[GeorgiaGirl413]

Just wondering. BPD is supposed to be treatable and patients are supposed to be able to get better with the right T and the right treatment. So I am wondering...How many people here who have been diagnosed for 2 years or more feel like their condition has improved, or even that they are cured? Or do you feel that therapy really has not helped you at all.

[allme]

Hi, I was diagnosed with BP so haven't been getting the right treatment. Starting therapy soon I think...on a waiting list. Therapy is now my only hope. I hope to hear some positive stories Diagnosed BPD recently so haven't been getting the right treatment

[Luvmydog]

Therapy and treatment definitely helped me out for a while. Up until last year, my father passed and then two months later I was told that my contract with the school district would not be renewed, my symptoms were manageable. I was diagnosed in the late 90's, so for about a good ten years life wasn't easy but it was easier (if that makes any sense). It did take some time to get to that better place, though. I was in therapy for well over a year, and saw most of my breakthroughs during the latter stages of it. Is it possible to be cured? I dunno, but it is possible to improve if you are willing to work at it.

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

Just wondering. BPD is supposed to be treatable and patients are supposed to be able to get better with the right T and the right treatment. So I am wondering...How many people here who have been diagnosed for 2 years or more feel like their condition has improved, or even that they are cured? Or do you feel that therapy really has not helped you at all.

I don't think in the time I've been here that I've seen anyone claim to be "cured" ever. Now tbh I don't think that you can cure soemthing like this. it's more of "are you getting along well in life in spite of your traits?" or "are you coping with them well?"

For me, right now I dont' think it's a cure I've found but I have found a bit of peace and unfortunately I think I know what the cause is... it's that I'm not in any kind of relationship that is too deep and meaningful, I'm not in love, not attached to anyone. I think that's the main thing.. but the unfortunate part is I do like being atttached, in love and all that..

I think there is some peace and balance people can find in spite of the traits of BPD and even to the point of feeling like it's in "remission" for lack of a better word. I don't think anything is permanent and even when one finds this place, i think there always stands the risk to relapse if something out of the ordinary happens. It's a life long journey IMO.

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by Luvmydog

Therapy and treatment definitely helped me out for a while. Up until last year, my father passed and then two months later I was told that my contract with the school district would not be renewed, my symptoms were manageable. I was diagnosed in the late 90's, so for about a good ten years life wasn't easy but it was easier (if that makes any sense). It did take some time to get to that better place, though. I was in therapy for well over a year, and saw most of my breakthroughs during the latter stages of it. Is it possible to be cured? I dunno, but it is possible to improve if you are willing to work at it.

My opinion is very much the same. I do not think that BPD is curable, but you can learn to cope, live with it, not suffer as many traits, and and live a happier life. I think much of BPD for many of us is based on circumstances. Like Luvmydog said, it was better until life events got in the way.

As for me, I had significant BPD as a teen and in to my 20's. I didn't know what I had, thought I was "normal" through the entire thing. Whenever I brought up that I thought something was wrong I was told otherwise. So I attempted to act "normal" and I never talked about it.

As time progressed, I got married, life settled down, and so did the traits. Never perfect. I was suicidal when I had issues at work for a while, I disassociated when I faced a class of horrible kids, and fell apart after my dad died and my mom disowned me. I didn't get any help throughout any of it. I'd be a mess for a while and would then get where I could cope again. Most people were none the wiser to most of it. I also had no friends. I pushed away any one who attempted to get close for a very, very long time. So I had no friends but I could cope moderately well.

Then, about a year and a half ago, I made a friend. I felt I needed to...very long story. In an extremely short amount of time, everything came back. It started with flashbacks of how I was as a teen and how I'd been abused/neglected at home when I was young and within literally a day or two it had all returned, and due to circumstances, it hasn't gotten much better. I have more good days than I did a year ago, but with my work and current circumstances, it's been very very hard to get "stable". I'm hoping once I have a job away from home my life will be looking up. I know not everything will go away. I'll always be subject to this stuff, but it should go a long way in making it something I can cope with better.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Maranara

My opinion is very much the same. I do not think that BPD is curable, but you can learn to cope, live with it, not suffer as many traits, and and live a happier life. I think much of BPD for many of us is based on circumstances. Like Luvmydog said, it was better until life events got in the way.

As for me, I had significant BPD as a teen and in to my 20's. I didn't know what I had, thought I was "normal" through the entire thing. Whenever I brought up that I thought something was wrong I was told otherwise. So I attempted to act "normal" and I never talked about it.

As time progressed, I got married, life settled down, and so did the traits. Never perfect. I was suicidal when I had issues at work for a while, I disassociated when I faced a class of horrible kids, and fell apart after my dad died and my mom disowned me. I didn't get any help throughout any of it. I'd be a mess for a while and would then get where I could cope again. Most people were none the wiser to most of it. I also had no friends. I pushed away any one who attempted to get close for a very, very long time. So I had no friends but I could cope moderately well.

Then, about a year and a half ago, I made a friend. I felt I needed to...very long story. In an extremely short amount of time, everything came back. It started with flashbacks of how I was as a teen and how I'd been abused/neglected at home when I was young and within literally a day or two it had all returned, and due to circumstances, it hasn't gotten much better. I have more good days than I did a year ago, but with my work and current circumstances, it's been very very hard to get "stable". I'm hoping once I have a job away from home my life will be looking up. I know not everything will go away. I'll always be subject to this stuff, but it should go a long way in making it something I can cope with better.

BTW, checked out your blog. ATM's had me LMAO. But you didn't tell us how you got to Idaho (no, you da ho) In the first place (or did I miss it)

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

BTW, checked out your blog. ATM's had me LMAO. But you didn't tell us how you got to Idaho (no, you da ho) In the first place (or did I miss it)

We drove here over the course of 4 days with a load of pets. If you go to the beginning you'll see it. As for the why....that's a very hard one to explain. My husband had relatives here and wanted to move for some time. He left the ultimate decision to me.....

As for me....let's just say it was an impulsive decision to "get away" and to avoid being arrested (I was threatened with harrassment charges and a restraining order.) Yep...the end of a long, sordid tale... Relationship issues/clinginess at it's best.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Maranara

We drove here over the course of 4 days with a load of pets. If you go to the beginning you'll see it. As for the why....that's a very hard one to explain. My husband had relatives here and wanted to move for some time. He left the ultimate decision to me.....

As for me....let's just say it was an impulsive decision to "get away" and to avoid being arrested (I was threatened with harrassment charges and a restraining order.) Yep...the end of a long, sordid tale... Relationship issues/clinginess at it's best.

Well, the blog is still cool. You really are a talented writer.

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

Well, the blog is still cool. You really are a talented writer.

Well, thank you. It's greatly appreciated. Maybe I'll eventually get one of the seven books I've written (or at least started) published.

Not I, said the little red hen.

To be fair, I haven't been in DBT so I haven't been getting the exact right treatment. Maybe DBT would help, but I simply can't afford it. But I've been in therapy on and off for 20 years, and I feel that I've been steadily declining that whole time. I do not believe that, for me, it is about BPD per se but more about those core beliefs that therapy tries to change (I mentioned this way back in another post). For me, they simply aren't changing. I grew up thinking I was worthless, unlovable, etc, etc, and I don't know how to change that when I feel those beliefs being validated nearly every day of my life. How exactly is therapy going to change that?

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Not I, said the little red hen.

To be fair, I haven't been in DBT so I haven't been getting the exact right treatment. Maybe DBT would help, but I simply can't afford it. But I've been in therapy on and off for 20 years, and I feel that I've been steadily declining that whole time. I do not believe that, for me, it is about BPD per se but more about those core beliefs that therapy tries to change (I mentioned this way back in another post). For me, they simply aren't changing. I grew up thinking I was worthless, unlovable, etc, etc, and I don't know how to change that when I feel those beliefs being validated nearly every day of my life. How exactly is therapy going to change that?

When you have the chance, go to a bookstore and look at the dbt workbooks. I recommend the store so you can actually flip through them. See if any of them might be worth trying out...can't hurt. I wouldn't recommend buying them at the bookstore. You can usually get them cheaper on abebooks or eBay.

[allme]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Not I, said the little red hen.

To be fair, I haven't been in DBT so I haven't been getting the exact right treatment. Maybe DBT would help, but I simply can't afford it. But I've been in therapy on and off for 20 years, and I feel that I've been steadily declining that whole time. I do not believe that, for me, it is about BPD per se but more about those core beliefs that therapy tries to change (I mentioned this way back in another post). For me, they simply aren't changing. I grew up thinking I was worthless, unlovable, etc, etc, and I don't know how to change that when I feel those beliefs being validated nearly every day of my life. How exactly is therapy going to change that?

Oh my So sorry you feel this way about yourself. I fear that they wont be able to change my core beliefs about myself either. If you were near me I would give you a huge hug I also feel validated in my own beliefs often but it's all about perception and you have to try and hold on to the thought that you don't perceive yourself as you should and because of that you will see everything in a different way and not seeing what really is in front of you. You come across lovely, that's all I know. I think you should know it too

[Trippin2.0]

I haven't had any therapy, I've been researching extensively and using suggestions I find right here though.

While I don't believe in a cure, my behaviours dissapear when I have zero relationships that I'm heavily emotionally invested in...

The first 3 years of my relationship was brutal (on bf mostly) I was BPD to the max, drove the poor man to the hills every 3 months or so. He'd go silent for like 2 weeks, trying to process my crazy and lick his wounds, but always came back when he felt safe again...Then after the most crazy (and delusional) outburst to date, he ran away for a full year Gawd I thought my life was over, but I honestly don't blame him, he must have been terrified and very hurt.

Anyway, we've been back together for 9 months now and I have drastically improved on a LOT of my bpd behaviors. I challenge the negative paranoid thoughts, eg. when he doesn't reply instantly, I say "He's busy Lia, doesn't mean you're unimportant"...I also regularly practice opposite actions. eg. When I want to call and text incessently just to abuse him after an argument, I choose to switch off my phone and put it in a drawer... I also keep a list of evidence to scour through when I'm splitting, to remind myself that he does love me that this is real.

It's not easy, I'll be the first to admit it, but the payoff is worth it, and keeps me trying.

He is my very own exposure therapy right now, we have a mutual agreement that he doesn't entertain or enable the bpd, which in turn helps me process and correct my distortions at a faster pace. It also helps me realize over and over that not tantrumming will not be the end of me, I will not actually explode if I don't have the last meanest word, etc...

If he even gets a whiff of me trippin balls, as the officially appointed bomb diffuser in this relationship (because I'm unable to "walk away" ) he declares a timeout. This means no contact until I'm calm. Sure I slip up here and there, but I've been lucky enough to catch myself before causing more damage... so yay me

The challenge for me now though is, I get exhausted every 2 months or so from "fighting my nature" and have meltdowns like clockwork... I'm still learning to navigate those.

I have to say the evidence shows that I have improved, after all, he's not run away in 9 months so really wanting to try DBT, but will have to work solo as I quit my job today, just as I was seeking out a therapist for the first time ever. Go figure.

Sorry, I really didnt mean to babble, but its been so long since I've been "vocal" hpe you guys do't mind

[allme]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I haven't had any therapy, I've been researching extensively and using suggestions I find right here though.

While I don't believe in a cure, my behaviours dissapear when I have zero relationships that I'm heavily emotionally invested in...

The first 3 years of my relationship was brutal (on bf mostly) I was BPD to the max, drove the poor man to the hills every 3 months or so. He'd go silent for like 2 weeks, trying to process my crazy and lick his wounds, but always came back when he felt safe again...Then after the most crazy (and delusional) outburst to date, he ran away for a full year Gawd I thought my life was over, but I honestly don't blame him, he must have been terrified and very hurt.

Anyway, we've been back together for 9 months now and I have drastically improved on a LOT of my bpd behaviors. I challenge the negative paranoid thoughts, eg. when he doesn't reply instantly, I say "He's busy Lia, doesn't mean you're unimportant"...I also regularly practice oposite actions. eg. When I want to call and text incessently just to abuse him after an argument, I choose to switch off my phone and put it in a drawer... I also keep a list of evidence to scour through when I'm splitting, to remind myself that he does love me that this is real.

It's not easy, I'll be the first to admit it, but the payoff is worth it, and keeps me trying.

He is my very own exposure therapy right now, we have a mutual agreement that he doesn't entertain or enable the bpd, which in turn helps me process and correct my distortions at a faster pace. It also helps me realize over and over that not tantrumming will not be the end of me, I will not actually explode if I don't have the last meanest word, etc...

If he even gets a whiff of me trippin balls, he calls a timeout as the appointed bomb diffuser, as I obviously can't just walk away... This means no contact until I'm calm. Sure I slip up here and there, but I've been lucky enough to catch myself before causing more damage... so yay me

The challenge for me now though is, I get exhausted every 2 months or so from "fighting my nature" and have meltdowns like clockwork (could also be fueled by my bipolar dx, I doubt it though)... I'm still learning to navigate those.

I have to say the evidence shows that I have improved, after all, he's not run away in 9 months so really wanting to try DBT, but will have to work solo as I quit my job today, just as I was seeking out a therapist for the first time ever. Go figure.

Sorry, I really didnt mean to babble, but its been so long since I've been "vocal" hpe you guys do't mind

No of course not! Yay to you! It seems you have found some ways of controlling BPD behaviour. I picked up on the phone thing, it drives me mental calling and texting him abuse after an argument.

Why did you quit your job, if you don't mind me asking?

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by allme

No of course not! Yay to you! It seems you have found some ways of controlling BPD behaviour. I picked up on the phone thing, it drives me mental calling and texting him abuse after an argument.

Why did you quit your job, if you don't mind me asking?

I'm learning to avoid those scenarios where work worsens my symptoms unneccessarily to avoid causing myself huge meltdowns. So it's not that I can't work, I just actively refuse to work in an environment that will ultimately cause me harm...
Before I didn't realize this and worked myself into a frenzy and then quit for seemingly stoopid reasons. I'm trying a more pre-emptive approach these days...

Basically my boss redefined my position due to strucural changes. She proposed me taking over a percentage of my managers duties, adding 2 more managers to assist with the same amount of duties each, plus the work I already do, without upping my salary.

I could have ultimately handled the stress but an insane workload for peanuts would have caused a bipolar episode of epic proportions a few months down the line. Work would have been none the wiser while I suffer with being triggered and put my daughter through witnessing yet another huge episode. One that could've been avoided at that.

Not something I'm willing to do. I was frank with her, told her " If I knew you were advertising a "run things" job I would've asked for "run things" salary, but you advertised an assistant position. You're paying me the same amount of money my brother gets to explain phone specs and you want to add atleast twice the workload for the same pay? Thanks but no thanks, I'll end up being a miserable b!tch on steroids and leave a sour taste in both our mouths, and I really don't want to do that."

They had a longa.s.s managers meeting and decided they couldnt afford to increase my pay, so I said good bye to everyone and left...

[allme]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I'm learning to avoid those scenarios where work worsens my symptoms unneccessarily to avoid causing myself huge meltdowns. So it's not that I can't work, I just actively refuse to work in an environment that will ultimately cause me harm...
Before I didn't realize this and worked myself into a frenzy and then quit for seemingly stoopid reasons. I'm trying a more pre-emptive approach these days...

Basically my boss redefined my position due to strucural changes. She proposed me taking over a percentage of my managers duties, adding 2 more managers to assist with the same amount of duties each, plus the work I already do, without upping my salary.

I could have ultimately handled the stress but an insane workload for peanuts would have caused a bipolar episode of epic proportions a few months down the line. Work would have been none the wiser while I suffer with being triggered and put my daughter through witnessing yet another huge episode. One that could've been avoided at that.

Not something I'm willing to do. I was frank with her, told her " If I knew you were advertising a "run things" job I would've asked for "run things" salary, but you advertised an assistant position. You're paying me the same amount of money my brother gets to explain phone specs and you want to add atleast twice the workload for the same pay? Thanks but no thanks, I'll end up being a miserable b!tch on steroids and leave a sour taste in both our mouths, and I really don't want to do that."

They had a longa.s.s managers meeting and decided they couldnt afford to increase my pay, so I said good bye to everyone and left...

Well that's just not right and would of done the same thing! Certainly wasn't fair at all. I left work nearly 4 yrs ago and have never looked back. I now work from home and I am completely fine with that. Working outside was a traumatic even 99% of the time. I was paranoid, anxious and miserable. Hopefully one day I will find a way to be with ppl but for now I will stay in my bubble.

It was a huge decision you made today, I genuinely hope it works out for you Are you planning on seeking out another job or taking a break for now?

[Trippin2.0]

Thank you I'm going back and forth between proud and ashamed I didn't try it...
Bubbles are nice, wish I had one, but if its your goal to leave your bubble, then I do hope you reach it soon

I would really like a break, haven't had anything longer than weekends and 1 week sick in like 14 months, but I need to work. Ideal situation is if my brother's boss hires me, because he'll only need an assistant to start in October when he starts his new position... I could cross my fingers and I will, but job hunting is on the to do list. I have promised myself a week to myself actively NOT stressing about it though.

Sometimes I don't want to work at all. Not the I don't feel like it kind, but more the "every fibre in my being" doesn't think I should continue to subject myself to this "This" being dealing with people, leaving my room early morning in the cold

But I don't have a choice, work I must. Who will feed and clothe my princess if I stayed home??? Obviously not her useless sperm donor Thats a lost cause and making her bf's responsibility is not something I'll ever be comfortable with, no matter how much he loves her.

Working from home would be ideal, I wish I could do that but I come up blank everytime I try, there's so many scams online. I don't have a PC or internet access right now, so to invest so much money in a gamble is way too risky when I have zero disposable income... If I already had the laptop and internet it wouldn't be a big deal, but yeah.

[allme]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Thank you I'm going back and forth between proud and ashamed I didn't try it...
Bubbles are nice, wish I had one, but if its your goal to leave your bubble, then I do hope you reach it soon

I would really like a break, haven't had anything longer than weekends and 1 week sick in like 14 months, but I need to work. Ideal situation is if my brother's boss hires me, because he'll only need an assistant to start in October when he starts his new position... I could cross my fingers and I will, but job hunting is on the to do list. I have promised myself a week to myself actively NOT stressing about it though.

Sometimes I don't want to work at all. Not the I don't feel like it kind, but more the "every fibre in my being" doesn't think I should continue to subject myself to this "This" being dealing with people, leaving my room early morning in the cold

But I don't have a choice, work I must. Who will feed and clothe my princess if I stayed home??? Obviously not her useless sperm donor Thats a lost cause and making her bf's responsibility is not something I'll ever be comfortable with, no matter how much he loves her.

Working from home would be ideal, I wish I could do that but I come up blank everytime I try, there's so many scams online. I don't have a PC or internet access right now, so to invest so much money in a gamble is way too risky when I have zero disposable income... If I already had the laptop and internet it wouldn't be a big deal, but yeah.

Well I will keep all my fingers and toes crossed for you! I hope you manage to have a stress free and relaxing time off while you are waiting on a new job. And hopefully that fella will make it happen for October!!! Let us know how that goes! Wishing you the best of luck!!!

[Trippin2.0]

Thank you!!!