BPD and Identity Issues

How does the identity portion of the BPD diagnosis manifest itself in your case?

I'm asking because I'm at that stage again where I'm not sure I believe that there's anything wrong with me, and I'm trying to compare my potential identity issues with other people's experiences.

I suppose my identity issues are kind of tied in with my attachment issues. Basically, with me, without other people by my side, I'm nothing. And by that I mean I have absolutely no self-esteem or self-worth whatsoever. I don't know where I end and the people around me begin.

I hope this made sense. I'm quite bad at explaining myself. :P

I go through that. Big time. One stage I'm in the closet crying in the pits of hell and self loathing and a week/month or so later I'm thinking in fine.. It's the people around me and my situation.

My personal beliefs and opinions change and I don't know what causes the change sometimes. Sometimes when in conversation, conflicting thoughts run around in my head and I am not sure which one is right. Sometimes I am confused which way to present to my therapist. I need her to define the tone if u know what I mean. Around people I have an angry default presentation that hides that I don't know what I feel or think at all. It's painful for me. In relationships I switch back and forth between mainly what I think is two personalities and I can authentically feel each one. I think you should explain your symptoms to a professional and see what they think.

Hi, I have two types of identity issues:

1 - Gender identity issues (NOT to the point of wanting to change gender or anything of that sort). Though I'm quite happy being a guy, I feel like my life would have been much easier being female (wanting a savior as opposed to being a savior), if that makes sense. I long for a shoulder to cry on. In the dating world, that means I always lose

2 - Identity with respect to goals in life (stuff that really matters): Every few years (or weeks), this changes. Sometimes I think about becoming a lifelong search and rescue volunteer, on most days, all I want is to build lean body tissue, etc, ... you get the idea.

Hope this helps.

It's like havin a devil and a angel on your shoulder and them talking in ya ear as thoughts conflict in every conversation. Lol xxx

1. Having trouble deciding what is right and wrong, or with decisions and plans in general, constantly searching the different perspectives of things.
2. Hating and loving things about yourself at once or constantly alternating, often the same things have deep conflicting viewpoints
3. Not being able to connect to people or get what makes them tick or feeling like an alien pretending among them

edit - I also have the gender issue... but I have no idea if that is because of being borderline. It definitly makes me curious. As a child I would prefer to play the male role in any make-believe, and it is a perspective I continue to prefer when storytelling/writing. I get sort of bored of the female role? Hah... well, again, no idea if this is borderline or just some childish fantasy.

i just do not have a sense of identity , i do not know who i am or what i really want i feel much of what i experience is fake and yearn for something REAL,

Hi there
Although not diagnosed, I do relate alot to this.
I occasionally feel an urge, if that's the right word, to become something.
I find out about it and see myself as that identity. It'absolutely real to me when it happens, and I have never felt happy with who I am.
Currently it's religion. I neeed to 'become ' part of and follow a framework for living, or I feel empty of meaning.
Like you I struggle with the 'good' and 'bad' voices, and with opposing thoughts and ideas within a short space. It fels out of control sometimes and leads to spending money I shoudn't.
I don't know what my problem is, but I know I have one.

I have absolutely no idea who i am to be honest. I know that i have a collection of likes and dislikes which are subject to frequent and immediate change depending on my circumstances...i know there are those who would argue that this is the same for most people but with BPD there's a very particular kind of awareness. Speaking more generally, i feel that if you're 'crazy' and don't know it...great, but if you do know, yeah it's a very different ball game.

I always change and reinvent myself.

Like one day I will be indie, and creative and artsy, then I will want to be intellectual and studious.

One minute I am career focused then I want to travel.

My 'phases' take over my whole life, feminism, baking, art, reading, clubbing, gym, poetry, buddism, bdsm, charity work, working with children, writing.

When asked what my goals and hobbies are, my answers could be different and opposing in any given month or year.

I adopt different personas based on who i am with, and it takes over to the point I genuinely don't remember the parts of me which don't fit with that persona..

Plus I find this hard to explain because I often feel what I am in that moment is definitely the real me.

i feel exactly the same. ^

It's the same with me too. Without others I am nothing. I feel as though I shouldn't even exist...
I usually feel fake too. Whatever group of people I'm around, I act like them without even realizing it. If I'm around too many different personalities, it feels as though my system has crashed. My interests never last. My fascination with people who I aspire to be like never lasts. I don't know who or how I should be. I feel like I can't just be me cause there's nothing there.

EXACTLY how I feel.

I definitely identify with the last line. 'Just be yourself' feels like an empty slate waiting for context in order to be filled.

When I am with people, especially a lot of them, I feel like I am another species quietly observing, and wondering how long I will have to be there with these strange entities. LOL.

Your signature quote is awesome!