Bipolar Check-in #87

@Brentus That is awful about the pharmacy! Someone trying to fight his drug addiction deserves respect. He could choose to keep wallowing in it instead of trying to better his life. Sounds like that woman was a jerk!

These are solid suggestions. Just be careful for med interactions with valerian because it's what valium is based off of, and if you're on stuff you shouldn't take with benzos (or are on benzos themselves) that's one you have to be cautious with.

I had a lot of good luck adding Clonidine to my mix for sleep. I had panic attacks before bed and nightmares every night and now I don't deal with any of that and sleep really well.

@Blueberrybook I don’t take melatonin or any supplements for sleep and I took trazadone a long time ago but it didn’t help. I just go through some phases where I struggle with my sleep it always resets back to normal though eventually. I just try to fix my sleep hygiene with less screen time etc. cause I don’t want to keep adding more meds or supplements. I already have the Thorazine for sleep. I suppose I could take one of my PRN klonopin if needed

Can I replace nail glue with super glue (I might have wood glue too) or is that really not recommended?

edit: nvm, super glue works

It’s been moving fast lately

I’m really paranoid about meds in general and supplements because of a bad experience with a med that caused me to end up in the ICU for 8 days with kidney failure and seizures, severe lithium toxicity at 19. I’ve almost developed a sort of fear of meds. I have a hard enough time taking my prescribed meds. I definitely can’t get myself to add anything extra lol

That's understandable. I try to keep to as little as I can too (ICU stay from lithium toxicity gang unite? ). It drives my pdoc nuts, but whatever, my body my choice applies here too.

@Blue_Bird You are so right; sleep hygiene is very important. I was going to mention one thing that helped me. I like reading, and I have found that using a booklight versus a lamp to read helps me a bit with falling asleep, I think because the room is darker that way. Of course, it only works if you are reading a physical book and not an ebook, but I know the rule is you are supposed to limit your exposure to screen light, not sure if ebook exposure is counted as screen time or not, you'd have to research that. But for physical books anyway, the darker I have the room, the better. I take my night meds and then read with the booklight until I start getting sleepy.

Ebook does count as screen time, but there might be a “night time” setting that doesn’t use blue light (the reason you’re not supposed to use screens at night).

Yes I came here to say super glue will work lol

@MuddyBoots I’m 22% through this workbook according to my kindle (the DBT for CPTSD one) and I have to say it’s really good so far! I’m learning a lot. I think this one would be more beneficial to you than that other one

It’s funny back in the day I had multiple problems with psych meds too. One interaction was so serious I ended up in the medical hospital for 3 days. I’ve had the not being able to pee problem and I blame psych meds for my gall bladder problems. Had surgery to remove it when I was still in my early 30’s. Then I read a book, no idea any more what the title was but it was about psych meds. Claimed you should never be given more than one new med at a time. That there should be a pause between meds of at least three weeks. I took that advice to heart. I wasn’t on any meds when I started my miracle drug, latuda. I did have side effects and switched from dinner time to bedtime and added sleep meds and the side effects were gone. I was just on those two meds for years. It was a miracle. I think pdocs are too quick to change meds and too eager to give more than one at the same time.

I think polypharmacy is too common. Also a lot of times diagnosing isn’t done thoroughly enough. I have been in mental health care since I was 14 years old and not once even despite knowing how I grew up did anyone ever mention the possibility of PTSD and I brought it up to my psychiatrist last week, now at 30 years old almost 31, and he was like yeah that makes a lot of sense and also explains why we have more difficulty than usual controlling my other symptoms with meds and he diagnosed it. And my therapist started EMDR with me several months ago and immediately asked about trauma when we started working together. I swear some doctors just slap the first diagnosis that comes to mind and don’t investigate further. Like sometimes there’s additional stuff going on that could be contributing to difficulties. Meds can’t solve everything. Therapy is important too

So agree. My first diagnosis was ptsd and depression. Even after being flagrantly manic they stuck to the depression diagnosis and kept putting me on AD. I couldn’t work on the ptsd with all the side effects from the drugs. I took myself off all drugs and just worked with a T to deal with the ptsd. That helped a lot until I had a severe episode and had to go back on meds. But with me controlling how many.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird I think polypharmacy is too common. Also a lot of times diagnosing isn’t done thoroughly enough. I have been in mental health care since I was 14 years old and not once even despite knowing how I grew up did anyone ever mention the possibility of PTSD and I brought it up to my psychiatrist last week, now at 30 years old almost 31, and he was like yeah that makes a lot of sense and also explains why we have more difficulty than usual controlling my other symptoms with meds and he diagnosed it. And my therapist started EMDR with me several months ago and immediately asked about trauma when we started working together. I swear some doctors just slap the first diagnosis that comes to mind and don’t investigate further. Like sometimes there’s additional stuff going on that could be contributing to difficulties. Meds can’t solve everything. Therapy is important too

You are right about the polypharmacy; I am definitely a victim of that as well as not being thoroughly diagnosed. I was treated for major depression through my 20s (though taken off meds during my pregnancy, which ended just before I turned 29). I saw doctor after doctor who just took the previous doctor's diagnosis and ran with it and never bother to re-assess the previous diagnosis. When my daughter was 6 weeks old, I went back to the psychiatrist, this time finally on private insurance. At first I was just diagnosed with postpartum depression until 8 months later I showed up in a full-blown manic state for an appt., which got me reclassified as bipolar I. After she retired, I got the medical records from my old pdoc; she was already questioning if I was bipolar by my 2nd appt. with her and had noted that she would re-assess in the future and it looked like she was going to reclassify me with bipolar II at the 9 month mark when I showed up super manic for an appt. and she decided that it had to be bipolar I. But she was the exception. No other pdoc I'd had before her had probed as deeply as she did, and she had a way with her that was very personal yet I felt was nonjudmental as well, kind of like "I have heard it all, whatever you tell me will not shock me" so that I felt safe in telling her things I was too embarrassed to tell pdocs before her. I was very lucky to have found her; she was beyond exceptional.

My point though is I think all those years of being treated with SSRIs instead of meds for bipolar did nothing but worsen my bipolar. The bad thing about the pdoc who classified my bipolar is that she was old school and got me on benzos and getting off benzos is pretty much what has me on polypharmacy now...sigh.

Yeah, and +1 for not having thorough diagnostics. My first diagnosis was my dad telling an NP “she’s hyper and gets sad and angry,” (what 17 year old doesn’t?) and he was all “yup, sounds like bipolar.” I feel like that diagnosis was only accurate through chance because I had never really been hypomanic and definitely not manic until after trying an SSRI. I was sooo clearly struggling with ADHD and bad environment, but “gifted” enough to do okay in school. BPD ]was never even mentioned until about a year ago at 27 years old. No one thought “ED” until it turned into bulimia and I straight up asked if it’s an issue if I eat a weeks worth of food and throw it up and my therapist was like, “uhhh how long have you been doing that?”but yeah, it was okay for my weight to be in the double digits because im athletic or some shiiit.

So many useless years of overmedicating for stuff not treated with medication . My bipolar isn’t even that bad, it just looked it because there was BPD, ADHD, PTSD, drug use, and disordered eating thrown in the pile with it that no one recognized. For PTSD screening they just started with “you have any trauma?” and of course I hadn’t been to war or stabbed so I said no. Practically everyone I knew growing up was in the same boat I was if not “worse,” (if you could objectively compare traumas which you really can’t). I wasn’t crying in bed every night “I want to go home,” because I was chemically imbalanced, I was doing that because I WANTED A REAL FREAKING HOME

You know, my first pdoc didn't acknowledge the ED either even though I told him I'd been going to therapy for an ED on my college campus. He just diagnosed me with major depression and social anxiety (remember how social anxiety was all the rage back in the late '90s?) even though my weight was also in the double digits. It was like the weight didn't even concern him at all.

Wow there are so many posts lately! I love it! Please forgive me if I don't get to everybody I want to. First off, congratulations on your book @raspberrytorte! I have been wanting to get my book done forever, just don't have the discipline to do it. @Brentus - I really hate that the pharmacist was so openly bias against someone struggling with drug addiction. That's so wrong on so many levels, including discretion and privacy with everyone's prescription. She needs to get fired.

I slept till 2pm again today. Not my finest hour. It was just such a busy weekend with the time change and everything. I know it affected a lot of people. I officially said my pledge at the cathedral and had the book I signed for my church we brought and got signed by the bishop in Raleigh. It was really a big deal, there were thousands of people there - we were all jam packed into the cathedral for the ceremony. It was such an experience though - this is such an exciting journey for me.

All in all, though, I feel really good. Money is tight right now, and my parents are considering moving to Florida - so it's something for me to consider. So, cool you watched Flow, @Nammu - I wanted to see that too. Wild Robot was such an amazing movie, and it didn't win any awards which was kind of disappointing. I might take myself on a date this week and go see the new Captain America, I have been meaning to go. I need to take myself out and treat myself more often, it's important.

Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

Talk about finally giving in to a weird food impulse; I had to finally break down and buy blue cheese. It's a pretty strange food craving. When I was a kid, my paternal grandmother would always serve saltine crackers and blue cheese to my sisters and me as a snack. I guess when you start eating something strong tasting like that as a kid, you can end up liking it, which I did. Had a bit just now, took me right back to my Granny's kitchen!

That never did work with beets for me though...ugh, my parents grew them in the garden and even if every single crop failed, the beets would always make! I hated them so much! So did both my sisters. We were always expected to eat all our fruits and vegetables (other foods my mom was more lenient on), and finally one time my middle sister was eating the beets, and they must have tasted so horrible to her, she threw them up and after that my mom started giving miniscule portions of beets to all 3 of us though I wished she would skip them altogether. I never could develop a paltate for beets as an adult even though I now like other foods I didn't care for as a child such as raw onion, bell pepper, olives. Big no on beets though! My sisters too told me neither of them can stand beets as adults either, not even my youngest sister who eats super healthy.

Cats got food, litter and treats, as a gift from my neighbor

I do not haha. (I was 0 years old in ‘96), but one thing I do hate is how at double digit lbs I have the memory of being called “healthy” by doctors but once clozapine did its job they were quick to point out “we have weight loss programs.” Haha, like I need help with that just take me off that shiiit and I’ll show you how to lose weight

@Blue_Bird That's so nice of your neighbor!

Speaking of kitties, here's a cute one of my cat Licorice sleeping belly up She's the only one of our 3 cats who sleeps this way. I think if you click on the pic it might enlarge; it's hard to see in the thumbnail format because she is all black, but I didn't want to take up a giant space posting it.

Here’s what my Conrad has been doing!

I was diagnosed depressed, intermittent explosive disorder, personality disorders, bipolar, eating disorder, mood disorder nos, bipolar 1, bipolar 2, w.psychosis, gad, trauma, adjustment disorder, Sza, now Sza+PTSD+ED(?). With me only 1 t read my former teams note. They all wanted to come to their own decision and their favorite meds. Now I say I've been diagnosed with a slew of things I feel I'm Sza and PTSD.

Licorice is adorable Blueberry!

And Muddy, Conrad looks like he’s full of personality