Hate myself?

One minute I LOVE myself, think I'm sexy and can do anything. Then one thing goes wrong or I mess something up and then all of a sudden I can't STAND myself. tell myself I'm worthless, I ruin everything. I look at myself in the mirror and I'm disgusted. Think I should die.

I hate this. I'm trapped in my own mind and it is toxic to other people. I can't hold down a relationship for the life of me. I need help. Please someone tell me if you ever get this way because of the BPD, and how you get through it?

I don't have BPD......well once they were gonna tag me with it.

Can you practice CBT and try to intervene when you notice those thought coming in? I know we can't help thoughts popping into our head. For me with bad depression I have all kinds of thoughts that just pop in. I can notice them though and challenge them as to not being true. It won't pop me out of depression but over all it helps with self worth and self love.

Have you tried DBT?

I suck at relationships ... not a single successful relationship in 30 years to talk of, so I cannot offer any relationship-specific advice.

The only thing I know without a shred of doubt, is that you need to be your own best friend ... protect yourself, love yourself, realize your worth in this world and in every social setting you find yourself in.

You have all my empathy and understanding. Know that you're certainly not alone in this regard.

I haven't tried DBT yet actually- I'm really interested in learning about it though. I don't really know of a lot of places that offer it- I've been inpatient and outpatient and they've only ever taught CBT. If you have any resources I could use that would be so super appreciated

Yeah, I'm kind of like that. I don't go all the way to loving myself, but I can be generally satisfied with myself sometimes. Then I'll make a mistake or think I did something stupid, and I'll loathe myself, beat myself up, want to hurt myself, want to kill myself, etc. I get through the intense part of it by telling myself to knock it off, sometimes even out loud. I try to think about other things, distract myself. I tend to avoid people because I usually end up berating myself after any social interaction.