Bipolar Check-in #74

and at @JaneOnceMore


I'm worried about spring mania too. Especially when I start waking in the middle of the night.

I adore meteor showers. Shooting stars just reach a place of quiet wonder in my mind.

@HALLIEBETH87


Hope the hair went well. I'm going to attempt coloring my own tomorrow.

I recommend getting a pill organizer for your meds and setting an alarm on your phone. That's what I do. It's so important to take them as prescribed..

Thank you so much! It gladdened my heart that you wished me a good time. The winter has been so hard, so it's good to be here now!

I feel so sorry for you to have to go through this, two deaths at short time. In the middle of all this may be it will be good for you, in some way, to come back to America and let it all sink inn before the funerals. Thinking on you!

Thanks, Rosi! Yes, perhaps it will help with the grieving process going back. Of course we want to attend the funeral service(s). Right now we're unsure if my brother's funeral will take place when our father's is. Or what will happen with that one. There is an extra stress-inducing factor relating to our brother and our brother's estate. Very complex!

I am staying in the US for a good bit to help my sister with a myriad of things. It's not a simple situation and there will be a lot of work to do. My husband will help with many things, too.

I already packed all of the medications I will need for the trip. Tomorrow I have a nephrologist appointment in the afternoon and need to go to the pharmacy. It made no sense to cancel it, given some circumstances. I did reschedule my psychiatrist and gynecologist appointments. When I return, I'll have them and then also an endocrinologist appointment. No rest for the weary!

I am sorry!

You have too much to think about. I hope that more clarity will come when you are back in the US.

I woke up at 1AM and I ate a bowl of those little star pastas and a pretzel roll and then I fell back asleep from 4 until 7:30. I had a hard time pulling myself out of bed and it feels like an octopus is sitting in my stomach and it feels like stuff is getting stuck in my throat when I swallow, even water. I am glad I got that gastro appointment for tommorow. I am just tired today and I am legit not hungry today either. I'm not restricting. My mom gave me a super hard time about food last night. My sister and brother in law are really going to be wearing her out with watching the kids all next week yet she gets mad at me because I don't like eating steak anymore. Idk. I think shes just overwhelmed. She even admitted my sister and bil are asking a lot of her.

I feel like I should be doing stuff but its not like anyone else in my house is busy. I'm zoned out in front of the TV. My mom is zoned out in the other room watching HGTV. My brother is still sleeping. Next week is very busy anyways

I took a 45 minute nap. I'm still exhausted. Tums aren't working. I've had 7. Everything I eat gives me massive heartburn. I'm below both my food and water goal. I just want to sleep the rest of the day.

I will be thinking of you soupe, safe travels.
bizi

Ugh. Could not get back to sleep last night and had 2 hours of bowel cramps - the first time this has happened in 6 weeks. No idea what upset my stomach.

Sorry for the novel about my relations but I realized I am really upset at the thought of them moving far away. Yet they are also considering our current city. Fingers crossed.


Just goes to show how different people are. I can't imagine not wanting to go out and take classes, join groups and volunteer etc. I've always done these things. In my new city I've met a dozen people in the last few months through Meetups.
But I guess since I spend so much time by myself writing, it's important for me to interact with people.

Samicat I understand why you can’t wrap your mind around their moving from what seems ideal. I too would be at that center all the time. The one I belong to doesn’t have much but I go weekly any way. Tomorrow is a painting class. I agree getting out and socializing is important. Anyway, if they do move I hope it’s to your city.

I really really don't want to go to the ER tonight. But my heartburn was so bad it was affecting my throat and chest and neck and breathing. My mom went and got me some more pepcid which has been the only thing lately that has been helping . It seems to be helping somewhat and my cough is going away. I keep throwing up in my mouth though and I still have the sore throat. My mom also picked me up an at home UTI test and I can't read the results. They are different then the test I took 2 weeks ago which was normal. I do know this kind of heartburn is not normal. But hopefully I can sleep through the night, or at least decently, and make it until my appointment tommorow afternoon.

Dang it got Chilly and Damp over night. Dreary day so I’m back in sweat pants which I had just put them all away.. spring in Tennessee

Maybe an hour of sleep last night so I’m feeling “ meh” but I no longer stress myself over lack of sleep for a few days ( I use too ) I know that I’m going to sleep when I sleep.

My heads “getting loud “ it’s like there is a huge crowd of people behind me and they are mumbling. I dunno if that makes sense. It’s hard to explain. I just hope it doesn’t get to the point I start hearing words. Bad sign for me. Here’s hoping I can get through spring without a big mood shift.

Hope everyone is doing well and the week starts out great

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I do know what you mean about the loud crowd mumbling. For me that comes with increasing intolerance for light,…and then the noise becomes like an echo chamber. I hope you can get though spring too. You and Steve have delt with way too much lately.

I hope you manage to get through spring without a big moodshift @~Christina

That’s a great way of describing it @Nammu , an echo chamber. I hope you’re not experiencing that though!

I have managed to do a few things to pick my mood up. I did this Tai Chi/Qi gong online class. I did some gardening. I painted a new house sign for our house. I’ve been out walking the dog. I also attended an adhd workshop.

It’s been a semi productive weekend (I avoided doing some work stuff). But very productive considering my mood is probably low.

It’s sometimes so hard to know. Everything is such an effort though.
I’m going to try and keep up with the weekly Tai Chi/Qi gong class.

I’ve hurt my wrist pulling up roots from bushes we got rid of, so I’m getting carpel tunnel syndrome symptoms.

I want to get back to regularly doing yoga, maybe I will look my yoga mat out in preparation.
Sometimes I just feel so sad and frustrated that I can’t be a normal person and not worry about becoming unwell all the time.

I hope everyone else is doing well

THANK YOU for saying this! I'm so glad to hear someone who feels the same way. It's literally my dream retirement to move there. That centre has something for everyone - everything from gardening clubs to art (and writing) groups to craft workshops to yoga classes to birdwatching outings. And a real range of seniors, from the wealthy to those in low-income housing, so there are always price options.


And it's a nice city in other ways too - people say hello to strangers on the street. Teenagers volunteer at the seniors' centre. Seniors volunteer at the high school. It's not a small city population-wise but is safe and mostly pleasant. Seniors can walk without fear after dark and many do. And like I say, everything is within easy walking distance.


Anyway, I don't think my in-laws gave it much of a chance, but it's up to them obviously. I hope they move to our city rather than far away, because I think they would regret being cut off from family (my husband has 4 siblings and they all live in the region).

No I’m not currently experiencing this. It’s a sign that I’m destabilizing and I need help though. It’s one of the surest signs that I’m unwell and I’ve learned to pay attention to it along with not being able to tolerate movement, light, noise or touch. I become super sensitive to stimulation. I would love to have a sensory deprivation tank. That to my mind sounds lovely.

I have laughed the last few days. I'm getting better. I physically haven't been feeling great but that's nothing compared to the depression.

I think the biggest sign I'm improving is that I just spilled a week's worth of pills from my pill box and I managed to sort them all out and back to the boxes without crying. That's something I'd have trouble handling on the best of days. What a mess. But it's sorted out now and I can go back to watching my show (@Nammu have you seen any of this season of Call the Midwife? My mom gets the whole season at once with a subscription service so we watched it one day at a time last week. It's good.)

I'm so glad to be getting better.

Today I was down and my stomach is off, so I just spent the day doing nothing because I thought maybe my body needs a break.


Now I feel frustrated and bored. Sigh. I'm going to do a few little skin treatments because my skin has been breaking out so badly.

Anyone with bad skin: one of the best things for a breakout is plain Aspirin dissolved in warm water into a paste. Apply to face and wait 15 mins, then rinse off. moisturize as usual. For spot treatment can even leave overnight, although it will obviously dry and flake off to some degree.

Rainbow 🌈 just watched an episode of call the midwife tonight. Oh, it’s sooo good. This season is more upbeat than last season. Loved the dog, nothing.

\

@Nammu, the dog named Nothing made me laugh, one of the first times in a while. Sister Monica Joan reminds me why I loved working in my career.


I'm watching seasons backwards because I've forgotten some plots that are still relevant and because I enjoy it and doing things I enjoy is good for me now.. I just started season 9.


Let me know what you think when you get to the end.

I have my post surgery follow-up in the morning. Everything related to the surgery and neck incision is going swimmingly. Even the slight swelling around the staples I can chalk up to my wound healing. Even the GI symptoms are significantly better! Things are moving like they should. No bloating. No gas stuck in there. Minimal pain. Almost back to normal.

Finances are about to be relevant again though. I don't have to pay medical expenses, thank goodness, but living expenses are in short supply courtesy of being out of work for recovery. Family and friends have helped out financially and I put a lot of those funds towards bills, utilities and major expenses. That helped, but of course now that the fridge needs stocked...

I'm just in a really weird position between needing living expenses, but possibly having a significant tax refund on the way, needing gas for several other doctor's appointments in the coming month and getting the all clear to return to work.

Well, first things first. Let's see what the doc says in the morning.

I have everything ready for the trip. I'm currently at my nephrologist's office. I hope all is at least the same and I won't need to see her for a while. Then to the pharmacy. After that, just trim my nails. I pack my electronic devices last minute, and then off. I feel relaxed at the moment. Relaxed is my goal, but I will feel stressed at times during the trip.

My dad's house is in awful condition because of my poor brother. It won't be comfortable. I'll be having it deep cleaned while there. When Hubby comes, we stay in a hotel.