Just did something terribly stupid

And yes I did .....I sent a friend request to ex t who used to be on my friends list until I deleted him....its the one who kissed me...and I only sent a request to get back at hubby. I am so fricking stupid but it's all I could do to get rid of some anger.

Turning out not to be a nice person right?

You're still a nice person. Impulsive, sure. not like you did something irreversible.

but I will say this.. I know you nneed a way to vent the anger. try to redirect it toward thigns that are not vengeful. that will always get into trouble and make you regret it.

Yes very impulsive .....I don't know any other way to control my anger. I do anything to try and get rid of it even if it means hurting others

If he thinks he can come back here he has another thing coming Now I just did another stupid thing.....well that drug I have been off for 2 weeks, I have just ordered some. I can't stand this feeling of anxiety and anger all in one I cant bare it

I aint letting him back through the front door, I am just gonna get high. I have tried so hard but can't handle these emotions. They suck to hell and back. Sod it. I tried, I failed. So what.

what drug is that?

Sounds like something I would do.. why are you angry?

it's in her other post .. here

subutex ...it's a heroin substitute...but never been on heroin. I can't take it I really can't. He finally turned his phone on and all I did was scream abuse at him so he turned his phone off again I ******* hate him right now and really want to hurt him in some way. I am shaking with anxiety and anger, I can really feel it over flowing and I just can't stop it. It wont stop until I see him and have it out with him.

HE will pay for this the ******* twat

I understand, truly I do. I've done this. but seriously hun, you gotta do something to calm down. call your doc or something if you can. Thing is, he's not doing anything to you, right now he's protecting himself from your tyrade. It's perfectly fair but I know it's frustrating... don't do the drug please and cancel that order if you can. Not gonna help you.

true dat.

a BS'er? And why am I one of those?????????????????? I have been completely honest with how I feel and what I have done and doing looking for support and a sensible voice and you want to mention bs?????????? You know what, I am done. I am logging off now. Thanks for absolutely nothing but thank you sandman for talking with me you have been helpful.

I have been honest with everything so why would you say that. Yes i want to hurt myself, yes i want to hurt my husband and yes i have ordeered drugs what is so hard to understand

Just becasue you have sadi a few simple words doesnt mean i am going to stop feeling this way hence me keep posting how dare you call me a bs'er

I don't think she meant bs'er as in you're making it all up.. maybe I'm wrong. the way I took it is that sometimes we tend to scream and yell and get really worked up but other people give advice and we ignore it... I dk I didn't think it was her trying to be rude.

I hope you call someone, doctor or someone.. I can tell you're spiralling and it's not a good sign please get help sweetie before it explodes into something bigger.

But then you mention words just after like manipulate? I just don't understand what you think I am doing. I am going crazy that is what's happening. I don't want you to feel like you can't post to me but when someone is obviously losing it the last thing they want to hear is BS and manipulate. I am fully aware I have manipulated ppl in my life, not that I am proud of it, but here I told you all in another post I just want to be myself and be honest. I am not looking for attention, yes someone to talk to but not the attention you are thinking of. You have really confused me.

I usually love your input.

Well i think part of her response is also saying it totally didnt' come out right too.. I am sure she means well..

Thank you but it already exploded. My husband came in and I went crazy, I was foaming at the mouth crazy to the point he grabbed me by the neck. I don't blame him really I was being vicious. Now I am calm. But tomorrow I will feel the pain of it. Right now I am just calm and feel like I have let it all out. I have my drugs and that's it for me tonight. Tomorrow I will look at the situation again with hopefully a nicer me to tow. But for now this is me. I told you not very nice. I am sorry for all the posting but felt at crisis point and needed someone to talk to. Thank you.

Yes I actually really like her and like her input, my head is not right at the minute. I am sorry if I read it wrong but really, right now, I could take anyone wrong.

Please feel better and don't do drugs or anything to harm yourself.

Come at me bro. I dare ya to take me wrong

Huh I nearly did .....lol

Have calmed down after having it out with hubby thanks ...quite unhealthy the it happened but it happened