4) You know you are Borderline when...

...this thread and this entire forum resonates with you deeply. Wow am I glad to have found this.

when the people around you say you are getting better but all you can think about is getting out of there...

when people say you cannot have therapist but go on acting like they know everything about you like their **** is the best

When one bad event can cause your whole world to come crashing down. And you're not sure when it'll pick back up

Although you can remember feeling better, happy, and light-hearted, each time you go down you could swear that you're just not going to be able to make it back up again! Even if those positive times were just a couple of hours ago...you're convinced that it's the end.

I've been slowly retracting from social situations, place by place... now i'm onto forums... they'll be gone soon enough

When your brother-in-law comes over and checks out your liquor supply and invites you to exchange shots with him and you do so and it feels okay, even though you're almost 20 years older and you know deep inside that it isn't you.

Gotta love the chameleon.

...when you wake up in a great mood for no reason...the as you start the daily habit of reminding yourself about all the things in life you regret, how you have been a jerk to people, how other people use you in some way, how some people don't match your hopes and dreams, that you don't have any hopes and dreams, how you're not the best son or the best friend, you're not perfect in your job...and how you are somehow defective. Hey, why not have a few drinks at 8:00, call in sick, drink a little more...play a few video games then feel guilty for not working today . Then the shame comes rolling in and you believe (mistakenly) that you have always felt and will feel this way, and you wonder if life is worth living...

I've had too many of those days.

When you feel yourself getting insanely, irrationally angry and that it may cause you to do things that you will ultimately regret, but you don't know how to turn it off.....

When you obsess over the girl who left you like she's the parent who never showed you the love and affection you needed.

The more you try to connect with people, the more you feel as though you are just being a pain and bothering people, and the lonelier you feel.

When every day is an argument because you can't help the anger that wells up inside.

when you start crying in a counseling session then start laughing the next minute

Wow. Reading through these almost every one I've experienced at some point in my few years. Like today. Getting so mad and anxious about my mental health nurse (through insurance ) telling me I should go to the er because he thought I was suicidal. Or getting mad at my partner because I don't feel like she cares and if she goes to hang out with her family for the night I'm an emotional wreck because I think she doesn't love me anymore.

Nail. Head. Wow.

When you're perpetually sad, with only brief moments of anything above "fine". Especially when medicated into a near-Zombie like state.

You are feeling 'ready' to dig deep into your thoughts, feelings and past experiences in one counselling session and then completely shut down, numb and fully walled up the next session

When you're willing to do almost anything to help and keep a friend even though the "anything" could cost you "everything".

I am there with you on this. I get it.

You feel 'asshole' should be tattooed on your forehead because that's exactly how you see yourself and so does the person whom sees the full borderline side of you, everyday.

I hate being a borderline... The one thing all parts of me can agree on :-(

When a family argument seems like ancient history two hours later. Then it comes back to strangle you two days later.

Been there/done that more times than I can possibly tell you....

YKYBW: Love is the reason you go batshit crazy

....when you can't stand to have things just "sprung on you"
>>>when you can't hold down a job for very long because you're the only emplyee who needs to be told what's expected of you....
.....when you're sure your daughter is "spying" on you
......when you love a good mystery but hate surprises
.....when you love playing with people's heads but can't stand it when they do that to you

...been there, done that.....

You still have rage reactions. when will this end? Practice, practice. And when do you need to get angry? How do you know it's not bpd rage?

when Rachel (the author of Get Me Out of Here) was looking at her report after being released from the hospital, she got so upset about what that report said about her that she told her pdoc, "Why don't you just write "a__hole" on this..."

And I feel this way a lot, too.

thanks,

Carol