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  #726  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 02:48 AM
Iloveanimals25 Iloveanimals25 is offline
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I responded to some people but it didn't show up.

I had a fantastic day! My caregiver and I got through 3 boxes and sorted keep and goodwill. We also got through a really tall hamper that was filled with clothes. There were a couple really cute tops that I might be able to fit into. I found so much stuff that I'll never fit in again. That sucked.

I found one of those old glass bottles that had prenatal vitamins that my mom was taking when she was pregnant with me! I'll cherish that forever!

Im keeping a lot more than I thought I was going to. And I still have so much more to go through. Step by step.

Oh I found this really pretty necklace that my son gave me and I lost it like 2 days after he gave it to me. I found that yesterday. I was elated, lol. Showed it to my sister's.

My sister that had the stroke, is having the tumor that is on her lower spine removed. She had a tumor on her brain too. She had the stroke 3 days before she was going to have the tumor on her brain removed.

My family is prone to tumors. My mom had one inside her face, my son has a benign on his brain, my brother had one but im not sure where.

But im broke and i want to get her flowers but man they come up to over a hundred. That poor woman!

But I'm doing good. I hope everyone else is too.😊
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  #727  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 05:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iloveanimals25 View Post
I'm so sorry that all this happened to you! Big hugs! Does that Bayer for back pain work?
It really does for me and mom.
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  #728  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 05:56 AM
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I woke up at midnight like I’d been doing before the accident and felt like myself again. Yay! I’m still glad I rescheduled my appointments to a later date.

I’ve got so many things to do to catch up. I’ll pace myself.

I hate that mom and I will miss the Tulip Festival but she is not well since the accident.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.
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Thanks for this!
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  #729  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 05:57 AM
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I woke up with a sore throat. It kinda makes sense that I'd be getting a cold just because I slept all afternoon on Sunday and felt so off yesterday. Idk. I just don't really feel good today. Mood wise I'm feeling decent.
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  #730  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 08:39 AM
Iloveanimals25 Iloveanimals25 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower123 View Post
It really does for me and mom.
Thank you for letting me know. I have horrible back pain.

How are you doing?
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  #731  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 10:00 AM
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Ideally I'd be like "you're getting your *** out of bed and going out to the grocery store and then getting ice cream." But I just have this total lack of energy. I worked out this morning and I've had coffee. But I'm still like a zombie.

I took a 40 minute nap and then I felt well enough to go to a couple stores and get an ice cream float from Sonic.

I just took a Zofran and I'm feeling better. I should use those more.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Mar 18, 2025 at 12:19 PM.
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  #732  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 11:16 AM
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I had a good morning, still in a stable mood. I did pilates, showered, had breakfast, read an hour with the SAD lamp. I drew, only 2 pics today because I was practicing 1 and 2 point perspective which don't come easily to me. But I did draw a decent outline of a hare I plan to color tomorrow (all in the creative corner forum). H repaired my collapsing bookcase last night, so I had to put all the books back this morning, which was a job as it is overstuffed with my new drawing books! I need to get lunch soon and maybe a nap. I can't figure out why I'm so tired these days unless it's allergies; the car was covered with pollen when I drive to grocery pickup on Sunday, and I've noticed some of the bushes planted all over the area that I am allergic to have started blooming. Unfortunately, they bloom at different rates and it can take a month or so before they have all finished blooming. And if I take Claritin, it just shoots my anxiety through the rough, so there's not much to be done about it.

Here's my exciting 2 point perspective pic of a treasure chest (mostly drawn free hand though, I hate using rulers):
Bipolar Check-in #87
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen

Last edited by Blueberrybook; Mar 18, 2025 at 11:51 AM.
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  #733  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 12:19 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Oh, I slept soo well. I was exhausted when I went to bed last night and I fell right to sleep and had fantastic dreams. What a glorious way to start the day. I see my T today and I’ve a lot to say.

The only minus is today I see her during the time I usually draw. So either I need to draw early or wait until I’m back. I’ve no set time with her it’s done by computer. It tries to get the appointment every two weeks but it can be any day, any time! That’s sort of frustrating.
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #734  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 12:20 PM
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Feeling better today, about to go out. I am trying to see this Captain America movie forever now, and I think I'll finally go this afternoon. Feeling bad about my ex still. It's just been really hard. I know it probably sounds like a broken record, and I am on everybody's nerves, but it's how I feel.

Going to my church today, maybe spending some time there will help. Have to go to the pharmacy too.
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  #735  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 01:28 PM
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Have a therapy appointment in 30 minutes from now. I opted for video visit for today cause I don’t feel like going out today.

I feel good. I slept really well, 9 hours and 40 minutes of unbroken sleep
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
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Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #736  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 01:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyShadow View Post
Feeling better today, about to go out. I am trying to see this Captain America movie forever now, and I think I'll finally go this afternoon. Feeling bad about my ex still. It's just been really hard. I know it probably sounds like a broken record, and I am on everybody's nerves, but it's how I feel.

Going to my church today, maybe spending some time there will help. Have to go to the pharmacy too.
Hope you enjoy the movie! I went and saw it a couple weeks ago
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Blueberrybook, LadyShadow
Thanks for this!
Crazy Hitch, LadyShadow
  #737  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 02:09 PM
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I’m doing okay I guess. Woke up later than yesterday and got out of bed eventually at 4:20am now just browsing the forums before I leave for work later on. Hoping today is kind to me at work and I don’t get sworn at or anything like that.
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  #738  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 02:21 PM
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I've kinda had enough today
Possible trigger:


I don't really know what my problem is. My agoraphobia and anxiety are ok. Its just like this loss of interest in things and unable to motivate myself.
Possible trigger:
I did another 100 pushups making that 700 for today. I'm still just down but I'm listening to better music at least.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Mar 18, 2025 at 03:13 PM.
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  #739  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 03:03 PM
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I had a good therapy session. It was intense though we talked about a lot of stuff.

Possible trigger:


It was a lot, I’m glad I have her as my therapist though she’s really good with trauma.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Blueberrybook, Crazy Hitch, Iloveanimals25, June08, LadyShadow, Mountaindewed, Nammu, unaluna
  #740  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 03:26 PM
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@Blue_Bird That's rough.
Possible trigger:
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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  #741  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 03:42 PM
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I have too many posts to even try to hope to catch on. At @LadyShadow I hope you can put you breakup behind you. As I recall, breakups have been hard for you such as when you separated from you ex before this last BF as well. Hard to accept, but it may be time to move on and quit waiting on pins and needles from an email or text from you ex every day. You have to remember, he ditched you at the worst of your bipolar, and if you love someone, I really think you would have stuck by them, given them enough time to get sorted at a psychiatric facility and been more understanding, at least tried to stand by half a year at a minimum. I think you undervalue your self-worth and maybe think you don't deserve more. Stay free from dating, give yourself a good 6-9 months free of it all and then start up. Now, I did meet my H online dating, it happens, so did my college roommate, she has to be married 10 yr. now but there ARE other places to meet people once you are outside of school and college (and definitely do NOT go to the bars, that's a Pandora's box right there.)

It sounds like you enjoy taking time to take care of yourself, and I think that is absolutely what you should do here. Exercise, maybe walking as the weather's been warm in the South, I have a pilates video I can recommend and all you need is a mat (Move with Nicole, free on youtube but as long as I've done it, I'm still on her beginner levels videos!). If your family is nearby, spend time with them, church, AA, if you have Espsom salts, soaking in a bath of that is a treat. Music, maybe change up a playlist, watch something if you have streaming services. Spend some time for yourself and treasure it.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
Hugs from:
Crazy Hitch, Iloveanimals25, LadyShadow
Thanks for this!
Iloveanimals25, LadyShadow, Nammu
  #742  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 03:48 PM
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Blueberrybook Blueberrybook is offline
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Sorry for all I've missed; I'm just one person, and I can't reply personally to everyone. HUGS to all needing it.

I'm baking banana bread at the moment, not really that hard and I just hate it when my breakfast ends up as pop-tarts because I don't have anything better to eat.

Got a text from my sis...she is taking my youngest nephew to the childrens ER. He was supposed to get a vaccine today and was complaining of back pain; she thought he was faking because he hates needles, then she realized he really WAS in bad pain. Doc found blood in the urine, sent her to the children's ER (though he's 17, I doubt he appreciates that much), he had CT scan with contrast and are waiting on results. They are thinking kidney stone but not sure if it will pass on its own or need surgery. Poor kid is on Spring Break this week too.

Edited: Hmm....hope they figure out what is going on with my nephew...no kidney stone but quite elevated blood in the urine, elevated white count (all from urinanlysis, not blood draw). Awful way to spend Spring Break.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
Hugs from:
Crazy Hitch, Iloveanimals25, June08, LadyShadow, Nammu
  #743  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 05:30 PM
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I took off early to get errands finished before my T appointment. I finished up early and got to the clinic about 20 minutes early. Her previous appointment skipped out so she took me back early. We had fun dishing on the republicans! But settled in for bipolar talk and meds. She always leaves me feeling so healthy.

Blueberry I hope your nephew comes though this ok. Ouch. That’s young for a kidney stone.
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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #744  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 05:38 PM
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I slept for about 45 minutes. I woke up and ate half a caulipower pizza for dinner and I'm watching the astronaut landing. I'm trying to figure out with my pdoc through the portal if its my blood pressure med causing all this fatigue and lack of motivation. Its the only new thing I'm on and my overall mental health is ok besides being down that I can't do much of anything.

My pdocs nurse said it does seem to be the BP med. I'll have to figure things out in the morning with my primary.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka

Last edited by Mountaindewed; Mar 18, 2025 at 06:12 PM.
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  #745  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 05:40 PM
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Oh, the American health system...after all day in the children's ER, they left with no answers but to follow up with a urologist. He has a yeast infection, but that would not have caused so much blood in his urine. Another theory is he had a kidney stone and already passed it. But my sister's frustrated....a whole day spent with zero answers and has to wait for a urologist to call to reschedule and hope my nephew does not start hurting again. Healthcare in this country sucks!
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
Hugs from:
Crazy Hitch, Iloveanimals25, June08, LadyShadow, Nammu, unaluna
  #746  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 06:36 PM
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a clinician quit at practicum today......should i apply for her position??
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haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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  #747  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 06:38 PM
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Hey @Blueberrybook - I am so sorry about your nephew and all your sister is going through, that's really rough, I hope they have some answers soon! As for me, today at the adoration chapel was a wakeup call. Catholics believe that the Eucharist is where Jesus is at all times, (the bread they give at mass), and I am really starting to believe that. They have the Eucharist in the adoration chapel, and I spent an hour talking to Jesus with Him telling me all the wonderful things in my life, and how much God has blessed me and how much He loves me. He says He has plans for me, and I shouldn't consume myself in my ex and to concentrate on Him.

Dating is a terrible idea right now, and I am trying to force it too much. I said for Lent I would give up the apps, but I felt weak and fell back into it. I have to be stronger. The gym is a great idea - Silver Sneakers pays for my membership at the YMCA and you know I don't even go? How horrible is that! I am learning that I put a lot into that relationship, too much, and I don't have enough self-worth to know I deserve better. I really need to work on that. But thanks girlfriend for the wonderful reply - maybe I will take up online dating again in a year or so - I think I am going to make Jesus my boyfriend from now on like my friend said to do. I need to get my power back, moreso my worth in the right place.

But Captain America was great! Treated myself to a medium popcorn and soda too! I really like $5 Tuesdays at my theatre. I don't know why this movie got such bad reviews; I liked it. I am glad you liked it too @Blue_Bird !!
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Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird, Nammu
  #748  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 07:09 PM
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Glad you enjoyed the Captain America movie @LadyShadow! I feel like most movies get bad reviews nowadays, it’s like nobody is ever satisfied with anything. I enjoy most movies that I go see. They’re entertaining and a fun escape for a couple hours, I’m definitely no film critic.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Crazy Hitch, Iloveanimals25, LadyShadow, Nammu
  #749  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 07:18 PM
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Sorry you went through all that @Blueberrybook

I’m just trying to decide what else to do tonight. It’s only 8:18pm right now. I’m pulling an all nighter cause I need to be up early tomorrow for something and I don’t trust myself to wake up with my alarm.

Probably some combination of reading, playing videogames and watching shows
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Iloveanimals25, LadyShadow, Nammu
  #750  
Old Mar 18, 2025, 07:29 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I'm listening to Mad World and I just feel something deep in my bones that doesn't feel right. I don't know anymore.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka
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