Bipolar Check-in #74

saw my psychiatrist for the first time today. she is going to start me with abilify to go with my current lexapro and we will see what happens. anyone have experience with abilify? any side effects i should be on the lookout for?

4 days left until my big move!

I went for the final inspection yesterday and it still looks as fabulous as the first day I saw it. You can tell they’ve done a great job cleaning. Only problem is my chihuahua can definitely fit through the front gate. We’re going to have to buy some bricks for there this weekend because he won’t be able to knock them over.

Today I plan on packing the rest of the stuff in my son’s room. I’ve cleaned out most of his room but I didn’t move his bed or his chest of drawers and they will definitely have toys under them.

I did absolutely no packing yesterday. I was just sooo exhausted. My son fell asleep at 3pm on my bed with my iPad. I tried to catch up on some 💤 then but I didn’t fall asleep. It’s 2:44am now and I know I won’t fall back asleep.

I see my T tonight! I’m really excited to see her. I haven’t seen her for a year and a half. She just got too expensive at $200 a session and I don’t get any of that back. But I decided to bite the bullet. Next time I “see” her will be online like the good old days of covid lockdown because I would have moved and she’ll be an hour away from my place.

I really wanted to see my pdoc this week but he’s on leave and then he’s fully booked next week. I’ll have to go over my Easter break. Will have been 3 months since I’ve seen him by then.

Made aqua fitness this morning despite having very little sleep. Oh I say, I just finally fell into deep sleep when the alarm went off. Heh everyone I talked to this morning was feeling guilty because they didn’t go last week. It was just too cold. It’s supposed to be warming up and everyone not just me is fed up with the cold.

This afternoon I have my nails. Then I gotta stop by the pet store and see if they have super high calorie cat food Sir might eat. He’s still losing weight despite his bloodwork being good. He looks good though and his coat is in excellent shape.

I'm just going to give in and see my kidney doctor sooner then May. These symptoms arent getting any better and my left side hurts along with the nausea and hesistancy and all that. My doctor mentioned the possibilty of wanting to do a kidney biopsy one time which has me freaked out after my thyroid one last summer.

I truly feel for people who find lithium and tout it as their miracle drug and can find a sense of normalcy after struggling all their lives. Then soon their mental health and their kidneys gets ****ed up again. It never did anything for me and I made the transistion to Lamictal very smoothly.

I tried switching therapy to remote and she was like "thats totally ok and if you want to rest today, I can do zoom tommorow." Yeah, I know I'm her first client so if she doesn't see me today that gives her a huge chunk of the day off. But I'm struggling making the walk to the bathroom I am not up to a session anyways so I said yeah tommorow would be fine. But idk. I found it to be kinda manipulative. If thats the right word.

Anyways I plan on calling my doctor today to see what he has open.

I heard people are going to build a human moat along Mar-A-Largo tommorow. Lol

Oh, wow...I didn't know that. Poor thing. My heart hurts for her. From what I know of state hospitals, they don't sound like restful or pleasant places, just places that prevent self harm of whatever kind. I hope she is keeping up on her poetry writing, I enjoyed her book so much. I hold out hope that she will be here again one day.

I wonder if she does end up in the state hospital, if they'll allow her internet access?

This day has been hard to come through! I have swallowed 2000 mg Parasetamol and will take 1000 mg later before bedtime!

I had an appointment with my mother at almost 95 today. We were going to shop new cloth to both of us and share a meal afterward.

Sorry to say, the pain in my body was too strong. I had to cancel our appointment because I was afraid that the "flu like" pain is a real flu. I didn't want to be the one who gave her some sickness. After all she is very old ...

I feel sad today, not only for having to cancel our appointment, but because I have started to wonder about what this really is. May be a flu, but what if it is Fibromyalgia? I have pain even beneath my feet. I don't think I can take more ...

4 days left until my big move!

I went for the final inspection yesterday and it still looks as fabulous as the first day I saw it. You can tell they’ve done a great job cleaning. Only problem is my chihuahua can definitely fit through the front gate. We’re going to have to buy some bricks for there this weekend because he won’t be able to knock them over.

Today I plan on packing the rest of the stuff in my son’s room. I’ve cleaned out most of his room but I didn’t move his bed or his chest of drawers and they will definitely have toys under them.

I did absolutely no packing yesterday. I was just sooo exhausted. My son fell asleep at 3pm on my bed with my iPad. I tried to catch up on some then but I didn’t fall asleep. It’s 2:44am now and I know I won’t fall back asleep.

I see my T tonight! I’m really excited to see her. I haven’t seen her for a year and a half. She just got too expensive at $200 a session and I don’t get any of that back. But I decided to bite the bullet. Next time I “see” her will be online like the good old days of covid lockdown because I would have moved and she’ll be an hour away from my place.

I really wanted to see my pdoc this week but he’s on leave and then he’s fully booked next week. I’ll have to go over my Easter break. Will have been 3 months since I’ve seen him by then.

Made aqua fitness this morning despite having very little sleep. Oh I say, I just finally fell into deep sleep when the alarm went off. Heh everyone I talked to this morning was feeling guilty because they didn’t go last week. It was just too cold. It’s supposed to be warming up and everyone not just me is fed up with the cold.

This afternoon I have my nails. Then I gotta stop by the pet store and see if they have super high calorie cat food Sir might eat. He’s still losing weight despite his bloodwork being good. He looks good though and his coat is in excellent shape.