1 week down, 7 to go with start of psychosis

You don't have anything to worry about.

My parents want me over until the 19th. They have no idea how much we are struggling. I have yet to break down to them. They don't know I haven't showered, don't have clean cloths, no milk or soda, but h does. He wants us to go. We'll see when meds get here.

Would it be good to reach out to your parents and talk to them?

I don't know. Everyone is saying Victoria needs to step up but she's trying. She has her own issues and school. They'll want my husband to come home and make my nephew feel like crap about it. I don't want that. I'm the stable one in my family. I just need to wait for my meds and then decide if I go.

Oh okay. When are you getting your meds?

They are mailed so I'm hoping tomorrow.

So meds are on backorder. So I'm going to my parents Monday or Tuesday till the 21st. So I at least showered and got laundry.

Those two are big accomplishments under the current circumstances.

I agree with this.

Not good news today. My nephew has gotten nowhere with care. So we have to make a decision on what next to do. So at the end of this month we may have visitors for awhile. H is trying to do best for all of us. He needs to come home for care too. This is suck a mess.

I don't know if I missed it or what, but what's wrong with your nephew where your husband has to be gone so long?

(If you don't want to share that's completely fine.)

Nephew fell into a depression with out medical care while caring for two small kids. No one down there is willing to help with the kids while he gets treatment. Then after we found a Dr they dropped him after two weeks claiming he needs a higher level of care. Now no one is getting back to him about PHP or IOP. He doesn't want the hospital because they don't set you up with affordable aftercare. So we're kinda stuck.

I just realized I'm getting paranoid of pdoc too. Just reviewed my records he did diagnosis me with PTSD. So I guess we have to see where this goes. H doesn't like me reviewing my records. I'm not going to tell him I did. I shouldn't have told h about my thoughts. I should learn to keep them to myself. My heads sweralling with all these thoughts. Why does everyone want to lock me up? It won't help. I'm still crazy. I'm loosing it and I don't know if I care. One thing I know is I'm not talking to the psychiatrist anymore.

I need sleep. Maybe that will help. I wish my friendliness would not be mistaken for weakness. Nice guy but I don't know I don't trust him. Will he think this change is due to h coming home? I don't want to go to my parents, I don't want to go anywhere. Masking this will be hard. It's almost 3 here. I'm going to try to sleep. Hopefully the thoughts will go away tomorrow. I doubt it because there accurate.

Well I slept some that didn't help.

What kind of thoughts are you having? Would it help to share with us? I'm sorry sleep didn't help. When I'm not well I also think I can just sleep it off. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

That's sad about your nephew . Is he moving in with you?

He maybe moving in with us with the two kids until we get him settled and seen. While we care for the kids. We live in a micro 2 bedroom, so it's already tight quarters but I don't see any other options.

I don't really want to share my thoughts. I'm practicing keeping them to myself. Which is the best way not to get people worried or hospitalized. I'm safe even though my heads not.

Okay. I understand.

It's great you guys are taking care of your nephew.

Is it actually psychosis if I know what is going on?

I do not know. For me, psychosis means I do not know, but on here many people have reported, say, having hallucinations and knowing that they were hallucinating.

I have been able to tell when I am hallucinating. It doesn’t make the hallucinations any less vivid though.

My husband is leaving tonight for his mom's place. Her mom isn't doing well and she leaves Thursday to be with her. Then Thursday or Friday he'll go to my parents house and then we'll all come back the 19th or 20th. We don't know what is happening with my nephew until after Christmas.

At my parents house.

Glad you have made it safely.