[Christine001]

dont know what i feel atm.

it all makes sense and now i should get help.

I am angry coz i have dealt with this all my life, I am scared of the stigma and people's reaction, I feel I am am inadequate person and a fiailure. Do I tell family and friends, i dont think they will undertsand only that they will feel vindicated for all the hassle i have given them.
Do I have to tell work? I work in mental health service and have done for years.

how did other people cope when they were told?

please help.

[tryingtobeme]

Originally Posted by Christine001

dont know what i feel atm.

it all makes sense and now i should get help.

I am angry coz i have dealt with this all my life, I am scared of the stigma and people's reaction, I feel I am am inadequate person and a fiailure. Do I tell family and friends, i dont think they will undertsand only that they will feel vindicated for all the hassle i have given them.
Do I have to tell work? I work in mental health service and have done for years.

how did other people cope when they were told?

please help.

Christine you are not alone. Yes you should get some help. DBT is the best therapy for you. You can manage BPD. I do every day. It's tough work but you can take charge of it and not let it control you.

The stigma for BPD is very strong. People here at PC know that BPD is real and that we are very strong people and that we can get through this. As far as telling family and friends. If you don't feel comfortable yet, please don't. Don't cause any unjust harm to yourself emotionally. You don't need that in your life.

I was told about 3 years ago and I was in shock. At first I was so scared to tell people, even today I am scared to tell certain people so I don't. Other's don't need to know. Only you and your doctors need to know.

I hope you will go and get help. With DBT therapy and medication, you can deal with this and have a good life. I wish you luck and please post as much as you need too. PM if you would like. Take care.

[Christine001]

Thanks,

I feel physically sick.

[tryingtobeme]

Originally Posted by Christine001

Thanks,

I feel physically sick.

Yes you can feel this way. I think the best for you is to seek out a pdoc and therapist. they can help you. Find a therapist that does DBT. Please keep posting if you need too.

At first I experienced lots of denial, but that never helps.
Despite the difficulty of BPD, and the stigma that comes with it, acceptance is key. This way, you can move towards recovery. It's totally your decision if you want to tell your family/friends. Personally, I did. But we all come from different situations. Your work does not need to know.
Key things towards recovery? I'd say one-on-one therapy is probably #1, followed by other methods such as medication or perhaps group sessions like the ones held here at PC.

You are not alone with how you feel. It is a daily struggle to have BPD, but you can learn to deal with some of the major issues in your illness and then you can live with this illness.

[Christine001]

Thanks melissa. recovering.
I have guessed for a while now, having read lots of stuff. but still feel in shock, physically feel sick.

[Christine001]

posting again coz i am so confused, angry they left me to cope with this on my own,
cant stop my brain, started on some meds to calm me down, hate taking anti-psychotics even if for the depression and to calm me.

had nightmares x 4 last night, woke at 5.30, its 8.30 here.

not sure how to cope with this and scared it will get to much and with SI.

[Christine001]

the pdoc is going to refer me for therapy, which will take several months and i do have a community nurse coming every week, so not left completely on own but on my own this weekend and this is bad for me, yet dont wnat to see people.

[Christine001]

i am posting new threads all over the place, this a several other forums. i am so confused and really dont want to be on my own.

people say there is a real stigma about this condition. one of my friends is saying no way thats no you. be careful who you tell.

if i let out all that i have kept hidden all my life will i cope and will there be enough good support to catch me if i fall?

[Perna]

I don't know who diagnosed you, but I would work with that person's help to take the next step and not bother with telling anyone until I had therapy in place and knew what I was working on, and it maybe became necessary, but even then I would just say things like "I need to leave early on Thursday to get to my therapy appointments" and not discuss myself with people I didn't wish to.

[Christine001]

really really confused about this diagnosis.

think its actually causing more distress and my identity which was fragile anyway is all over the place. darent speak to anyone in case i am saying something wrong.

how do i just go outside never mind talk to someone?

and yes denial is kicking in, they must be wrong, i am ok, its what other people have done to me, lots and lots, cant relax, thinking of self harming all the time.

[Christine001]

lots of mush going on in my head,

community nurse came today, nice man but no good at providing support, keeps going on about fme funding a way to motivate myself and planning my day.

SI several times, know i will again it helps with the feeling of emptiness.

As for bpd, today think that they have got it wrong and maybe in a crisis i loose control but most of the time i do absolutely fine. tommorrow or in an hour I mught feel different. basically i am doing this on my own, dont expect help and know its up to me.

fed up.

[dance59326]

Cristine001, tryingtobeme is right:
Christine you are not alone. Yes you should get some help. DBT is the best therapy for you. You can manage BPD. I do every day. It's tough work but you can take charge of it and not let it control you.

The stigma for BPD is very strong. People here at PC know that BPD is real and that we are very strong people and that we can get through this. As far as telling family and friends. If you don't feel comfortable yet, please don't. Don't cause any unjust harm to yourself emotionally. You don't need that in your life.

I don’t let anyone else know my diagnosis because I feel that it will hinder me away from others and I’m already antisocial from a lot of people, but for me, that’s ok.

I believe that DBT is the best type of therapy because this therapy is customized and aimed at treating BPD mainly and manages BPD and its symptoms. I highly suggest that you try this. I have been very inspired and am now going to be going to college for social work. I have just begun a DBT blog site which is an interactive one. You can request topics and I post pages on the topics, it's interactive which means that when you post a comment, I will post back using strength-based talk. I use it 2-3X a day. I will be doing an internship in the Spring at a psychiatric residential treatment facility and am very happy that I am moving on. I used to be extremely vulnerable, but am now moving past things and am pushing forward. Trust me, you can do this. Please keep in touch, I will help you with whatever you need and you can PM me anytime.
~ dance59326

[Christine001]

Life is really really hard for me atm, I am all over the place.

(((((((Christine001)))))))

[growlycat]

I don't know if this helps, but BPD isn't "you"-- you happen fit the criteria at this stage in your life. People with an illness are NOT the illness itself. And if you are in your teens, BPD is a controversial diagnosis as many aspects of being young LOOK like BPD.

I am in my late 30's but in my late teens, I was diagnosed as BPD and the label can feel devastating. However after treatment, I have been told that I no longer fit the BPD criteria. No need to let it define you.

Focus on feeling better and treatment/therapy and ignore the label as best you can!!

[Christine001]

Hi I am 47 the criteria fit me like a glove.

today I had some news from work and now i cant get it out of my mind, ruminating over things is something i do a lot.
it invades my mood and my life. cant seem to stop it.
distracction works for a short while but still comes back
very tiring. any ideas how therapy might help me with this?

[growlycat]

Sorry to get your age so wrong!!! But I stand by therapy being helpful!!!

Therapy can quiet the tumultuous feelings and give you a more "stable and secure" feeling!! Seriously, the BPD label is not helpful, it is a bit of a catch-all.

I personally found therapy more helpful than meds, but I do both. I hope the BPD label doesn't make you feel bad about yourself.

[Christine001]

thanks growlycat no problem, wish i had this knopwledge 20 years ago and the therapy to go with it.
probabaly wasnt ready to accept it though as was refered for psychotherapy, it took 2 years to get an appt and then i turned it down.

now waiting for therapy and need to do it for my children and me.

genarally feel bad about myself so really what has the diagnosis changed?

[Christine001]

I am going back to work today, not sure i will cope but have to try as need the money.

My psychiatrist used a wonderful analogy to illustrate how you can react to getting your personality disorder diagnosis.

Picture a wall. The wall is your disorder, your limitations. You can face the wall and keep staring at it. Knowing it wont budge and you wont get any further than that without feeling it's limits. The alternative is to use the wall to lean on with your back - facing the room. It will give you more stability and there is still a whole room in front of you to explore.

Acceptance is tough. But once you accept the limitations that go with your disorder you can make this knowledge about yourself a strength. Change what you cannot accept, accept what you cannot change.

[Christine001]

and can you do this on your own? and if you have noone whats the piont!

In my case I couldn't to that on my own and still need professional help. Things aren't much easier when you are on your own but then again no one can do this for you or in your place.

[kashmir0]

you have to remember that bpd does NOT define you. you are many more things then that. and, i know this sounds harsh but it is very true, the diagnosis cannot stop you from recovering. you will not have this the rest of your life. it takes hard work but it will get better, trust me. i've been to rock bottom too and i survived. it's going to take alot of work and courage and you will have setbacks but you can't let that get you down.

at first i used it as an excuse for not trying to get better. i skipped therapy. i developped a big drug problem. i skipped school and when i didn't, i got high and went to class. i was a ***** to everyone i cared about until i was alone. i didn't try to change my ways, i just spiralled down faster and faster until i realized my life was going nowhere and i needed to do something. you don't have to let yourself get to that point.