Bipolar Check-in #82

My worker’s compensation claim for depression and anxiety has been approved!!!

Woohooooo!!!!!!

N3 and his gf and I went out for Korean/American food yesterday . N3 was driving and we pulled into the Salvation Army. I found the plus sized jeans rack and picked out four pair and went to try them on. One pair was too long and one pair was too tight. I got the other two and one was half off so I only ended up paying $4 for them and $7 for the other. Now I have something to wear when the cooler days come. I knew I'd gained weight but at least I only went up one size. I'm glad because I really had no long pants. Eating out everyday adds up- in pounds and dollars- plus the risperdal really adds the pounds.

Congrats!!

So what does that mean? Do you get time off work or just don't have to teach the year 8 students anymore?

Whatever it means congratulations!

Hope your daughter will be well soon!

I am well again!

I've just been feeling sick as of late. And I had horrible nightmares last night about the negative entity and I don't know why because I actually took my full dose of seroquel before bed. I was all paranoid and ****. I don't know. I'm not doing well. 😞 Husband read online that you shouldn't scratch flea bites because you can get secondary infections.... maybe that's why I've been feeling so sick. I don't know.

@Crazy Hitch

Congrats on the workers comp! That's awesome! What a relief!

I woke up way too early, and I am feeling it now. I would drink coffee, but that actually puts me to sleep so that's a no-go there. I just feel so mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am pushing myself to work today - that payment really hurts. I am just so lost as to what I am supposed to be doing. Therapy was SO hard yesterday; I was totally disorganized and all over the place, but my T was very patient with me.

I am pushing through and staying positive. Remembering to take an inventory of all I have to be grateful for and how far I've come. I refuse to feel sorry for myself, fall into depression or ask for more medicine. Screw all that. I am a fighter and I have always been and I am going to fight my way through this. It's mind over matter and after everything I have been through, I know that healing comes from within and I need to keep fighting those demons that tell us all the bad things. They cannot win!!

Hugs for everyone that needs it this morning I hope everyone has a fantastic Wednesday!!

I’m tired. I was up for 2 or 3 hours in the middle of the night last night. Finally slept a few hours but got up at 7 and I’m still tired.

How long ago did you decrease the Celexa? It may stay in your system a week or so before it adapts to the lower dose. Or perhaps you need to lower it again. Really sounds like you need to plead with your pdoc for some sort of med adjustment or maybe start considering IP? You don't want to damage your relationship with your H.

I'm so sorry for those of you struggling. Bipolar really is a BYTCH.

My life is still boring - slept well, exercised (though perhaps I jogged too long and oops, I went out while it was still dark), showered, had breakfast. I don't really have any plans for today other than the usual laundry, fix meals, take care of the cats, read. Same old, same old. Seems my life is on one big loop right now which sort of makes me want to cut my Seroquel dose in half so I have more energy to do things but then I don't sleep well and I don't do well with too little sleep.

Hope everyone has a fantastic Wednesday!

Friday she decreased it. I’m
Not so angry today but apathetic about things.

My temp went down but it took awhile. I feel ok today just kinda nauseated and lacking energy. I woke up around 5 with a migraine so I took 2 regular extra strength tylenol and I used my neck and shoulder heating pad and I fell back asleep for an hour and I woke up and the migraine was gone.

I think I'm going to try going down on my Geodon again. I just have this total lack of energy and I think I'm over medicated. The Geodon 20mg is the easiest thing to try to cut right now

I took a Zofran 15 minutes ago and it seems to be helping my nausea and not causing anxiety and the Tylenol PM didn't make me feel weird or anxious either. Often that ingredient makes me feel really weird.

My doctor ordered a vitamin D blood test so I went and got it done and my mom and I stopped at the Walgreens on the way out so I could get some beef jerky and as we were walking out some lady about my moms age said to my mom "treating your grandson?" In a kind voice. It took us both off guard and my mom managed a smile. I was just like wtf. I've been mistaken before for her grandson

I finally slept! I slept for 14 hours

That's awesome!!

I cant do IP. too much to do. maybe ill be ok til i see new pdoc. i wasnt supposed to see currrent pdoc again for a month. she just doesnt seem to care

It means I definitely don’t have to teach year 8 classes for the rest of the year and if the principal wants to drop my time fraction I will still get paid 95% of my salary

I’m doing a 30 Christmas song ukulele challenge on Facebook. So I’m gonna learn 30 Christmas songs between now and December and post videos of me playing them over the next couple months as I learn them. Just a fun challenge to motivate myself to play more and learn more. Right now I’m learning The First Noel.

Maybe next year I’ll do that challenge on violin. I have other stuff I’m working on, on violin right now though so I’ll do that for Christmas of 2025.

Wow blue bird what a positive challenge. The first song I learned on the guitar was silver bells. My school system was very pro arts, everyone had to take music appreciation and learn at least one instrument. I think it’s inspired to learn music.

That’s awesome! Music is so important. I was in my elementary and middle schools orchestra when I was a kid, I played violin. We had a choice of chorus or orchestra and I chose orchestra. In high school I took a music appreciation class and learned some guitar.

My main two instruments I play now are violin and ukulele though I do have a keyboard and can play some stuff on that and piano/keyboards are helpful for learning music theory. But my main two are violin and ukulele.

It’s just all around great, learning instruments. It’s good for anxiety, depression. It’s a helpful coping skill. It’s a good way to be creative. It makes you feel good about yourself when you learn something new. There’s always stuff to challenge yourself with and learn more.

Ooh, that sounds fun! I applaud your setting goals and sticking to it - I have found im terrible with that. Wishing you the holiday energy vibes to keep the wheels turning.

I got out of the house! My mental health drop-in is open late on Wednesdays and i was at loose ends at 4:00pm, so i went. It was good to get a change of scenery. There's a lounge and we just hang-out. One staff got a little heavy with me, about the Wellness Recovery Action Plan, WRAP, so i just shut her down by saying i'd keep it in mind. But i'm not seriously considering it. It helped pass the time and was a 3.5 hour break, so that was good.

@Nammu and @BeyondtheRainbow:

Thanks for your concern about my dog. It's not dehydration or a UTI. It'll sound absurd, but my dog is having a huge reaction to a chirping noise coming from the next building, like a smoke detector makes when the battery is running out of juice. It's so bizarre! She's just petrified. I have to walk her way far away from the building for her to go potty. I wish i didn't care about her so much, but i am constantly worried about whether she is comfortable or not. I'm probably just being an over-anxious dog-mom. It's so hard with an animal because they can't tell you what they want. This is the first dog i've had on my own and it's a world of difference being solely responsible for a dog compared to sharing care with a partner or family. I'm so sick myself, it's a real strain on me. After she's gone, no more pets, not even a fish. She's adorable and i love her to bits, but taking care of her and managing my own bipolar is a real big challenge i'd rather not have to tackle.

Hugs to all who need them!

So true!!


Well, I'm horribly disappointed. I had plans to go to a concert with a friend in a couple of months. It's my favorite band and their music helps me get through all the tough mental health stuff. I discovered them during one of the worst depressive episodes I've had. It was a year ago this month actually.

But, my friend just told me she can no longer go. The reason why makes complete sense, and I'm not upset with her, but I don't feel safe going to where to concert is on my own. And, I don't know anyone else who would be interested in going.

I rarely get to see her, or do fun things in general, so I've really been looking forward to this. I even scheduled an IV fluid infusion for shortly before the concert to help guarantee I could go. I'm so sad about this.

my bloodtest came back and I can't tell. Theres no doctors note yet. Google is confusing.

How do I just push myself? Legit question. I need to just get out of bed. I do have about 2 good days a week. But I know I'm badly out of shape and walking around a store will cause muscle aches that will last all day.

I just don't know what to do.

I was having this bad nightmare when all of a sudden I woke up because my nose was dripping and I was coughing real bad. Like a raspy wet cough. I got the cough somewhat under control and I threw up a bunch of this yellow phlegm. I googled pneumonia but I don't have a fever. I'm still coughing but its not as bad. My nose is still running a bit Should I be worried about something respirtory or was this some weird sleep apnea or sleep panic attack ****?

Now I have chills and a dry cough with some phlegm.

My mom was saying I was just depressed and said I needed to get a job when I told her I wasn't feeling good yesterday. Lol.

I know I had that low grade temp the other day and the meatloaf we had for dinner that night tasted off. I just feel all around achy and coughy right now. Like my chest and sides hurt real bad