Bipolar Check-in #87

The sunflower 🌻 was from the 364 book. It’s pretty simple, there’s no instructions no shading, just little sketches you copy. Always starts with a line or two, or maybe a circle. I much prefer the 15 minute sketch book. I’m not sure about the color pictures though as I have oil pastels, watercolor markers and ink pens. Not colored pencils though.

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Originally Posted by Nammu The sunflower 🌻 was from the 364 book. It’s pretty simple, there’s no instructions no shading, just little sketches you copy. Always starts with a line or two, or maybe a circle. I much prefer the 15 minute sketch book. I’m not sure about the color pictures though as I have oil pastels, watercolor markers and ink pens. Not colored pencils though.

You don't need expensive colored pencils for the colored pencils to work. The first 15 min. book I just used what was left of my daughter 24 count Walmart brand colored pencils, and it worked pretty well though of course the more expensive pencils don't break as easily and blend better with white.

My PCP is putting me on a different blood pressure med. I googled it and this one looks better. I was totally exhausted this afternoon and I fell asleep for over 2 hours. I feel a lot better now. I have therapy tommorow morning and I'm looking forward to it.

I got some burn cream. I'm hoping it looks better by tommorow. I've used it twice today.

saw my t tonight. he gave some great insight

Saw my only class for this morning. They were pretty good. Off now to see my psychologist.

I saw my pdoc Monday. She added another PRN dose of 12.5 mg Seroquel. That is actually helping I think (2 doses in). It means I'm getting something for anxiety about every 3-4 hours until my bedtime meds start to work. She doesn't want to make more changes until I see my family doctor about my physical health issues which are nearly daily migraines, nausea (beyond the migraines), back pain I can't explain, just not feeling good but not depressed, and swallowing difficulty I'll probably push to another appointment because I'm going in asking a lot. I haven't been in with an unwell visit in years. He does help a lot online but I've just not needed a sick visit in so long.

I thought it would easily be a week before I got in but I have an appointment tomorrow. I'm going to be so tired; this has been a busy week. Monday was 8 hours from leaving home until I got home from my pdoc in the big city. Tuesday was 5 hours round trip therapist and store. Today was 4 fillings. And my family doctor is back to the city where my therapist is. But hopefully I'll have some answers.

Both my psychiatrist and therapist have questioned if the migraines are hormonal. After my hysterectomy I had terrible migraines, much worse than this (because I am on magnesium now and am better at handling them when they start). I've been being checked every 6-12 months by the breast clinic to see if I'm showing signs of menopause because I need to be in menopause to go on a medication I need to reduce my risks. It's hard to get clear answer because of my hysterectomy but as of December things were all over the place and not showing any clear signs. But it may be time for another round of labs just in case. We'll see.

Has anyone seen @raspberrytorte ? How about @JaneOnceMore ? @MuddyBoots ? Haven't seen much from any of them recently.

Saw my psychologist today. He's "ending" our therapy sessions because I'm well enough to do this on my own. He's going to write to my GP to let him know our sessions have come to an end. If I need to, if things backslide, I can always call to make an appointment. Let's hope I stay away from this nasty disease called depression which is why I started seeing him in the first place.

Things are going well at work and work was my major trigger. Yes, I still have naughty students and yes I still feel anxious before I see them BUT my coping skills are different. I remove myself from the situation. It's like I'm watching it from a distance. And it makes a HUGE difference.

Scared and nervous for this new chapter in my life.

Thanks @Nammu!

@LadyShadow I hope you had a wonderful time in adoration. Today, my school had adoration for some of the students so i was also able to go. It was a nice little break in the day.

@Crazy Hitch you've got this!

I got most of my new apartment forms signed. I have to look more into the renter's insurance stuff tomorrow. This evening, I am completely drained. With my evenings been so full, it has been a long few days. The lease was also 40 pages long so that alone took a good amount of energy.

My anxiety did spike for a bit, so I think part of my exhaustion is a post anxiety crash. On my walk, my anxiety was so high I was feeling a little disconnected from myself (which was weird because I don't normally experience this). I did some grounding exercises and was feeling better by the end of my walk.

Thank you for those recipes!

Where is @Blue_Bird? Kinda worried.

Blue_bird was last online today ….

I’m here! Just been busy and haven’t had much to post

Yesterday my neighbor made corned beef and cabbage and gave me some. It’s so good. I also talked to my friend on the phone for an hour and a half which was nice.

Today I’m painting with some friends over video chat

Slept pretty decently. Mood is good

The burn does not look better. I put this aloe stuff on it 3 times yesterday and once this morning. I have therapy in a few hours and shes going to make a big deal out of it and be like "poor Mountaindewed!" Just leave me alone lady.

I'm feeling kinda blah today but I just need to get moving I think. I woke up at 3 and then I fell back asleep for half an hour or so until 6:30.

I'm hoping therapy will be helpful anyways today.

Effing people I went to high school with would be posting selfies of it on facebook instead of trying not to draw attention to it

I don't feel like going out today but doing telehealth won't make things any better. I just need to motivate myself somehow.

Hopefully my new blood pressure med will be in today. Even though I'm half asleep my BP is 135/97.

Doing pretty good today except I started my stupid period early. I should have known; yesterday I had a killer backache and that usually happens the day before I start my period.

I slept well last night. H's hiccups finally went away after hiccuping over 24 hr.! That would drive me crazy! I did a pilates video that was a bit on the tough side even though it was marked as beginner level. Showered, took out the trash, had breakfast, did a load of laundry. I read with the SAD lamp and drew 3 pics. Not sure how well anything turned out, but I guess the tarantula wasn't half bad. The flying pig I guess was okay for what it was. All in the creative corner.

I went to the library and picked up some books. One of them is a manga drawing guidebook. So I’m excited to start doing drawings from that

I got on the treadmill for 10 min and also took a 30 min walk outside.

Doing that painting session with my friends over video chat in a couple hours from now

I’m ready to move on with life. I’m over school. 5 more
Weeks!!

Therapy was kinda weird at the end. She was all like "Belvita time!" And pulled out a Belivita biscuit out of the box and began to eat it and she said "oh. These are different. These are soft baked."

Um. Ok.

Therapy really wasn't helpful. But it wasn't anything she was doing. I'm just down today.

I got my new blood pressure med. It doesn't have drowsiness listed as a side effect. It has some other werid side effects but as long as its not weight gain and I'm not sleeping half the day I don't really care. I read it can help with anxiety too.

My therapist is LGBTQ trained and she knew exactly what I meant when I said I liked Dolly Parton but I found her triggering.

Here’s the 2 paintings I did during the 2 hour paint session with my friends over video chat today

Awesome paintings @Blue_Bird! The cake and coffee make me wish I had some here! I may have to at least brew a cup of coffee

Cool painting blue bird!

I had some trouble getting to sleep last night but finally did and slept 8+ hours. I really need to do laundry. But what a pain. Really miss having a washer and dryer in the apartment. Went down today and played 10,000 for a while. Now just on the internet and reading.

Today went really well. Still agonizing over the email situation, but honestly, if I was home moping, it would have been a lot worse. I have been having some amazing times at adoration @June08 - really feeling the power of the Eucharist, and enjoying the study I am doing about it. Getting really ready for my baptism on Easter - it's going to be amazing.

@Blueberrybook - things have been really going well with me going to the gym. I can't believe the difference it is making. My Fitbit my friend got me for Christmas was really happy with my progress too, it's a cool little thing, lol. They renewed my YMCA membership, I didn't realize I was terminated, but I am still an active Silver Sneakers member, so it's all paid for.

I also had time to go to a meeting this afternoon and it was really good - we spoke about love and tolerance.

Things are going a lot better than I expected. I am still not over my ex, and I still do agonize over the emails, but it isn't how it was before where it was destroying the quality of my life. Taking full advantage of this Spring weather with all smiles!!

You look so wonderful @LadyShadow!

Thanks Nammu and Blueberrybook! I was craving cake and coffee when I made that one, I figured a nice raspberry chocolate cake and coffee sounded good so I painted one since I don’t have any and I just ran out of coffee today lol

Going to the hairdresser this morning to disguise my grey hairs. Hoping it doesn’t take too long because I want to come back and sleep. I’m awfully tired at the moment. I slept through the night but got up at 4:00am when my partner was leaving for work. Just exhausted.