Bipolar Check-in #80

I increase risperdal and decrease lybalvi again on my taper tonight. heres to hoping things stay ok.

I had my endoscopy. I didn't snap out of the anthesia and I guess I tried sitting up once and the nurse told me to lie down and then I tried again to sit up and that time my mom told me to lie back down. But it wasn't like last time. I did get pretty nauseated so they gave me a shot of zofran through my IV. But I felt ok fairly quickly and I got dressed and was able to walk out myseIf. My mom and I got food to bring home.

I have inflamation in my lower esophagus, inflamation in my stomach, and a few ulcers in my stomach. The nurse said thats why I've been so sick. She told me to raise my prilosec to twice a day and then follow up with the doctor in 2 weeks. He took several biopsies.

Then I had to pickup the stuff for my colonoscopy on Monday. I had a question about the stuff and the nurse was all like to my mom "the doctor says he absolutly needs a colononscopy." Kinda a freaky answer.

My mom was joking and said we should send this report to the first hospital that just blew me off. Seriously though, get a second opinion if you know something isnt right.

I'm just lying in bed now. I'm groggy and a bit headachy and nauseated and crampy. Waiting to see if Biden drops out today.

@Mountaindewed, nurse probably thinks with quite a bit of upper GI problems, there's likely some stuff they need to know about lower. At least that's what I'd be thinking without any medical training. Weird that was a response though to a question about the prep stuff though.

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In the interview I told them I couldn't pass a test if they asked because some ignorant douche I listened to said it was over 90 days if it was "stoner use," and I just assumed that being high for a week straight would qualify me as "probably won't pass in under a third of that." (I looked it up and in most cases--even multiple times a day chronically--are gone by about 30 days). I think an employer would be sketched out if someone called back and said "oh wait, I can pass," after.

Oh man, I had to take my mother to the hospital and they are admitting her. There are several things going on with her.

One possibility is congestive heart failure but they need to clear up other things before they have a clearer picture.

This is not helping my anxiety. One step at a time, I suppose.

Hypomania feels awesome. I don't want to have to go back on my full dose of Seroquel like I promised H. I want the hypomania to last other than the overspending part. It feels SOO good! Life is awesome again!

I'm glad they're getting closer to solving your issues MD. I hope the colonoscopy prep and procedure goes well.

I'm so sorry. I hope you get some answers soon. Any idea when they will have a diagnosis. Sometimes just waiting for the diagnosis is worse than actually getting and dealing with a bad diagnosis because if you know the prognosis (even if it's not good), you can make plans to deal with it. I can't remember. Do you have a T? If so, you should definitely talk to your T about it.

Has your doctor tested if the ulcers are caused by the bacteria H. pylori? If they are, they can do a blood, breath or stool test to test for it. For the breath test, you drink or eat something that contains radioactive carbon. H. pylori breaks down the substance in your stomach. Later, you blow into a bag, which is then sealed. If you're infected with H. pylori, your breath sample will contain the radioactive carbon in the form of carbon dioxide. Hopefully they did bioposies of the ulcers during your endoscopy. The bacterial cause can be easily treated. Otherwise, the ulcers are caused either by using NSAIDs (Excedrin, aspirin, Motrin, naxproxen, ibuprofen, Aleve, Midol) or they can be idiopathic (cause unknown)..

I know too that you have ED issues. Purging and bulimia are cause ulcers too as well as vomiting frequently. When someone with bulimia nervosa (BN) purges by self-induced vomiting, the stomach acids are brought up out of the upper GI tract. This may increase the amount of acid in the stomach, making it even more acidic and thus damaging tissue. Which is why I'm wondering why your GI hasn't been more proactive about your frequent vomiting. Ulcers can perforate if left until and it requires invasive emergency surgery; I should know, I have a 5 inch vertical scar belly button up from when I had an ulcer that perforated. That experience was another notch on my PTSD belt. It was AWFUL.

Yeah, I've definitely got some hypomania going on. But, situational depression of not having much to do is still there on and off throughout the day too. For context, before my endoscopy, I was needing 11-12 hours of sleep a night and still didn't have the energy to do much because I was so fatigued. Last night, once I fell asleep I slept for about 6-7 hours. So, while a good nights sleep, I'm still running on half the sleep I've been getting and still feel full of energy. I do believe some of this energy is also coming from the IV fluids though.

I didn't message my pdoc because I slept well, and a good amount, and was doing okay for the first part of the day. Now, my racing and all over the place brain is back, I can't/don't want to focus on one thing because I want to be doing everything at one, and I feel like I can conquer the world again... In the past, if I have sleep issues, it only lasts a day or two and then my brain figures itself out. So, hopefully, that will be the case this time and I won't end up needing less and less sleep. @Blueberrybook my next pdoc appointment is in just over two weeks.

@LadyShadow I'm sorry you are going through something similar.

@Mountaindewed I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I hope you can continue to get answers so they need so you can know exactly what is going on.

@Scooter9 I'm sorry about your mother.

Thanks @Blueberrybook.

We'll know more in 1 or 2 days which is how long it'll take to get all the water out of her system. Her legs are badly swollen as is her stomach - all water.

She's on the cardiology ward and her doctor is in the same hospital which is great. We went through a bad diagnosis before but I think this time is different. They're being very diligent and taking things step by step.

Anxiety is under control, at least physically with the Klonopin. My mind is a mess but I guess that's to be expected in the circumstance. My family is supportive.

Yes, I have a T but I don't see her until next Tuesday. I'll speak with her about this though.

Good evening everyone ☺️

I'm not going to Amsterdam. Husband won't let me go alone. And I have no one to go with. Yes. The band is Sleep Token.

I'm not manic. I'm gleeful! Seriously though, I promise I'm not manic. I've been taking my antipsychotic. If I stopped taking my antipsychotic yes I would be manic right now.

Bought Dr. K his thank you card this afternoon. Husband and I walked to the store after having a wonderful love encounter 💕 (Daughter was hanging out with her cousins at his mom's house). Wednesday is my last appointment with Dr. K and then I start seeing Dr. A in August. Help me please! She's going to fukk me up!

Have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning. Going to try getting more than three hours of sleep tonight. Wish me luck!

I don't have bulimia. My therapist said I don't. I asked her when all this was starting. I was worried I had an eating disorder and she reassured me I was going through a health issue and that my vomiting was legit. They did take biopsies of stuff. I think they said it was gastristis for right now until they get the biopsies back.

I did do a stool test and my test came back at 201. Abnormal is 120. Which is why they want to do the coIonoscopy. They said something about irritable bowel disease.

Thanks. I'm kinda nervous about the colonoscopy because I can tell there is something off. Just pain wise and stuff.

(Please stay at home! You don't know what will happen if you go alone! NB) I read the post you posted later. I am glad that you are not going! I was worried for you.

@Bluberrybook I hope your grandmother at 90 will do well and change her mind if it is necessary.

I just slept all day yesterday after I got home. I ate the noodles I got for lunch and then the rest of the pistachio pudding and then instant lemon jello with whipped cream for dinner. But I was pretty much knocked out all day. I did throw up about an hour ago, but my overall nausea and pain is a lot better. My treadmill is coming today.

Holiday is nearly over.

Mood is plummeting with every passing hour.

The closer I get to work the sadder I get.

Hugs all.

I didn't feel well yesterday. A spider scared me. I have always been afraid of spiders.

My body felt heavy and tired yesterday, so I skipped the walking.


This morning, I don't want to go, but will force myself to do both the gym and to go for the walk. I need my physical health to become better.

Oh my ! I feel my depression is slowly creeping in. It was so easy to say: "I'll force myself to do it".

I think I need to use some antidepressant-tools to make sure I don't give in "to the black dog". I will go and get my tool-box immediately. Well, with my tool-box, I hopefully will have the control. (Toolbox means doing "things" I know probably help, like journaling, setting small goals and see if I really reach them, be in the here and now, and more).

Send my best wishes to all!

I have done a lot of work for hours with putting together the right tools, so I can continue my journey to a better life for the next weeks.


I am so irritated over that it is never OK to forget the chronic in the emotional disorder! I suppose I am not the only one who have to constant look out for triggers to be able to live well and prevent a worsening.

But at least I am capable to use my mental health tools. I don't have to be a slave of it!

I have replaced the walking I should have done today until tomorrow after breakfast. For now I will do the gym at home before I visit the grocery shop for the weekend.


Good hopes for all of you and a good weekend!

Hello everyone

I’m doing well on my meds. I have a violin lesson on Tuesday coming up. Looking forward to that. We’re gonna be working on me learning Song of Storms from the Zelda videogame series.

I bought some new videogames on the Steam summer sale for PC. So I’m excited to play those. I also got a bunch of kindle books I’ve been wanting for awhile too. Such as the whole A Court of Thorns and Roses series, Fourth Wing, Iron Flame, and a bunch of other cozy fantasy novels I’ve been wanting. So I have plenty to read for awhile.

Right now I’m reading the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Maas, I’m on book 2 out of 8 so far. And listening to the audiobook of Fairy Tale by Stephen King.

Other than that I’ve been watching the show The Boys on Amazon prime and it’s really good. Also been watching some anime shows such as Black Clover, and Naruto on Hulu. And I got a Disney plus subscription along with my Hulu subscription so I’ve been watching some stuff on Disney plus as well like the Frozen movies and am gonna watch all the marvel movies and rewatch all the Star Wars movies.

I’m going to the pharmacy tomorrow to pick up my meds and the vitamin D supplement my psychiatrist prescribed. It’s a once a week supplement. So I’m gonna start taking that once a week on Saturdays.

This weekend I plan on cleaning, practicing violin, and spending time with my boyfriend. I might make some pasta this weekend. Like pasta with ground turkey to make a kind of meat sauce. Oh and on Sunday I have a volunteer shift with the cat rescue I volunteer with.

Listening to some good music right now and enjoying a coffee. I slept really good. One of my cats woke me up earlier because she wanted food so I fed them and then went back to sleep lol