Getting drunk and having BPD

Every time I drink it's like inevitable that so many of my symptoms come out. I drunk text guys that have been ignoring or avoiding me soooo much. I am considered "psycho" and I don't deny it. I wake up in the morning regretting it so much and saying sorry and explaining how I am a different person drunk and that's not who I really am. A few weeks ago I came home wasted and started making out with one of my friend's ex-boyfriends and now none of my friends are talking to me. They say it's because of some things I tweeted afterward about them or something. And I do these things on impulse; I'm not trying to hurt anyone. Since I've been so lonely and without friends I've been really trying to get things better with my hook up buddy. Things did get better and he finally didn't ignore me in public Thursday evening and we hooked up that night and it was fine. Friday evening, I went out with a few people got super wasted and vomited at the bar then proceeded to leave the bar wasted and walked to his house knowing that he was not there. His house was like a mile away and in the most dangerous part of town. I seriously could have died. I knew he wasn't home but I showed up and his roommates let me in and are always so kind to me. They told me to just sleep there and it would be fine as I proceeded to just cry at their house. So I texted him in the morning apologizing and letting him know what had happened. He wasn't super mean but he says he's definitely blocking my number (the blocking my number thing has always been my idea. I tell him to so I won't hit him up drunk) He says he's so embarrassed of me. I am so embarrassed. I am literally left with no one. It's because my BPD just comes out soooo much when I drink. I am absolutely done drinking at this point. I can't do this to myself anymore.

I can relate to what you're going through.
Just 18 months ago my life was completely out of control. I was drinking vodka until I blacked out every night, hanging out with dangerous people and doing things I shouldn't be doing. I made a total *** out of myself. I nearly ruined my life completely.
I alienated not only countless friends, but family members as well due to my behavior under the influence of alcohol and sometimes a mix of alcohol and prescription drugs. I can't remember a lot of the things I did or said but other people sure do and it's humiliating. and the reckless behavior I was engaging in nearly cost me my life twice in one month before I finally decided to sober up and re-evaluate things.
I can tell you as someone who has been there and done that, that alcohol and other substances designed to mask those emotions that are so hard to manage aren't the answer to your pain. I've been sober for nearly two years now and are my emotions the way I wish they were? No. but my life is much better now and at least I don't make mistakes that I don't remember. I mess up less severely and the accountability is there. I am seeking professional help because I can't make progress and learn to deal with the overwhelming emotions alone.
There are people out there who can help you. I recommend DBT Therapy if you have access to it in your area. You are not alone.
Best of luck.

I think stopping drinking is a good idea; I should probably take a lesson from you and quit as well. I too drunk text, like mad. People have definitely stopped talking to me over it, because I'll either text completely incomprehensible things, or make suicidal threats. It sounds like your hook-up buddy is not a very supportive guy, and I'm sorry that he said those things. You shouldn't be ashamed of your actions, you're trying to make a change and live your life better.

Ohhhhh the drinking....EVERY time I drink I make a FOOL of myself. Every time I am about to drink I tell myself "DON'T act like a freak, DON'T do things you will regret." And I ALWAYS go crazy...doing things I wish I couldn't remember. One time I blacked out for 6 hours...I begged my friends to NEVER tell me what happened cuz as much as I want to know, I know I don't want to. I wake up with so many regrets....I drunk call, drunk text, I start talking about personal things so openly...and I have a really bad habit of walking out, literally. I just get up and walk out the door. sometimes CITIES away from home....I dwell on the things I do as well. I never can let them go, even if my friends say to forget it and move on.

A wise woman once told me that BPD and alcohol don't mix. I've seen the difference first hand, but at the same time, who isn't an idiot when they are drunk?

My Bipolar ****s with my drinking more than my BPD. The bi polar makes me impulsive and reckless and too open and hyper sexual.. BPD makes me dissociate during sex and cuddle men in my sleep to avoid loneliness.

Oh, and when I drink and talk about hard things, I dissociate.

I lose all impulse control. It leads me to be promiscuous, or even just leave the group I'm with. I guess I should say that's past tense since I don't do this anymore.

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OMG!!!! ME TOO!!!! The loneliness cuddles...I didn't even know that was BPD. And I'm ALWAYS dissociative during sex, also didn't know it was BPD. I hate feeling alone...

oh wow! I drink till I pass out or get into a fight! (when I was younger), but I too tell my self only one or two, just too join in with the crowd, but this never happens, I always end up a mess, and make myself look a fool, the alcohol just goes down too well, I drink fast too, which makes it even worse, but manage to stumble home. then I too regret everything the next morning, this happened a few days every week a while back, thankfully I've not touched a drop for around 8 months, and feel great for it, but I have those cravings for a decent drink at least a few times a day,

I'd defo recommend trying to cut down or completely stop, if possible, it'll be very difficult but I think you can do it,

hang in there, and try and give it a go

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Alcohol is not very good for me either, I always drink far too much and make a complete twat out of myself!

It sounds like you need to give it a miss altogether..

What is this lonliness cuddles ?? I think i do this....

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It's when you're lonely and you don't want to sleep alone so you have a guy just cuddle with you for the night. It results in leading a lot of people on.

Hmm that is like the only thing i desire from men at this point haha. Dont get it without other stuff though!

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??? Getting drunk and having BPD ???

Sounds good. First round is on me.

I don't try to lead people on .-.

I get extremely impulsive when I drink, too. But I still drink because I enjoy the sensation of being drunk.

Wow, I have been away camping and fishing with (supposed) BF and I come back and considered writing a post on BPD and alcohol and read this post instead...

...After a lot of sun, exhaustion and downing a bottle of white and then a bottle of red, (which I know very well not to combine the two) I had one of my "meltdowns" bf was unresponsive and I couldn't handle it. I spun out.. I was begging for him to do anything to make it stop.. Hold me, tell me I am going to be ok, tell me you love me, just HOLD me! but he wouldn't all he could do is tell me I am an F$@ head and I should grow up.. which made it worse.. now we are not really talking..

I find alcohol creates a channel where I don't monitor what I say.. and stuff just comes out and I don't care. In fact I feel relief that I can get it out of my head.. but at what cost..?

I drink alone, often because it helps me with my art, music and writing.. If I drink with others I get smashed and jump in a cab or walk home...I don't tell anyone I am leaving and they all freak out. I should come with a disclaimer....

Thanks for sharing..

Me either

I'm with Angel and others who say no more drinking. I drank once in the last 18 months, 5 months ago because it was a special occation. I was able to cut myself off, behave, and not black out. but still I would rather just forgo it all together and not risk it because it can be a slippery slope for me.
I'm extremely unprodictible when drinking. I might be fine one time, and then cause complete chaos for myself or others the next time. Some of the behaviors I have engaged in under the influence of alcohol that I would not like to repeat include but are sadly not limited to:
Drunk texts/calls that I have no recollection of later, verbally abusive behavior that included but sadly again was not limited to encouraging a friend to commit suicide because I was hurt by something my friend said to me, promiscuous behavior, ending up in the psych ward with no recollection of how I got there, waking up in the drunk tank, I'd be here all day if I tried to list all the stupid **** I did.
All in all, not worth it. At least not for me personally.
Not to mention my ex-husband was so wasted in early 2010 that he did irreversible damage to his hand. He required a 7 day hospital stay, 3 months of physical therapy, and his hand will still never be the same. The pinky finger is basicly completely paralyzed.

I feel like this is the scariest part of drinking. Is you just never know. Will I be fine? Will I act crazy? But...I was fine last time....maybe I can get away with it this time. Nope.

I usually need to keep really good control over myself during exams cause I can't risk falling apart but when I got the results of an application I was really looking forward to (I didn't make it in) I knew it was bad news. Kept myself mostly calm, in fact everyone who knew about my rejection were shocked since almost all the others who were rejected as well pretty much broke down (imagine a 300 students in years at the computer lab in the library). But then I had a little too drink that weekend since I was home by myself. That little soon became an entire bottle of wine.

Woke up the next morning with vague memories of falling down the stairs, climbing ONTO my car, seeing if I could drown in just a glass of water and got out of my bed to red eyes that looked like they were out of a horror movie, a call log that showed a 3 hour long call conference (basically 6 hours worth of talk time) and a text from my phone company saying I'd used up my cap and owed them $250. Not fun.

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How do you know which ones which O.o aren't they comorbid?

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20 million years ago.... (back when I was younger) - I was a pretty big drinker. I really do not drink much anymore.

But I did enjoy several adult beverages over my xmas break and I REALLY enjoyed it. I think I will start drinking more. It "soothed" a bit.