Bipolar Check-in #87

Happy St. Patrick’s day! We had a potluck in my building to celebrate the holiday today. Here’s the dessert dish they gave me after the main meal. And this bracelet I got too there.

It’s 2pm now. I have a dentist appointment at 4:15pm to re-cement a crown. Other than that not much going on. I took a 2-3 hour nap this morning.

I’m wearing a cream dress today and hoping like heck I don’t spill my coffee down the front like last time! Busy day at work today teaching 4 classes and a staff meeting after work. Then off to my son’s school for a school council meeting until 6:00pm so I’ll be back late tonight. I’m so tired I’ve been up since 3:30am thanks to my dog howling. It’s going to be a long day today!

Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody! I hope everyone is having a good day. My emotions are all over the place. I really miss my ex a lot. I was up late last night on chat sites and were talking to some people about it and crying. I wish I knew my worth more and wasn't so dramatic about everything.

Today has been a good day though, I made some progress at work, and I am going to my Catholic study later today. I also went to MeetUp.com and RSVP to some events happening in Raleigh next Saturday. One is a Monster Mash coffee talk the other is going to a Space Museum. I think it will be a lot of fun and it will get me out of the house to meet new people. Plus, it's supposed to be 70 degrees next Saturday, it should be fun, I am looking forward to it.

I just need to do all I can do to get over my ex. It is so crazy what I am doing to myself. Hopefully, this all gets better soon. Going to watch the Quiet Man on TCM tonight - John Wayne does a great St. Paddy's Day movie.

Oy! I had a ‘orble night. I even went to bed a half hour early. I tossed and turned the whole night though. I estimate that I got 3 hours of sleep. My head this morning in doing an accordion. My pillows ended up on the floor. When I woke up I was too tired to get up and spend another 2 hours just staring at the ceiling. Don’t know if I’ll get anything else done today! Green beer all around but don’t mind me if I skip!

Thank you for the hugs and well wishes. I really appreciate that. I’ve been trying to take care of the dog, mom and myself. Sister has been a big help. I hate that the cardiac tests have been pushed to April 30. If I need stents or something that doesn’t leave long before the Florida trip. I might have to stay home. I go back and forth on going anyway.

I take Bayer Back and Body for my back a lot and I think it has acted as a blood thinner. I look like I’ve been beaten with a baseball bat so it looks bad and hurts but that’s it. The ribs now - that’s another story. I’m going to rest one more day and then hit things hard on Wednesday.

I hope everyone is having a good St. Patrick’s day.

And she just called moving my appointment to the 28th of March.

I had a good dentist appointment. It was quick since he was just re-cementing a crown that had popped off. He made some adjustments to it too so now it fits a lot better so hopefully it stays on now. My new dentist is great. Much better than my previous dentist.

I was in and out in 15 min. They took me back early even though my appointment wasn’t until 4:15. So I ended up finished with my appointment before it was even supposed to start , at 4:08pm.

Since the cleaning was done last week and I don’t have any cavities I don’t have to go to the dentist again till October for my next cleaning.

Did my drawing. A feather and a piece of cake. 🍰 turned out pretty good. I find I’m much better if I wait til late afternoon to draw. Morning is just not for me. The 15 minute book is much better than the 364 day one.

My head though is still hungover from the lack of sleep. Tonight I should sleep well, I certainly hope so, I’ve T tomorrow and want to be able to converse.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Did my drawing. A feather and a piece of cake. 🍰 turned out pretty good. I find I’m much better if I wait til late afternoon to draw. Morning is just not for me. The 15 minute book is much better than the 364 day one. My head though is still hungover from the lack of sleep. Tonight I should sleep well, I certainly hope so, I’ve T tomorrow and want to be able to converse.

I'm glad you are liking the 15 min. book. That book is probably her best as far as in-depth shading and subject variety. Though I really liked the nature 15 min. book. I still need to try the creepy crawlies section. Absolutley loved the birds section. But for some reason, birds seem to come easily for me to draw.

Rolling over thoughts in my brain. I realize now how lonely I am and it sucks.

I'm frustrated about my weight and my laundry and just everything. I'm really overwhelmed right now. My mom is helping me with my jeans and I hung up some hoodies and shirts. My face hurts because a cheese burrito exploded a bit on my face. So now a part of my face is peeling and oozing. I'm annoyed that I have to wait yet another week for the eye doctor. I guess thats my main annoyance right now.

I'm thinking of looking around Iceland on my VR set. Or taking a roller coaster ride. I haven't user the VR set in months.

Changed my ukulele strings on my tenor ukulele. It takes a lot longer to change strings when you have cats.

Tomorrow I’m getting back to practicing violin. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow. It’s a video visit cause I don’t feel like going in person tomorrow.

I’m also making coffee for people in the building tomorrow morning. Gonna try to do some water color painting tomorrow too. Or acrylic. I’m not sure which yet. I feel pretty good today. It’s been a good day and I feel like tomorrow will be as well.

I’m taking my meds regularly and sleeping enough. My mood is stable. Anxiety is a lot lower than it typically is. I just feel calm and pretty happy, enjoying each day

Those sound like fun events you’re going to go to @LadyShadow I hope you have fun at them

Glad you’ve been drawing every day, that’s awesome I’ve been slacking a bit with it. Aside from the Mickey Mouse drawing yesterday I haven’t done much art the past week. But I plan on getting back to it regularly again. You and blueberry are very motivating

Internally freaking out. Ts going to fire me, h lies, I can't get comfortable, I'm disconnected, empty, isolated, paranoid, can hear the electric in the walls, everything in to loud, want to cry, can't write real sentences, honestly thinking the hospital is best before I implode, I don't want to tell anyone, , I don't want to be on medication, I don't want the shot, I need a reality check but have no one I trust.

I finally just said eff it and took my AM Geodon at 8PM. I took it last night at 10PM. Then the PM one today at 1PM. So it techially works out.

Not sure if I'm smelling puke from my pillow I need to wash or burnt skin from the burn on my mouth.

I'm trying to relax now. I keep picking up stuff in my room but its still not clean.

Great day teaching today. Had a kid yell "F____ you" when I told him he would need to leave class. He had been playing games on his device all session. If he doesn't get suspended I'll be pretty pissed off.

Feeling a little better than I did earlier. Got two emails in one day! I guess I should be happy, but I'm not. This is just really hard. Thanks so much @Blue_Bird I am hoping those events can help with this slump I've been in. My study was really good tonight. I want to start praying more and get closer to God, maybe that's what all of this means.

I'm not really sure what my mood is up to today. There were times when I felt hypomanic, a time when I felt mixed, and times when I felt stable. As I'm trying to wind down for the night, my brain feels a little all over the place and it is still hard to focus on one thing. But, I don't feel that bad-just a little worried about sleep. Last night, it took me a bit to fall asleep but, once I did, I slept decently.

Today was an okay day at school. I had one of those "kids can teach us a lot" moments today. I made a pretty big mistake with the new seating charts I made and accidentally placed a student next to someone they shouldn't be by (because of how poorly this person treats them). I wrote a little note to the student apologizing for my mistake and thanking them for telling me it was not a good spot for them so we could fix the issue. She gave me the note back to answer a question I had asked her and told me she forgives me. If only I could forgive that easily.

@LadyShadow I'm sorry you're feeling a little manic too. May it not last to long!

The kid who swore at me is getting a 1 day suspension.
Good.
He deserves to be suspended for saying "F_____ you"

Hello people! I am very groggy because I took my night meds some time ago.
need to hit the hay!
blessings be
Bizi

That's a great drawing! I'm sorry about dinner. I've found that a lot of husband's have like 10 projects going on at the same time. Both of my brother in laws are like that, lol.

I'm so sorry that all this happened to you! Big hugs! Does that Bayer for back pain work?

Heartbreak is very painful. You will make it through this!