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#51
Oct 09, 2013, 03:25 AM
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I remembered my best friend stopped talking to me and I started crying at work. Now I feel angry and confused about everything. My eyes burn from over blinking caused by my meds so that adds on to the anger. 3.5 more hours until I can go home and go to bed. I'm pretty sure I will mellow down later on unless I get triggered again by something.
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"Unable are the Loved to die For Love is Immortality" -Emily Dickinson |
 Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#52
Oct 09, 2013, 03:49 AM
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So I went into the bathroom and found out I developed two styes in my right eyelid which is causing the over blinking and pain, not fun.
__________________
"Unable are the Loved to die For Love is Immortality" -Emily Dickinson |
| Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#53
Oct 09, 2013, 07:07 PM
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Tried to call pdoc today cuz I'm doing so badly. Seems they closed early and I couldn't even leave a freaking message. I'm on the edge of craziness.
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| Bill3, duende, HealingNSuffering
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#54
Oct 09, 2013, 07:15 PM
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I've finally got officially diagnosed for ASD. Perversely pleased because before no one believed me but I'm sad about having more crap forever stamped upon my medical records. I guess life can only get better for an autistic borderline with OCD? Hmmm...
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| Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#55
Oct 10, 2013, 08:05 AM
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Quote:
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I have heard about your "normal" and it does not sound like fun to me. |
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#56
Oct 10, 2013, 08:06 AM
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Pretty good day so far. Got a T appointment this afternoon. We'll see what happens.
__________________
I have heard about your "normal" and it does not sound like fun to me. |
 Bill3
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#58
Oct 10, 2013, 08:35 AM
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Been a pretty sht week for me. Nightly nightmares, daily anxiety attacks and low mood. Just thinking about relationship brings me to the brink of insanity.
__________________
"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak |
| allme, Anonymous200125, Bill3
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#59
Oct 10, 2013, 08:37 AM
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Here and ok today. Yesterday was bad in the end....was obsessing about when hubby dies again.
 I just felt total despair, panic and sadness. This is a reoccurring thing I just have to deal with sometimes
__________________
’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’ |
| Anonymous200125, Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#60
Oct 10, 2013, 09:17 AM
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wiped out today. idk why. Still debating whether to call the psychiatrist. always waiting for something bad to happen.Obsessing about inconsequential things. hate being me.
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| Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#61
Oct 11, 2013, 02:32 AM
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I'm going to work very hard to just shut off all of my emotions. With doing this and re-associating things ... I hope I can train my brain to just shut it all off.
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| Anonymous200125, Bill3, duende, HealingNSuffering
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#62
Oct 11, 2013, 04:21 AM
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I managed a couple of hours sleep last night...better than the no sleep the night before!!
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| HealingNSuffering
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| Bill3
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#63
Oct 12, 2013, 04:32 PM
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Such a distressing day, ill collapse in a heap eventually. My physical health is already on the decline, it doesn't need this vile cheating nasty disorder to help it along
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| Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#64
Oct 12, 2013, 06:10 PM
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Overall today was a good day, I helped my disabled friend move some things around at his house today, hurt my back a little because that stuff was heavy. I was full of energy today and needed to sweat a little anyways, got a large pizza on my way home!
 I'm eating the whole thing to myself. 
__________________
"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak |
| allme
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| Bill3
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#65
Oct 15, 2013, 08:05 AM
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Feeling better today
 Hubby gone golfing and I am home working. Going to a birthday party this evening...hope it goes ok.
__________________
’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’ |
| Anonymous200125, duende, HealingNSuffering, technigal
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#66
Oct 15, 2013, 10:08 AM
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Finally my therapy intact is this afternoon!
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| Anonymous200125, HealingNSuffering
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#67
Oct 15, 2013, 10:21 AM
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Quote:
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#68
Oct 15, 2013, 10:46 AM
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Been in pain lately, its causing me to be a lot more grumpy than usual. Pain tends to drag me down so much, I think there is a big link between mental and physical health. When I'm not well upstairs, my body just falls apart. When my body falls apart, I become even sicker in the head.
__________________
"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak |
| allme, Bill3
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#69
Oct 15, 2013, 11:00 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| HealingNSuffering
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#70
Oct 15, 2013, 11:05 AM
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I have had a shift in mood to feeling low....
Decided not to go to this birthday party now. Hubby peeved with me for changing my mind but I just can't face it now.
__________________
’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’ |
| Anonymous200125, Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#71
Oct 15, 2013, 11:09 AM
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Today is infant & pregnancy loss memorial day. It is going to be rough. When I was in the hospital on my day pass I went to the Walk to Remember for infant/pregnancy loss. My baby died at about 8-9 weeks into my pregnancy, I did not find out until 12 weeks. Hearing that my baby died is one of worst things I have ever gone through. I really think that was the beginning of this latest bout of severe depression, then add in my parents deaths...
If there are any others on here who know the heartache of a pregnancy or infant loss
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| allme, Anonymous200125, Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#72
Oct 15, 2013, 05:56 PM
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Seriously annoyed when my therapist keeps focusing on my diet instead of mental health issues which is the reason I sought help in the first place. sure my eating might not be "normal" but it's enough.
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| HealingNSuffering
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| Bill3
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#73
Oct 16, 2013, 07:18 AM
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I'm nervous today.. It's a first day of sorts really knowing that I have BPD. It doesn't change who I am , but WHY I am.
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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#74
Oct 16, 2013, 08:41 PM
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God awful anxiety is plaguing me today, on and off, mostly on. As soon as I feel calm, something makes me anxious again. I find out tomorrow about this DBT group, I've also been super hungry today, can't eat enough, my stomach is a bottomless pit, and I have a headache. Wish me luck.
__________________
"Much like wind blowing through hollowed cemetery grounds, we all circulate within this void of reality in search of something more profound. Hopes and Dreams fuel our will to live, projecting our desires into the universe and awaiting what it gives. Throughout life's journeys you will encounter Saints as well as the Heartless, but remember, in order to Appreciate the Light, one Must spend time in Darkness." ~ Prozak |
| Bill3
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#75
Oct 16, 2013, 09:18 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
| Bill3, HealingNSuffering
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