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#501
Jun 11, 2014, 12:09 AM
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A freaking hour later and the dang tears are back!
 
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
 Anonymous100185, Bill3, Blitter2014, sideblinded, waiting4
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#502
Jun 11, 2014, 12:45 AM
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Quote:
__________________
 Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
| shezbut
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 shezbut
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#503
Jun 11, 2014, 07:37 AM
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Exhaustion and half way the work day x til il not bother working next week lol
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| Bill3, Blitter2014
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#504
Jun 11, 2014, 03:46 PM
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Awake early again this morning. Each morning the clouds roll over and the depression tries to kick in. But I am finding that spending a few moments (read minutes or hours) on here each morning moves the clouds and reveals a better day than I thought I was going to have. These destraction games are fun and get the grey matter moving.
Right at the moment, between a pet sitting either side of me and a few games, I'm feeling like I can get through today
__________________
"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes"  Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions |
| waiting4
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| Bill3, Verity81
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#507
Jun 11, 2014, 07:21 PM
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OMG...almost lost it...took off in car to control emotions...drove for an hour...gave someone the finger bought booze.. not too bad a day..f***!!
 
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| Espresso
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| Bill3
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#508
Jun 11, 2014, 08:18 PM
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Beer plus horses is a bad combo. But I had a killer ride even though I could have been seriously hurt
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| Bill3
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#509
Jun 11, 2014, 09:55 PM
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I have been trying to gain weight and it's gone to my stomach and I have body fat there but no where else and I hate it. My mom asked me if I was pregnant, that's how bad it is. So I'm stuck between wanting to lose weight and wanting to gain more and just ignore that my stomach is fatter than the rest of my body.
... Ahem. On the other hand, I'm moody, restless, insecure, confused about my identity, and kind of holding a grudge from the other night. Otherwise I'm fine. |
| Bill3, moodycow, sideblinded, waiting4
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| Bill3
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#510
Jun 11, 2014, 10:56 PM
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So incredibly lonely. My partner and I met with a relationship counselor last night and he ended up dumping me right there. I am sinking into that pool of emptiness inside. Can't stop crying. I've been keeping myself busy but my heart is crushed. I love him so effing much and I miss him. This is so effing hard. I have to go to a conference this weekend and I've just left my cat with him so he can take care of her. Being here without my cat, without the love of my love, is soul crushing. I just want to go back to how things were before. I'm devastated.
__________________
BPD // OCD // ADD // SAD // GAD |
| Anonymous37965, moodycow, sideblinded, waiting4
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#511
Jun 11, 2014, 10:58 PM
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told my mother i'm going to hurt myself and all she said was "well, i can't stop you."
Last edited by Anonymous100165; Jun 11, 2014 at 11:55 PM. |
| Anonymous37965, Bill3, Blitter2014, waiting4
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#512
Jun 11, 2014, 11:51 PM
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and now i feel like crap for all the attention seeking i just did with her.
i'm going to try to sleep. i want to stop being this way. i am so angry with myself. my mom deserves better than the constantly demanding and childish behaviors I project onto her. |
| Anonymous100185, atomicc, Bill3, Blitter2014, waiting4
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#513
Jun 12, 2014, 03:17 AM
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Quote:
Core stomach exercises will help with that, try Pilates or there are lots of you tube vids with stomach exercises. I always put weight on my stomach. Also you might be bloating? I bloat before my period and sometimes look pregnant! Try to drink plenty of water and avoid gassy sodas. Also sprinkle some self compassion on top, we are all beautiful in our own way! x Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Verity  
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| Bill3, Blitter2014
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| Bill3, waiting4
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#514
Jun 12, 2014, 04:01 AM
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"All beautiful in our own way" - absolutely. None of this media spin defining beauty, love who you are, for you need to love and look after yourself before you can do so for anyone else
__________________
"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes" Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions |
| Verity81
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#515
Jun 12, 2014, 05:03 AM
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nothing just numb ..... going through the motions ...exsisting .
__________________
The world is not blind it does not want to see !!!  dx severe Depression Gad Social phobic Borderline pd part time insomniac |! 
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| Bill3, waiting4
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#516
Jun 12, 2014, 07:32 AM
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Quote:
The issue with your mom is a whole separate issue...... my ONLY hope is that you are safe. We (not just me - WE) here like you and care about you. Please be safe. Wishing you some love.... clearly you need to feel loved right now. |
| Bill3, detachedangst
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#517
Jun 12, 2014, 12:35 PM
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Sick of the constant anxiety attacks. Am
Para people R looking cos I am nearly Wrenching cos my chest is constricted x how can train delays do this to people ? It's just weird  xxz
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| Bill3, waiting4
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#518
Jun 12, 2014, 04:10 PM
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Quote:
 hugs Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk
__________________
"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes" Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions |
| Anonymous100185
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#519
Jun 12, 2014, 04:25 PM
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Can you be depressed without knowing it?
I'm physically ill and no one takes me serious...they just keep telling me I'm depressed or stressed out or anxious but damn it...when I am those things I KNOW it. This isn't that... I don't think????
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Anonymous100185, Bill3, waiting4
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#520
Jun 12, 2014, 04:41 PM
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Really excellent today, surprisingly enough. Didn't hurt that I noticed a fellow poster tossing stones from their fully glassed house!! Once and awhile, we actually do win one. *grin*
__________________
Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
| Bill3, Blitter2014
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#523
Jun 12, 2014, 11:32 PM
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Draaaaained. Like since last Thursday I have been working 7am to at least 11PM each day doing hard core labour. I'm exhausted. Too exhausted for emotions which I guess is good.
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| Anonymous100185, avlady
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| Bill3
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#524
Jun 13, 2014, 12:59 AM
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Emotionally drained. Bad anxiety attacks yesterday. Mahoosive argument with bf over nothing in particular and now I feel wounded and empty and scared he won't bother calling me today yet alone see me for date night
xxxx
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| avlady, Bill3, Britneigh, Mindful55
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#525
Jun 13, 2014, 07:40 AM
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After a week of being beyond miserable I am finally on the up swing. So far anyway. It's only 830, but I didn't have to bargain with myself to get up and come to work this morning. Thank goodness
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk |
| avlady
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| Bill3
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