[Maranara]

Going through my almost nightly bout of loneliness and depression, knowing that during the next few weeks, it's going to be near impossible to stay positive.

[beloiseau]

Originally Posted by Maranara

Going through my almost nightly bout of loneliness and depression, knowing that during the next few weeks, it's going to be near impossible to stay positive.

I feel for you and know you're not alone in feeling this way and knowing it's going to be hard to stay positive. Hugs!

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[complex21]

feeling tense, anxious and needy. anyone want to offer me a beer and a cuddle session?

[youwillrise]

he keeps fkn ignoring me. its pissing me off.

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by Bubbles&Buttercup

Didn't go to work yet again. Messaged my mum this morning hoping she'd want to hang out and maybe she'd want to know more about BPD so she'd understand me better, she invited me over to have lunch with my step sister and her. Every time I want to see her there is someone else around, why the **** don't people want to make the time for you and understand your illness better? I would if I was close to someone who was messed up!

Sometime you have to come out and ask her for some alone time for the two of you...a walk of a nice light lunch maybe??? Tea in the afternoon??? Just an idea...sometimes people just don't "get it"...good luck. have a nice evening and a wonderful New Year now...Take care.

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by Maranara

Going through my almost nightly bout of loneliness and depression, knowing that during the next few weeks, it's going to be near impossible to stay positive.

Hugs for you hun!!!!
Yeah is hardest at night to fight the dark demons..... Remember to do one day....one morning or afternoon...hell...even one hour at a time...remember you are a good person and have much to offer others.....should they be wise enough to want to take that ride with you..... Have a relaxing evening and a Happy New Year now...Take care

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by HealingNSuffering

Horrible day.

And the horrible day is over hun....How are you today??? fighting back??? Come on..... I know you can.....Want me to back ya up??? I can do that too!!!! Relax and have a nice evening...no pressures.... Wake up to a New Year and new hopes and plan will spring forth...I just know it.... hugs!!!!

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by youwillrise

he keeps fkn ignoring me. its pissing me off.

I think you are doing wonderfully to be able to say that.....Keep fighting back....Stand up and be strong!!! Or relax and listen to favorite group for a while....turn off everything else but what you want and give some time to yourself to relax.....have great evening and hope new year has lots to offer you!!!! hugs darn wish I could take my advise...ya know what??? I think I will try too....Enjoy!!!!!

[beloiseau]

Went all BPD at NYE party last night...2014 is starting off rough

[Maranara]

Having a fairly good day. Not getting done as much as I'd like and my thinking is everywhere, but I'm so far able to keep all those pesky emotions under control.

[youwillrise]

blarrrgh. mother asked me "whats wrong with you, miss attitude?!" and i replied "everything" ..and she said "well, get over it"...hdjehshyevdhfhdjwhdhhdjsgdhdywhshhs.

stfu.

[technigal]

Today has been ok. Robbie is starting to get on my nerves, will be so happy when he goes back to school on Monday. We both need the school routine.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. We are going to the Science Centre and they have a Harry Potter exhibit right now.

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

Was very angry and irritable last night and then had dreams that I lost it at people and hurt them badly (physically). It's midday and I don't want to leave my bed incase the dreams come true, at the same time I want it to be true. I feel like I need to stop making myself sick from the constant self control and do what I feel and then maybe people would see that I need help if they were pulling me off a bleeding person.

Feeling incredibly lonely.

I just want some love.
Feel do desperate. Feel pathetic.

I can't keep crying about the same bs day after day. Yet here i am. Way to start the new year.



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Lost a friend recently for reasons that remain unclear to me. the reasons should be clear, shouldn't they? but they are not. Bleh.
The next time I think I have a great connection with someone, I will think twice. The last two times have resulted in rejection and pain for me. only this time should have been different. This time I was sober and a good friend. I never said anything mean, and really listened.
A big part of me feels like withdrawing from people altogether.
On the bright side, I got paid and got to spend a good Newyears with my kids. Hope all of you had a good Newyears too.

[beloiseau]

spending the day waiting for the snow to start. started watching the first series of downton abbey. searching for new apartments and jobs, the usual. totally dysregulated yesterday....let's hope today is easier.

[Longing2Exhale]

Feeling lost.

Lonely empty oversensitive, annoyed, distracted, thirsty...

idk...
again though i'm glad i found this site. it's like a new lifeline, a new comfort. lol, so now i'll be codependent on this instead of my guy. i feel guilty about needing him so much and needing so much from him. He's been awesome so far, but i know at some point i'll completely drain him or he'll just get tired of it all I'd like to feel better and stop doing the negative actions i do so i don't ruin the relationship, but for some reason i have latched on to him and am holding on for dear life. i know it's not healthy for either of us.
i'm so scattered right now, and it feels like there is pain and stress in each direction, so I keep turning back but then hit it again. i know a lot of it is me overreacting, but it feels so real and validated.
i feel abandoned by my friends. We’re supposed to be this really close group of 5 but I don’t really feel that. I know my depression and complete isolation took a toll on the friendship, but that’s a whole long story I’ll tell another time. My most recent feelings of abandonment came with NYE, when no one asked about or invited me to any plans. No I didn’t ask them, but that was just to avoid the rejection I felt was pending. That’s just a bad excuse, but I still feel very abandoned.1, my mom is buying a new house, and i fantasize about moving back home where it's less scary and i don't have to deal with all of this...that would be a horrible idea of course, i'd never leave again, and never face anything. i loveeeeeeeee my mother, but she would enable the whole thing and be not even notice. J I’m very blessed to have a very loving family.

i'm so afraid of looking/sounding stupid on this board. These days I feel that way in life of course, but i'm scared to feel that way here too, i think i need this place. And as lame and silly and childish as it is to say and admit “I really want you guys to like me”

did any of this make sense?

[lynn808]

i'm so afraid of looking/sounding stupid on this board. These days I feel that way in life of course, but i'm scared to feel that way here too, i think i need this place. And as lame and silly and childish as it is to say and admit “I really want you guys to like me”

did any of this make sense?[/QUOTE]

Welcome and thanks for joining us. Don't feel silly or angry or lost here. You will always be among friends who try to understand or have already been through what you are feeling when you are here. I have never felt judged or criticized or anything bad here. I almost feel free......to express without being judged....to say what I need to release.....welcome and hope that made you feel better... I am also learning to release it all!!!! Feels good!!! Hugs for you today!!!! Hoping this year will help you in your healing and a new and happier person will bloom!!!!!

[youwillrise]

i think im doing okay so far today. one moment at a time.

[Longing2Exhale]

Originally Posted by HealingNSuffering

So far today is okay. That doesn't mean its not going to completely change in an hour or so, I already feel some animosity towards the world. I'm torn between feeling lonely and not wanting to go anywhere or talk to anybody. Just seems like a waste of time, everybody is busy and in a hurry going nowhere.

i totally relate to those feelings.

Originally Posted by lynn808

i'm so afraid of looking/sounding stupid on this board. These days I feel that way in life of course, but i'm scared to feel that way here too, i think i need this place. And as lame and silly and childish as it is to say and admit “I really want you guys to like me”

did any of this make sense?

(((lynn)))

I like you and I have always found you very caring

[Longing2Exhale]

Originally Posted by beloiseau

Went all BPD at NYE party last night...2014 is starting off rough

gotta love those times. Hugs! it happens

[technigal]

Thought I was having a heart attack earlier...just another panic attack. I really wish my pdoc would give me something for them. They are no longer daily but still enough to cause problems in my every day living. I figure the panic attack was due to so many people at the science centre. The Harry Potter exhibit was cool. So expensive for everything in the store so we bought nothing. Mostly a good day.

[Jishkah]

I hate myself. I'm a f*cking monster, and, in my instability, rage, anger, and irritation, I lost the most important person in my life, and fed the fire of her depression in the process. I lost my best friend - my only friend, really - and I don't know what to do, now. I miss her. I miss her so much...

This is simplifying the issue quite a bit, but that's the best way that I can condense such a complex problem. I f*cked up. I kicked her when she was down, and what I did - what I said - was unforgivable. I can't do this, anymore. I can't continue being me. I can't. I f*cking can't. I hate what I've done, and I live with that guilt, that disgust, every day of my life, and I can't continue to be like this, anymore.

I miss her, and I love her, but I understand precisely why she left, and I don't blame her. I just want her back. I want our friendship back. I want to be stable, and I want to be strong. Not... this.

[shezbut]

I am craving Eric ~ I wish that we could hug again!