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#751
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So ... My Friday started out bad.
Just when I thought I had this calm thjng going cracked ![]() Woke up to a txt off the bf n he told me he loved me etc as usual but I always pick something negative ? I duno why but I do??!! Then I get to train station and it was cancelled so I was over a hour late for work. Just finished work now n have 3 hour journey home thanks to ****** trains not being on. ![]() |
![]() sideblinded, waiting4
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#752
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Not leaving my bed...giving my liver a day of rest after a 4 day alcohol bender. Nobody needs me anyway so nobody will notice I'm not around. I only matter when I'm useful
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() Bill3, Lefty_Mac, sideblinded, waiting4
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#753
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Bits of B moments seeping through today.
Going to do some mindful meditation shortly. |
#754
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Sad and angry at the attitude of some ppeole at a music forum I visit, simply because I voiced what I like and what I dislike about the band. So am I supposed to like everything? it's a fans.com bord not fanboys.com board. And coping with personal attacks froma member there there everybody strongly dislikes who decided to get a rise out of me when he knows I'm having a hard time. I first contacted the administrator of the board, deleted all my history and cookies from the site in advance, and was prepared to leave if this guy didn't stop - that was yesterday. Today, I returned there and he still retorted at me, although not offensively, but still in a mild sarcastic manner so I sent him a private message. It's too bad, cos depending on how things go, I'll have to leave a place where I had fun, nice true friends and could speak casually. But certain things I just don't accept anymore.
__________________
"Did you ever wake up to find A day That broke up your mind Destroyed your notion of circular time? It's just that demon life that got you in its' sway..."
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![]() sideblinded, waiting4
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#755
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Quote:
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![]() detachedangst
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#756
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I feel like a hyperactive kid in an adult body.... Not in a lost sense, but my body feels like a motor that won't turn off. I wake up moving a body part and go all day with too much energy and I have to move my feet or rock my body back and forth to get to sleep....then it starts right in again as soon as I wake up. It is frustrating!
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![]() detachedangst, shakespeare47
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#757
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Nap time. Its too ****n hot.
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Wifey, artist, daydreamer. |
#758
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Sorry liver
![]()
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() sideblinded
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#759
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Uneventful but painful day. And I'm still sick.
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![]() sideblinded
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#760
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Still thinking whether my birthday present was good enough, and if the helping I tried to do had any results. But listening to good music and much more tranquilized now.
__________________
"Did you ever wake up to find A day That broke up your mind Destroyed your notion of circular time? It's just that demon life that got you in its' sway..."
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor
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#761
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Quote:
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__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper! ![]() ![]() |
#762
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hope you feel better soon
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper! ![]() ![]() |
#763
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Quote:
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper! ![]() ![]() |
![]() Lefty_Mac
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![]() Lefty_Mac
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#764
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Enjoying a break from from my constantly high anxiety.
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#765
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starting a bender 2 nite..
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper! ![]() ![]() |
#766
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Was good...now...the pendulum swings...afore...mentioned...hurt...and ... wow, I need my T so much right now but I'm ...gonna be strong and wait...it's only a week.
FFS...why do I let people hurt me so much???? Why do I believe the ugly that is my mind when I know I'm not a bad person......why can't I just give the fuk up??? I just want to give the fuk up. ![]()
__________________
![]() Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
![]() Anonymous100165, Anonymous100185, Lefty_Mac
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#767
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Quote:
__________________
"Did you ever wake up to find A day That broke up your mind Destroyed your notion of circular time? It's just that demon life that got you in its' sway..."
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![]() waiting4
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#768
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Quote:
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![]() waiting4
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#769
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I'm doing okay so far.
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#770
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I had a friend on here... Skies something, and now it says anonymous for them and I can't message them. I hope everything is ok.
Anyway, my hours are effed again because I took a super long nap... exhaustion/heat hit me I don't know. But I am on the upswing.
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Wifey, artist, daydreamer. |
#771
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Trying to stay present
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...In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator
![]() -Daughter |
![]() zombie paloma
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![]() detachedangst
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#772
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Me too, Achy Turtles, mee too. It is so d*** hard though.
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![]() zombie paloma
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor
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#773
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Four panic attacks ..... When will it end
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![]() waiting4, zombie paloma
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#774
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Thank you for kind words, previous, those who did.I guess the thing that hurts is that people I thought mattered, really don't matter, except to themselves...and for too long a while, I made them matter to me. And the crash into the reality of that....makes me need to hurt myself.
Because I can't deal with the reality of the ones I wanted to matter.....not. I actually realized I can manage 'alone'.....how do I manage disappointment? The clinging kind that never quite brushes off.... I've really GOT to stop saying, if only in my mind "I wouldn't have done that to you!" because...they don't care...they're used to doing it...have gotten away with doing it...and claim their reasons are valid --except they would be MY reasons if I chose. BUT I WON'T. Ever. I would NEVER have done that to you. ![]()
__________________
![]() Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
![]() Anonymous100185, zombie paloma
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#775
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Gonna get drunk and forget everything tonight. Been binging a lot lately... and I miss A. God I'm lonely, scared and empty.
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![]() Espresso, waiting4, zombie paloma
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Closed Thread |
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