It's too hard.

I don't want to play anymore. Can I go home now? I'm in DBT and I know that I should be grateful, but I feel like it's just another thing that I have to either endure or run away from. I thought today on my way home from Group that I'll do the exercises, but I'm not going to change my personality. Why & who thinks that that is even possible? I feel so overwhelmed. I just want to be left alone. Isn't therapy supposed to make life better?

The "work" part of DBT is not fun.... trust me - I can totally relate.

Hey Jean,
I always thought therapy was the hardest part....it made me look at myself and question me more.....I don't think the therapy itself makes you feel better...I hope that it has always helped me to become stronger and better able to handle what life throws at me... Sometimes the few days after therapy are the hardest too....as the mind tries to wrap around a new thought or hope....or the idea that is stuck at that point... I try to think of it as intense schooling.....and your learn days worth in an hour...takes days to process all that....relax and let the mind work on it... find something to relax you...candles...music... a walk... a swim....a book.....do something with your body while your mind is busy.... Good luck and let me know if you need anything....Will always be available to chat with you ....Keep the faith!!!

How long have you been in DBT? My T wants me to start DBT soon and I have been worried I will not be able to handle it,especially the group part. Changing your personality is part of it?
Hope it gets better for you real soon.

I've been trying it for about 3 months. The group part was a big worry for me too, but my group is just me and 5 other women and two therapists. I found it immediately safe and comfortable. I hope you will too.

But it is challenging. Every 2 weeks you get a new skill and then you have to document how you practiced it for the next meeting. Then you all share how it went for you. I find it is asking me to do things that I have, because of social anxiety and GAD, spent all my life and energy, avoiding. So now I'm supposed to change? I don't know. Maybe if I really work with it, I will.

I do hope that you find it helpful. I don't think it can hurt. We need all the help we can get. Every other week you have a private session with your therapist so you can get their help with the homework and anything else that is bothering you.

I'm in DBT too and it is very hard. I think I understand it when I'm there, but when I'm actually supposed to apply the skills it is hard. It is so hard for me to listen to other people too, because then I completely invalidate myself and feel selfish and shameful for even being there and needing help.

Oh, yes. I understand. It's really hard to feel worthy of all the help when you always feel that others always come first. And I don't understand how doing a "skill" say, four times for the homework element of DBT, changes your personality.

I find i botch my diary part a bit. I always forget to do it and then when i remember i cant remember what i actually DID that day and make stuff up. There are about 12 other people and two facilitators. One of them i switch between hating and liking. Mainly she triggers me. Due to Christmas, one of the groups were canceled and i missed one and i havent done my diary in two weeks so have 14 days to write up bfore tomorrow... WHY CANT I JUST DO THE FREAKIN WORK?! grrrr.. however, the group part I like. I really do, lots of the mindfulness is really great in theory and when im not being willfully stubborn it helps. I DO find myself, 4 months later, reflecting on the skills. However if I put in more effort it would be more helpful. Often tho I just want to skip it because getting ready to go seems overwhelming.
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should add that the goal is to learn to Respond to situations in life instead of just React. And that this responding is to come from a balanced place, not a place of fear, or anger etc... so really if we WORK with it, it is very useful. Responding to life instead of Reacting to it, is healthy not just for us, but for those around us. I just wish I wasnt so friggin stubborn about going.

In my experience, it takes time and repetition to get into DBT skills. It takes understanding and effort of the skills, in order to really apply them to your life experiences. Writing in the daily DBT diary was a struggle for me as well, all throughout my group DBT meetings. I was inconsistent.

Don't bother making stuff up though: be honest! It only takes a few minutes per day of looking back, to answer which DBT skills that was used. Make a check-mark & write a clue to remind yourself how it was used, for later.

I really did enjoy group DBT, but yes, it takes some commitment to actually make a positive difference in your life.

how are you doing jean??? been thinking about you and wish the best day for you!!!! take care and enjoy a little...okay????.... good

I really couldnt handle being honest. The one facilitator triggers me badly. A few times Ive almost walked out in tears. I just have to stick with it and try harder... :/ Group this morning. 2 hours - 2 hours a week is a big chunk, but im still glad im there.