Hate DBT Group Sessions

Just into the second module of DBT. I'm thinking this might help me or it might not. I'll just have to try to get through it. The group thing is wretched. Doing the homework is wretched. They keep telling me "It's not going to cure you. You will always have BPD. We are just trying to teach you skills to help you cope with it." How am I going to learn when just attending sessions is all I can do? I have social phobia and GAD as well and Depression, of course. But it's the first two that make participating in Group and doing the homework so hard. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry it's so bad for you. I kind of had the same feelings when I first started. I thought it was rather stupid and useless at first, and it didn't help that the group leader did something completely idiotic the first day. But now I've been at it almost a year (wow! I can't believe that!), and I've found that it has helped me. I'm not cured. Not even close. But I have been able to use some of the skills, particularly from distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness. I would say, give it time. I've been doing it for a year and am still learning.

Do they force you to participate in group? I hate talking in groups like that, and usually they don't make me say anything unless I want to. Maybe you could talk to the leader and explain that speaking in group is detrimental to you.

jean - I can sortof relate to your post.

I am in DBT too. (I actually love group because I am in a room of people with my same issues). But I can see why it would bother you.

Here is what my therapist would say to you - you need to attend group because it is process of experiencing "discomfort" (or uncomfortable settings) that will allow to someday get PAST that issue. Otherwise you will linger in it forever.

Don't know if that helps you or not. But it makes sense to me.

I'm sorry you're struggling. What help do you receive for your other conditions? How good is the coordination between different types of care? If it's poor or if your general team is largely disinterested it can be very difficult to know how to progress. As i understand it, simultaneous forms of therapy are usually avoided anyway but of course that makes prioritizing different treatments pretty tricky. The PD psychologists i had weren't very interested in my other conditions either. I believe their refusal to acknowledge the co-morbidity was a major factor in me dropping DBT. I have a very poor CMHT and it took a long time for them to refer me to the PD team. Once i'd been referred they were even less interested and i couldn't expect a PD team to take on their job too. So i was struggling with a kind of therapy that has a lot of known methodological problems while the general team were dropping the ball on everything else. What hope did i actually have? It's very frustrating because as patients just how much responsibility can we take for professionals simply not doing their job? It may be that this kind of therapy is also ill-suited to you. There are other options, if you're finding the overly-conceptual nature difficult to relate too, MBT or more structured forms of psychotherapy might be better. What does your consultant make of all of this? Maybe go back to the source as it were and see if this is an issue that can be carefully untangled. I wish you the best.

I'm sorry you are having a rought time with it. I never did well with DBT either...

I agree with espresso, jean.

DBT was very helpful to me...but it takes time to become comfortable enough to share little bits of yourself here & there, in group DBT. Some relaxation exercises are more effective and comfortable than others. I really loved rubbing rocks, or looking at leaves, and HATED deep breathing exercises. Others were the opposite of me. To each his or her own.

Give yourself some time to adjust to DBT. Some leaders are definitely better than others! Hopefully, the 2 that your currently have will start to "ring bells" (make sense) very soon for you. Best wishes!

Please take heart you guys. What made me realize I had BPD was reading three accounts of BPD sufferers on Quora.com who had each done DBT and each found it immensely helpful. The issues they described having (what DBT taught them about) was exactly the things I have been unable to do, and therapists have told me that as well, which means that that therapist who diagnosed me with BPD years ago was correct (and it isn't autism/Aspergers, etc.).

One account basically described a cure. The reason I believe she was cured was that she genuinely feels different inside. The anger is gone, and the depression is gone and she feels genuine peace inside. She says she still needs to pay attention to what she learned in DBT and keep practicing it, but it isn't like she's trying not to feel anger or depression and pretending she doesn't feel those things. Another thing to note is she had taken DBT multiple times (she started about 2 years ago) so it does take time. Her comments sounded genuine. I hope others on this forum (and me) can have the same success. If you want to read the accounts, go to Quora.com and search for the question"What is it like to go through Dialectical Behavior Therapy" (or maybe it is "what is it like to go through DBT", I don't remember).

I will look into DBT myself. I found at a website there are several DBT providers in my area, so I have a few to choose from.

Assuming that by the "second module" you mean Interpersonal Effectiveness, keep in mind that it is the hardest section of the workbook for most people, and it also has the most time consuming homework. It can definitely feel overwhelming if you are depressed.

When you move into Emotion Regulation it will get a little easier, and most of the homework goes back to taking about 15 minutes a day.

Is your individual therapist DBT trained? Maybe he/she can help you figure out your uncomfortable feelings about group. I felt terrible about group until my T pointed out that I assume everybody has negative judgements about me, and that I actually have no idea what they really think.

Maaan... I feel you. After my diagnosis I still haven't done anything... It requires getting into the car *on my own*, going somewhere new *alone*, and then doing something I probably don't want to do. Never mind I have to pay someone for this.

I've looked up a therapist and a group session through my health insurance.

But you know what they say about healthy things. If it tastes bad it must be good for you! Stick with it!

I hate DBT as well..I love CBT and could relate to it very well. I am not borderline

Suspecting I am borderline or very close to and seriously considering DBT therapy, I read this thread out of curiosity...an "insiders" view, if you will.

I went to quora.com based on one of the responses (sorry - can't remember you're name right now!) mentioned and read the accounts and I'm so depressed and full of despair right now I can barely stand it. I didn't see myself in ALL that I read....but SO many things I did.

I am despondent. I am broken.