Bipolar Check-in #84

Just got a message, dinner is delayed and hour as my nephew is having trouble with there well. Got somebody working on it now. Oo I’m so glad I live where I live. Got people for that. Wonder how many people will show up? I’m guessing 11-12. That’s not too bad. Oh wait I forgot no more like 16-18 and 6 kids.

Got an O2 monitor and I tried it. It said 98. And I just used my albuterol/rescue inhaler and I still feel chest pressure and I’m coughing. Guess that’s the asthma reacting to the albuterol. My peak flow meter where you blow into a tube and it gives you a number was 350. It’s supposed to be 400 but bad would be like 200. And this is right after I took my albuterol.

today is my moms 60thbday. im takig her to dinner tomorrow after work. i went to gym and rode the bike for a bit. tummy is upset. anxiety related im sure. idk. my tummy seems to always be upset lately. colonoscpy and upper endoscopy s scheudled for dec 12. looking for UC and crohns. nightshade veggies seems to always mkae me sick.

We got Subway for lunch. Ordering food with my mom is a bit complicated. She doesn't know how to find online menus even though all you have to do is literally type in the name of that resturant and the menu comes up. Then it takes forvever for her to decide. We were going to get Jimmy Johns but she wanted a meatball sub which they dont have and then she said "do they have that kind that we used to get in Chicago?" And I had no idea what she was talking about so we ordered Subway instead.

I got a turkey sub and a pretzel. My stomach and anxiety are decent today but I'm pretty sluggish.

I had a dream last night where Martha Stewart died.

The left side of my face feels weird. Kinda numb. And I have a headache but only on that side. I literally can't tell when something is an emergency these days. The times I do get help it turns out to be nothing and I feel like a drug/doctor seeker.

I go to the wedding dress alterations place today to see if my wedding dress actually fits me now. She seemed quite confident that it would fit with the 2 seams taken out. I am less convinced.

I’m making chicken legs in the air fryer.

we just ate bbq chicken les we baked

I practiced violin and studied some music theory. Got everything done I wanted to do today. Treadmill, art, violin, study music theory. So now I’m just relaxing for the rest of the day.

Tomorrow I get my turkey basket. I’m probably not cooking the turkey for thanksgiving. I’m gonna put it in my freezer and cook it in December probably for Christmas.

I made my smoothie. It was really good. I still have more leftover I put in the fridge for later or tomorrow.

I’m so sick of hearing sirens all day it’s like all day everyday. I hate living in this area. I need to put on my noise cancelling headphones.

Also I’m tired. I’m always tired thanks to my meds even though I sleep good.

Probably just gonna read, watch shows and play my game for the rest of today. Relax.

I’m trying to work on my bad habit of procrastinating. I do it even with things I enjoy like art and violin, reading , etc I did good today but I definitely need to keep working on it because sometimes I go weeks without practicing or doing things I want to do sheerly due to procrastinating all day everyday. Once I start I’m fine. It’s starting that’s the hard part. Motivation follows action. Can’t rely on it to come beforehand. I mean sometimes it does but that’s not reliable to wait on. Eventually it’ll all become habit. I’m trying to practice 30 minutes a day at least once violin. Study music theory daily. And sketch for 20 minutes a day. Obviously I can do more than that if I feel up to it but that’s helps with any resistance I have to starting because I won’t feel overwhelmed.

I’d say procrastination has been the biggest barrier to me accomplishing my goals such as becoming better at art and violin and getting in better shape physically with exercise

@Moose72 There's something called mycoplasma bronchitis/pneumonia going around very heavily now here. I've had it for 2 or 3 weeks. It feels like forever. All I seem to do is cough. I've been on antibiotics but will be contacting my doctor tomorrow for another round. He wanted to give me steroids initially (I have asthma too) but I can't have them because they send me flying. Apparently it is super contagious and nasty. He told me he'd seen more cases of pneumonia in 2 weeks than he had in 2 years. The only good thing has been that my asthma hasn't really flared with this. I haven't even used my nebulizer because I wasn't wheezing when I saw him. I probably should try it but I'll ask first. Albuterol is also kind of stimulating for me so I hate using it.

moose - Sorry about your breathing problems. I hope the albuterol helps.

HUGS to all in need!

I'm having a bit better of a day today than yesterday. Mood is better but I still haven't taken my morning gabapentin. I don't even think I need gabapentin. I want to be on less medication, but every time I try it, I end up on even more than I started with. I just have to get through this part of the year. Can't wait for the holidays to be over, but then yayl Trump comes into office

I'm wondering if I'm getting covid again. This recent stuff has been going on just since Friday morning. I'm just headachy and nauseated and tired and nothing has been helping.

I called the doctors office again and this man answered the after hours line. I told him my peak flow is in the green zone. And I’d taken both my asthma inhalers and I still feel like I can’t breathe! He had me give him my O2 and it was 95. He said below 92 is what they worry about. He said I’ve already got an extended appointment with my doctor on Tuesday so just keep that unless I faint or get blue lips and fingers. Walking around the grocery store with N3 tonight was difficult. I was definitely fighting to breathe faster. I’m beginning to think I do have a partially collapsed lung! It’s in my portal!

@Moose72

You can take steroids even if you're on gabapentin. I'm on gabbies and took a steroid last winter when I got atypical pneumonia. Steroid and an antibiotic. Felt a million times better within a week! It was great! I hope you feel better soon.

Was a nice thanksgiving. Good people, good food. Our football team won in overtime. I get 30 gas points tomorrow. My car is so cool, it tells me how to get to places in the middle of nowhere. My nephew and his wife live in farm county, they don’t farm but they have a house that used to be a farm house.

Now I’m done with the holidays until Christmas Day. Since I’ve bought all my presents already I’m done, done. I’m not decorating for the season, just putting up a wreath after the real thanksgiving.

Tmi, but my period is being stupid this month and should be over, but I've been randomly spotting for the past few days. It's so annoying!! It's just like, SERIOUSLY?! I think my hormones really are all f'd like my therapist keeps on telling me. I should probably make a doctor's appointment. Sigh. Put the big girl panties on, raspberry!

Had a nice day with my daughter. We went on a walk to the store because she wanted to buy herself some sushi. Great day for a walk! Had to deal with, "Hurry up, momma! You're so SLOW!!" every once in a while. Lol. My response, "I'm OLD!!! I'm 42!" Haha. We had fun geeking out. 😊

There is something I’m on that I can’t take with Steroids……

I'm curious so I looked it up. It's probably your blood thinner.

@raspberrytorte - Must be the month for atypical periods. Mine usually last a week or more with days of spotting at the end. This cycle, I had a 2 day period, no spotting, just 2 days. I have NEVER had a 2 day period but at this point, the gynecologist tells me anything can happen long periods, short periods, heavy periods, light periods, skipped periods, super short cycles, all par for the course with perimenopause. I'm 46 now, less than 2 months away from 47. All they can really do is put you on hormonal birth control, and that turns my bipolar INSANE! So I really can't do hormones.

And other types of hormones I've had checked, like thyroid, parathyroid all are smack dab in the middle range.

Finished the book Pride and Prejudice. Now looking through my kindle library trying to decide what to read next. I have a TON of unread books I’ve bought /accumulated over the years so I never really run out of stuff to read on there. I reread books a lot too. Most books I read and I enjoy I end up reading at least once more if not more.

Anyway I’m proud of myself for finishing Pride and Prejudice. I’ve been having a hell of time trying to focus lately. Idk why. Sometimes I just struggle to focus. But I managed to read for almost 2 hours today so that’s pretty good.

Rest of tonight I plan on watching shows/movies

Probably. It interacts with everything!

I finally put clothes in the washer. My depression/mixed episode is so much better that I've been ignoring the fact that I'm still fighting to get things done. Partly this is because I've been physically sick for a few weeks and getting better has been slow. But the fact remains that I haven't washed clothes in weeks so I have a lot to do. I also desperately need to clean my kitchen and run the dishwasher but I have a very hard time making myself work on it. But at least I have one load in the washer and will throw another in when I put those in the dryer. I'll get those in the dryer and be done for a day or two. The important stuff is in there now. I just have to make sure I get everything in the dryer and don't waste water and money having to re-wash the 2nd load because I didn't put it in the dryer.

Well my asthma is well controlled. Peak flow meter is at my green zone goal and my o2 finger sensor was at 100%! My chest still hurts though.

Today has been a much better day than yesterday. Slept in, went to Mass, got some errands done, volunteered at the dog rescue, and did some laundry (well, minus the folding). The grocery store had a great soda sale so I stocked up (I only buy it when the store has one of their great deals).

I hit the ground running tomorrow with a parent/teacher conference before school. But, it will be an easy day overall because the kids are watching a documentary in the majority of my classes. It's just to hard to dive into content a ton because of it being a short week.

I picked up my wedding dress and it fits like a glove! Let’s just hope it still fits me when I say “I do” lol

@Blueberrybook

Yeah. I can't take hormonal birth control either. Turns me into a raging bytch the entire month. Best NOT to mess with my hormones! That's kind of why I've avoided making an appointment. I don't know what my GP could do for me anyway. I'm not taking any hormones no matter what, but it would REALLY make my hormones obsessed therapist happy if I made an appointment. Lol. Whatever. I should probably go in for a check-up anyway. I feel like I'm a little young to be perimenopausal, but I guess my mom went through menopause in her early fifties, so I don't know.