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#26
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor
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#27
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I've picked up the habit of coming home from work and smoking a joint or two. Probably not the best...but meh.
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() Achy Turtle Armor
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![]() Bill3, PixieRN
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#28
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__________________
...In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator
![]() -Daughter |
#29
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I just feel I need...something. Like I can't unwind and the dogs are stressing me out and work and all that. Hopefully I can keep it in check.
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() Bill3
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#30
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I feel abandoned and profoundly alone. I don't want to go through this anymore.
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![]() Anonymous200104, Bill3, dancinglady, helplessandhopeful
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![]() dancinglady
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#31
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I am feeling very disappointed. In myself I guess. I could have done better.
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor, Bill3
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#32
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You have a mental illness stop beating up on yourself so much. U r doing the best u can with what u have.
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor
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#33
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Same old same old. Same stuff different day.
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![]() Bill3
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#34
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I'm so tired. This depression is killing me. I can't seem to break out of it. I have to call my mom. At least my anxiety isn't too bad today. I think this sitting on my bed is making me so insular that now I have no hope of ever getting off my bed. I'm scared and worried.
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor, Bill3
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#35
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I called my mom. Every time I do, I have trouble breathing. She's hard of hearing and too vain to use a hearing aid so she doesn't hear me gasping for breath as she goes on and on about nothing. I don't blame her for what she talks about because I offer so little. That goes back to when I was a child, tortured by bullies at school. I came home crying and she asked me what I did to them. I resolved I'd never tell her anything important again and I haven't. So I don't really say anything at all and she goes on and on about her lunch, her flowers, her ailments, her conversations, etc. And I gasp for air.
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor, Bill3
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#36
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reality checks are nice .... i just got my own wake up call and realise i have been nuts for months ..... nuts ..... on to taking care of myself from now on .... geepers i've been stupid
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor, Bill3
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#37
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Why do you think you have been nuts for months. This is the second place you have stated that same idea.
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![]() Bill3
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#38
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Oh - its because I was trying to help people that honestly? Wasn't my place to try and help them in the manner in which I was attempting to help them. I mean don't get me wrong; there's support and help like here on Psych Central - on the Forums and networking with people here - I love the dual relationship - giving support and getting support in return - but I got in way above my head - trying to support people who don't even live in the same continent as me on Skype - just not a good idea.
Making friends on Skype from here - sure - by all means I will. |
![]() Bill3
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#39
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I feel sad and restless. I can't pinpoint exactly why, except that I am lonely, for all of the reasons that I'm always lonely--I don't connect with others and I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.
I feel clueless (as usual) when it comes to other people. I feel that I get along well with others, coworkers and classmates, and yet roughly half of those same people I friend-request on FB don't accept the request. I understand that everyone has different policies about whom they accept on there (close friends vs. "just coworkers" but...I seem to be the only person I know getting rejected this much. Someone told me recently that I am "unique," that my verbiage, for example, is out of the ordinary. But she couldn't give an example. She said, "You can tell that you're really smart, but you don't talk down to others." I could tell she was choosing her words carefully, but I still don't know if she was trying not to insult me, or if she was complimenting me. She also said, "You're someone people either love or hate." That's probably true. I just wish more people loved me, and less people hated me. Another person told me that I come off as very defensive, that it is more often than not in my body language and facial expression. I guess I'm not really sure how to remedy that; I don't feel defensive most of the time...this is just my body, it's just my face. There isn't much I can do about either. I could walk around smiling all the time, but I'd look like an idiot. On the other hand, defensiveness is a vicious cycle--you are made aware of having walls up and so you make an effort to let them down only to have people come in and hurt you, so the walls come right back up again, and you feel justified for having them in the first place. In any case, I need to delete my FB account for good, really. It only causes me to feel badly about myself. |
![]() Achy Turtle Armor, Seeker101
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#40
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I feel like I was just run over by a truck.
![]() This morning I woke with a fever so I thought eff it! They are just going to have to deal.
__________________
...In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator
![]() -Daughter |
![]() Anonymous200104
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#41
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I'm doing good. Sending positive vibes everybody's way.
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![]() Angelique67, Bill3, JadeAmethyst
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#42
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Same miserable crap as always. Fighting with my husband, feeling miserable, out of options. I feel so alone and isolated.
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![]() Anonymous200104, Bill3, JadeAmethyst
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#43
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I am still doing well.
Wishing everyone some peace of mind. |
![]() Angelique67, Bill3, Bubbles&Buttercup, JadeAmethyst, Jrthomas575
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#44
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Feeling like I just go round and round. I'm stuck. Other than that, I'm still breathing.
__________________
Dx: MDD, BPD, Complex PTSD, Moderate Bi-Polar I, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Kidney Failure Stage 3 History of Migraines Spinal Fusion at Cervical 5-7 Rx: Currently - Latuda 80 mg, bupropion 300 mg, hydroxyzine 50 mg, lisinopril 20 mg, Cymbalta 90 mg, counseling. Past - Imitrex, Fiorcet, Ergostat, Zoloft, Lamotrigine, Oxcarbazepine, Abilify, Paxil, Celexa, Pamelor, Soma, Norco, Flexeril, Diclofenac, mirtazapine, trazodone, lithium, DBT group & individual therapy. ![]() Ain't that the truth?!? ![]() |
![]() JadeAmethyst
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#45
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I feel peaceful. Tranquil is a pretty good synonym to throw in there too
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![]() JadeAmethyst, tigersassy
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#46
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i have no fight left.
__________________
The world is not blind it does not want to see !!! ![]() dx severe Depression Gad Social phobic Borderline pd part time insomniac |! ![]() |
![]() Anonymous200104, Anonymous200125, helplessandhopeful, JadeAmethyst
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#47
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I have three weeks off in August, between summer semester and my last quarter (my leadership rotation) of school. I've decided that I'm going to spend those weeks sleeping. Yes, all of them. All of the weeks, all of the hours. Sleeping.
I'm so freaking exhausted, mentally/physically/emotionally. No, this isn't BPD. It's just nursing school. ![]() |
![]() Bill3, JadeAmethyst, Seeker101
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![]() Bill3, Bubbles&Buttercup, JadeAmethyst
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#48
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feeling like i have to fight for attention from my friend. Pretending to be positive so that he don't hate me and stop talking to me. it is exhausting when deep inside i am just sad with the thought that i am not equal with his other friend. Probably just over thinking as he said he treat us equally. but can't keep the nagging feeling that he prefer other people better than me.
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![]() Anonymous200104, JadeAmethyst
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![]() Angelique67, Bill3, JadeAmethyst
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#49
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I'm currently in a short stay in hospital. Should be out soon I hope. Fortunately not many restrictions per say. So I'm just relaxing on my bed chatting to the nurses here. My nurse is great. Unlimited coffee (and shhhh I won't mention that us patients do go outside for a smoke
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![]() Anonymous200104, Anonymous200145, FooZe, JadeAmethyst
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![]() Bubbles&Buttercup, JadeAmethyst
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#50
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