...to have someone whose house I could go to and feel loved.

I wish that I could go to someone's house and have dinner. Like, have someone cook me dinner. I don't ever cook for myself because it's just me, and it's way too much effort. I only have energy for short bursts. So I haven't eaten a nutritious home-cooked meal in...I don't know how long. Since probably Easter. It would even be nice to just go to someone's house and sit and have them bring me a cup of tea and talk to me.

Does this sound silly?

I spend so much time--all of my time when I'm not working--alone and not talking to anyone (unless I talk to my cats). I have a couple of people who will hang out with me if I ask them to, but don't really seek me out. I just want to matter to people, beyond my ability to do a good job at work. I don't want to feel like, if I disappeared tomorrow, people wouldn't really notice. But I truly think that's the reality.

I envy people who have even a little bit of a support system...

[allme]

Originally Posted by misskeena

...to have someone whose house I could go to and feel loved.

I wish that I could go to someone's house and have dinner. Like, have someone cook me dinner. I don't ever cook for myself because it's just me, and it's way too much effort. I only have energy for short bursts. So I haven't eaten a nutritious home-cooked meal in...I don't know how long. Since probably Easter. It would even be nice to just go to someone's house and sit and have them bring me a cup of tea and talk to me.

Does this sound silly?

I spend so much time--all of my time when I'm not working--alone and not talking to anyone (unless I talk to my cats). I have a couple of people who will hang out with me if I ask them to, but don't really seek me out. I just want to matter to people, beyond my ability to do a good job at work. I don't want to feel like, if I disappeared tomorrow, people wouldn't really notice. But I truly think that's the reality.

I envy people who have even a little bit of a support system...

((((((((((((((((((Misskeena))))))))))))))))))

Aww lovey, if you were close to me I'd invite you round to dinner with tea and a good damn girls chat! I know how it feels to feel lonely So sorry you're feeling like this. But if it's any consolation, we're always here for you and I for one will always have time for you Maybe try hanging out with ya buds more? Invite them round to yours for dinner and then hopefully the invite is returned?

I am often left alone in the house when my hubby is out and I work from home so don't see many ppl at all. Sometimes for days and weeks I may go with only seeing my hubby in the evenings. So I can understand. But yes totally understand that need to be wanted, to be invited round and looked after, for sure I can understand.

And no it doesn't sound silly at all!!

Sending you much love and hugs

Originally Posted by allme

((((((((((((((((((Misskeena))))))))))))))))))

Aww lovey, if you were close to me I'd invite you round to dinner with tea and a good damn girls chat! I know how it feels to feel lonely So sorry you're feeling like this. But if it's any consolation, we're always here for you and I for one will always have time for you Maybe try hanging out with ya buds more? Invite them round to yours for dinner and then hopefully the invite is returned?

I am often left alone in the house when my hubby is out and I work from home so don't see many ppl at all. Sometimes for days and weeks I may go with only seeing my hubby in the evenings. So I can understand. But yes totally understand that need to be wanted, to be invited round and looked after, for sure I can understand.

And no it doesn't sound silly at all!!

Sending you much love and hugs

I'm embarrassed to say this but...I have trouble keeping up my house. I'm behind on cleaning. It's not terrible (I don't have like, bugs or anything) and I'm not ready for an episode of "Hoarders" but I would never want to invite anyone over. Besides, like I said, I don't cook. And there is more to do outside of the house than in; my friends and I always just meet at a coffee place or a restaurant. We always have. I just wish that they'd return the invite, you know? I ask them to meet up with me, but then I wait and it could be weeks and I won't hear from them. So then I contact them again...they're always willing and even happy to see me, I just really wish that they would initiate contact with me.

I don't know, I've posted about being lonely many times. I guess that's not totally the point. Everyone here probably knows that I'm lonely by now. I wish that I could, just for a little while, be taken care of. I know this sounds childish but it would be nice. I have no real close family and, like I said, no support system and...yeah. It would be nice. I think a lot of people here on this forum have at least some place to go when things get rough. I don't. It sucks.

[allme]

Originally Posted by misskeena

I'm embarrassed to say this but...I have trouble keeping up my house. I'm behind on cleaning. It's not terrible (I don't have like, bugs or anything) and I'm not ready for an episode of "Hoarders" but I would never want to invite anyone over. Besides, like I said, I don't cook. And there is more to do outside of the house than in; my friends and I always just meet at a coffee place or a restaurant. We always have. I just wish that they'd return the invite, you know? I ask them to meet up with me, but then I wait and it could be weeks and I won't hear from them. So then I contact them again...they're always willing and even happy to see me, I just really wish that they would initiate contact with me.

I don't know, I've posted about being lonely many times. I guess that's not totally the point. Everyone here probably knows that I'm lonely by now. I wish that I could, just for a little while, be taken care of. I know this sounds childish but it would be nice. I have no real close family and, like I said, no support system and...yeah. It would be nice. I think a lot of people here on this forum have at least some place to go when things get rough. I don't. It sucks.

I have the same with my friends, it's always me that contacts them! Saying that, I think they know how up and down I am so leave me to it until I contact them and then they know I am fit to meet etc. But anyway, how would you cope with a class of some sort? Evening class in something? Such a great way to meet new ppl and make new friends but saying that, I for one wouldn't have the confidence to do something like that! Would you?

And no, it really doesn't sound childish! Not to me anyway!

[Hong Kong Fluey]

Originally Posted by misskeena

.
I envy people who have even a little bit of a support system...

Me too x

I know that pain. For pain it is

Originally Posted by allme

I have the same with my friends, it's always me that contacts them! Saying that, I think they know how up and down I am so leave me to it until I contact them and then they know I am fit to meet etc. But anyway, how would you cope with a class of some sort? Evening class in something? Such a great way to meet new ppl and make new friends but saying that, I for one wouldn't have the confidence to do something like that! Would you?

And no, it really doesn't sound childish! Not to me anyway!

Eh, I've been in school most of my adult life. I've maxed out on student loans and now owe a huge amount of money to the gov't in loans (and am having trouble making the payments, but will be paying for decades). I posted on here about it I think before you came here, how I was supposed to go back to nursing school next May but have no way to pay for it so...I'm basically screwed. Yeah, sorry, school is a sore subject.

Sorry, everything anyone can say to help me I've probably already thought of. I'm kind of a lost cause. This is why my T and I agreed to discharge me from therapy--I wasn't progressing because there really is no way to help me. I'd been in therapy with her for over a year and she said that there was really nothing we had done in our time together that made a difference...

Anyway.

[allme]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Eh, I've been in school most of my adult life. I've maxed out on student loans and now owe a huge amount of money to the gov't in loans (and am having trouble making the payments, but will be paying for decades). I posted on here about it I think before you came here, how I was supposed to go back to nursing school next May but have no way to pay for it so...I'm basically screwed. Yeah, sorry, school is a sore subject.

Sorry, everything anyone can say to help me I've probably already thought of. I'm kind of a lost cause. This is why my T and I agreed to discharge me from therapy--I wasn't progressing because there really is no way to help me. I'd been in therapy with her for over a year and she said that there was really nothing we had done in our time together that made a difference...

Anyway.

Sorry to hear that Probably already thought of it but how about a fitness class or something, anything that gets you out to meet new ppl?

Originally Posted by allme

Sorry to hear that Probably already thought of it but how about a fitness class or something, anything that gets you out to meet new ppl?

I belong to a gym, but they don't offer classes. Anything beyond what I'm already doing I really can't afford.

I don't really have luck with people. I'm 35 years old; I've tried. I have used meetup.com and have gone to meetups and thought that I developed a little bit of a relationship with some of the people that I met, but then I find out on Facebook that those people are all doing things together, without me. That's kind of the story of my life. I try to be friendly to people but there is something off-putting about me and I don't really know what it is (though honestly, right now, it's probably my depression). I've been told that I am stand-offish and I don't mean to be, but at the same time I can't help how I am. I'm just...me. Honestly (and I don't mean this rudely), I didn't start this thread for help on how to meet people; I've been given the advice ad nauseum. It just doesn't work for me. I've given up at this point.

[allme]

Originally Posted by misskeena

I belong to a gym, but they don't offer classes. Anything beyond what I'm already doing I really can't afford.

I don't really have luck with people. I'm 35 years old; I've tried. I have used meetup.com and have gone to meetups and thought that I developed a little bit of a relationship with some of the people that I met, but then I find out on Facebook that those people are all doing things together, without me. That's kind of the story of my life. I try to be friendly to people but there is something off-putting about me and I don't really know what it is (though honestly, right now, it's probably my depression). I've been told that I am stand-offish and I don't mean to be, but at the same time I can't help how I am. I'm just...me. Honestly (and I don't mean this rudely), I didn't start this thread for help on how to meet people; I've been given the advice ad nauseum. It just doesn't work for me. I've given up at this point.

Fair enough

Originally Posted by allme

Fair enough

Sorry. I know I'm really negative. But it's why I feel so stuck; I've tried what seems like everything, and everything has failed. It's left me feeling pretty dejected and empty.

[Trippin2.0]

I have nobody to turn to either, nobody takes care of me, don't even remember a time when anyone did. While I do have a bf, I keep my "head stuff" separate from him (there are reasons for this) and I don't have a gf's couch I can randomly crawl up on and pour out my heart while she fixes me hot chocolate.

Every bpd blow out, every bp episode, I muddle through alone, and that loneliness only makes things worse.

I understand the heavy burden you carry and I'm realy sorry you experience it too

[allme]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Sorry. I know I'm really negative. But it's why I feel so stuck; I've tried what seems like everything, and everything has failed. It's left me feeling pretty dejected and empty.

Well I really do hope that changes for you one day. It's an evil thing to live with

[allme]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I have nobody to turn to either, nobody takes care of me, don't even remember a time when anyone did. While I do have a bf, I keep my "head stuff" separate from him (there are reasons for this) and I don't have a gf's couch I can randomly crawl up on and pour out my heart while she fixes me hot chocolate.

Every bpd blow out, every bp episode, I muddle through alone, and that loneliness only makes things worse.

I understand the heavy burden you carry and I'm realy sorry you experience it too

Sorry to hear that It can be soul destroying

[d00mbunneh]

I'm the same way with people and friends. I'm not really close to anyone and i always seem to be on the outskirts of groups. I also feel very awkward a lot of the time and it makes it hard to really open up to people OR I say way too much too fast and too soon.

[TheRealFDeal]

MK, I think we must be the same person.

[yellowfrog268]

misskeena,

Although we can't cook you dinner or bring you a cup of tea, we are here for you.
In your post you stated that no one would even miss you if you were gone tomorrow. You should know that your virtual family would!