on an over mile walk with my mom and my Niece who was in a stroller. It was nice. I had therapy but I got suddenly very hungry on the way so I stopped at a gas station to grab a protein shake. I chugged it and it made me nauseated. Therapy was decent but she was really focused on food today and I totally forgot to tell her about my uncles girlfriend who is still in the ICU and on oxygen but is thankfully off the ventilator.

Right now I'm just drained of energy and am in bed watching CNN as normal.

Last night was my third straight night of sh!tty sleep. I take my meds and go to bed early, but then start waking up at 2:00am. I feel i'm still getting over my stomach upset of the weekend. My intestines hurt from vomiting so much. I'm eating some more normal food tho, so it's improving. Guess it'll be a couple days more.

In good news, my drop-in has removed the mask mandate, so i can go again once i feel well enough. I hate the masks! So uncomfortable!

Good to see you @MuddyBoots

Sorry. My mother LOVES her independent living residence. They have coin op washers and dryers too. Her monthly payment is $1,950 (Canadian) per month but includes 3 meals a day. Average rent for a 1-bedroom apartment in that neighborhood is $1,700 a month, so it's a really good deal. Her suite includes a patio, kitchenette and bathroom.

They don't supply everything, like toilet paper or shampoo. It's my understanding that's usually the case for independent living, whereas a care facility supplies everything but costs a lot more. They have a "tuck shop" within the residence that sells things like snacks and toiletries. They also have a little hairdressing salon, gym, and library!

I forgot to add that the price includes 24 hour security and monitoring (they have a wristband with a button they can press in case of emergency)

Samicat your mum’s place sounds nice. This place provides one meal but it costs extra. They do have a beauty shop and a room to play cards in.

@Nammu just wanted to add good luck with the seniors' advocate tomorrow. There are really a ton of options out there for seniors so try not to worry. I'm in Canada, and here there are so many apartments run by various organizations like the Lions, Masons, Christian groups and so on. Hopefully the advocate will have a comprehensive list for you.

Glad you're back @MuddyBoots! I think I understand the feeling you're having, post hospitalization. I remember thinking something similar after many of mine.

@Nammu, I hope you find a much nicer supportive living community to consider. You deserve a comfortable environment. I'm sure such a transition so soon after your loss will be difficult.

My brother is being transferred from the hospital to an inpatient rehabilitation facility, where they'll help him hopefully get back to getting around better. Right now it's even too hard for him to get to the bathroom, sometimes, let alone manage other ADLs. Afterwards, the plan is for him to return to our late dad's house, where he's been living for around 15 years. With Dad gone, there are a lot of questions about his property and house. My sister and I agree that our brother should return to the house, but there will come a time when the property will need to be dealt with...inheritance stuff. If my brother beats the cancer, he will likely want to stay on part as his. My sister also wants some (or all) of the property, as it borders hers. They'd have to buy me out, as I don't have an eye on returning there.

Yesterday we managed to get some crucial things set up in our house. For the first time here, last night we ate a meal at our own dining room table. The day before we ate at our coffee table. The two days before that, our "tables" were a cooler and step ladder. We borrowed some dining chairs because when we found ours, in storage, they had inches of mold spores on them. Before that, we sat on our sofa to eat. We power washed our chairs, but I'm skeptical that they are really safe enough to use. The seats are woven rope types. Right now they are drying in our utility room, with the heat cranked up.

Oh ToM I hope your brother pulls though. Sounds like quite the up hill battle for him. Yeah inheritance can be tricky.

Ohh tough luck about the chairs. But yay to finally eating on a real table! I imagine it will be some time before everything is done and the house becomes a home.

Volunteer job went well today. It was my first day on my own. Was kinda chaotic, there were like 9 cats today. I did my best with cleaning their litterboxes, cages, gave them all fresh food and water etc. All of them were so sweet. I'm really tired. I woke up at 2:30am and have been up ever since. I'm going to the movie theater with my friend tonight. Going to come home and hopefully go straight to sleep. I kind of dissociated/panicked on the bus ride home from the pet place today. Like really badly. I don't know if it was from lack of sleep or what. I'm sure that doesn't help. I can't wait to go to bed tonight

Two of the cats were loose in the room when I went in today, so I guess whoever had yesterday's evening shift accidentally left their cages open or didn't close them properly. Anyway, all the kitties are super sweet and I love meeting them and playing with them. One of therm was named MadMadigator or something along those lines, I forget the exact spelling but it was something like that. It's funny seeing the different names of the cats there, there are some very unique ones that come in.

Blue bird Oh, ha ha 😂 that sounds like a pretty cool name for a cat! 😂 yeah I love seeing what the cats names are, so many varieties.

I’m sorry about the bus trip home. Hopefully you have a great rest of the day and sleep well tonight.

Christina

I wish I had more of the equivalent of xanax. Grrr

Thank you!

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Sorry for not being caught up on here, I’ve had a busy few days , I will be sure to catch up with you all tomorrow after I get a good night of sleep. Just want to let you all know I care about you all and hugs to everyone here

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That sounds awesome. I love kitties and have two. Love all animals basically but kitties are my favourites.

Advice for painting: See the color painted on your wall, not just a swatch, before buying a big can. We went and got another can for the darker color because we didn't like how dark and orange it is. So we got a lighter "gold" but on the wall it basically looks like mid-range foundation makeup color. So, we won't be using either of the darker colors. We decided to use the lighter yellow/beige for the whole room. If we don't have quite enough paint, there's a can the previous owner left of a light almondy color that we can paint the far wall with.

Honestly I think our plan of using two colors wasn't a good idea anyway, given that we have white crown & side molding and baseboards. I think the white/cream baseboards will look better with just the yellow.

We will look for a charity that might want the paint. Else will bring it to the recycling depot. That was an expensive lesson as we wasted $100.

I'm feeling pretty stressed out. We couldn't really afford to lose $100 on the paint. But my husband is trying to stop drinking (he usually has 3 beers a night which is costing a lot) so if he manages it, it will save us at least $100. He isn't the type who can just have a beer once in a while. If it's there, he will drink it, so we currently have none. He also has a few tokes every evening but does not abuse it or appear high.

Other than that, I'm still feeling depressed about my friend's death and haven't done any fiction writing. I need to get started again.

My appointment with the specialist is next week to talk about my colon. Yay.... My brother has rectal cancer and my mother had a cancerous polyp removed so I definitely have a family history. But I had a colonoscopy less than two years ago so hope it's nothing.

I'm hoping my house will be ok from the possible tornados. I'm at a pretty good risk for a decent size one. Today I'm so tired again and I've had so much caffeine which hasn't helped. I'm not anxious from the caffeine though. I dragged myself to my 1 month blood test this morning. They are so nice and everyone knows me there. Which may not be that good, but at least they are nice.

Mainly today I'm just a bit worried about the storms and feeling very drowsy again even though nothing has changed.

today has dragged on. im sleepy, grumpy and hugnry and just wanna go home.

I woke up at 4:45. That’s okay I guess. Better than 2:00am.

My 4 year old son woke up at 5:00 because he fell out of bed. I’m going to have to put a guard rail up on the side of his bed.

Today is my last day at work before the 2 week Easter break. Tomorrow is a work from home day for parent teacher interviews. Strangely no one has booked in with me. I have only one class that I teach but I still thought I’d see one or two parents … leaves me time for marking an assignment that students submitted and I can also do some lesson planning for after the holidays.

Still got lots of boxes to unpack since the move. I’m looking for my son’s birth certificate that’s been packed who knows where because the primary school needs it for enrolment. I’m going to have to look for it during the holidays.

I’m not enjoying my job at all. I’ve literally been counting down the minutes the last few days. Each day at work is just dragging by. Going so slowly. Ughhh.

Speaking to the senior advocate might be useful. She calle a couple places to see if she can move me up on the list.

Still not feeling 100% from my stomach upset over the weekend. I did sleep better last night. I woke up a couple times but it was still better. I'm having trouble regulating my temperature, feeling hot and clammy.

I guess this is so hard to tolerate because i usually comfort myself with food, and i can't do that now. I know i'm just complaining. I've gotten over stomach upsets before, i just never had it with insomnia as well.

Gah, i feel wretched!

Nammu

It took 51 years but I 'discovered' a book, published in 1972, about life that's a really good read for me.

The book is "The lives of a cell" and it's primarily about cell biology but the author has a nice style of writing. He talks about other aspects of life but the language is rather technical. I think it's good because of how the author writes and what he writes about.

In one long passage, he writes about the sounds that animals make. He essentially said that it's not likely that birds, whales, and even earthworms make sound to not only say that they are present, and to convey information about predators, but also to just make sound for the pure pleasure of it.

The passage is pretty long but I like the message he tries to convey and does a good job of it. I'm glad I put the time into reading this book, it's really illuminating despite it's age in the fast changing field of science.

Here's a quote about disease, "Disease usually results from inconclusive negotiations for symbiosis, an overstepping of the line by one side or the other, a biologic misinterpretation of borders."

My mood is still down and I had another really strange night. Lots of really strange dreams and waking up.

I made the appointment with my pdoc, I didn't forget this time. It's at the end of the month. Hopefully things go reasonably well until then.

I hope your Brother does well and can get back home and able to manage living on his own again. The splitting of homes and income after someone passes is very stressful.

Congrats on your own dining table. Hope the chairs can be saved ! We had friends that had to store furniture while having a house built and very few things survived the storage time.

Hope all your other belongings are in good shape !

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