[cryingontheinside]

How do you get the mental health professionals to listen to what you need and what kind of therapy should I be asking for ? I have BPD .

[adashofhope]

DBT is supposed to be the best choice for people with BPD. If you can find a good DBT program in a group setting, those can be really good.

I also think mixing DBT with other therapies can be even more effective.

I also came across this one therapist in the UK who specializes in working with BPD clients. She does a mix of DBT, schema therapy, Jungian therapy, and some others. This is her website Eggshell Therapy and Coaching

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by adashofhope

DBT is supposed to be the best choice for people with BPD. If you can find a good DBT program in a group setting, those can be really good.

I also think mixing DBT with other therapies can be even more effective.

I also came across this one therapist in the UK who specializes in working with BPD clients. She does a mix of DBT, schema therapy, Jungian therapy, and some others. This is her website Eggshell Therapy and Coaching

Thank you. I told the mental health team I needed therapy then they asked me why and what kind . I didn't know which kind to say I just know I need therapy .

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

Thank you. I told the mental health team I needed therapy then they asked me why and what kind . I didn't know which kind to say I just know I need therapy .

I try and keep it simple. like you said you needed therapy. so why do you think you need therapy. when I feel like I need therapy there is something that I need to work out, a problem of some kind. maybe think about what made you think you needed therapy. is there a problem that you feel you cant work out on your own.

what kind of therapy goes with what ever problem you need to be in therapy for... if its a behavior problem then behavior therapies (DBT, CBT, and others center on teaching someone how to make changes and better their behaviors and thoughts) if the problem is stress then stress relief therapies work like art therapy, meditation therapy and others that center on learning how to control your stress reactions....

the first step though is to figure out why you feel you need therapy, that will lead you to what kind of therapy you need. each person has their own problems and so different therapies work for different people.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Recently when speaking with my cousin, he mentioned an idea I had not thought of. Let me explain.

See, in counseling I was always placed in CBT. I got so good at it I knew exactly what to tell them so I would get what I needed since they never seemed to care much about my issues anyway.

So - the things I learned in CBT that were good for me were the relaxation techniques n coping strategies and understanding "its not my fault".

Then, I heard about DBT. I was intrigued and wanted to try it out. Unfortunately my insurance refused to pay for any of those counselors. So - I taught myself via the books both online and in stores.

The things I benefited from DBT were to analyze everything I was feeling, every action or reaction I had, and figuring out why I feel this way or want to do this and what other options there are and which one is best - but also, giving myself permission to just feel. Learning that I and every other person on this earth only control ourselves - our actions, decisions, beliefs, reactions, thoughts, and emotions - but we cannot and should not try to control others. We can influence them, but never control. It gave me back control of myself and have me the sense of empowerment I needed to not have to feel I needed to wear a mask if I felt depressed - I was allowed to do that n if others can't handle it that's on them.

But even after all that, I felt, I had "mostly recovered" but - something is still missing n that's why I still spiral when under too much stress.

So - when I was talking to my cousin ... He explained, there is a 3 step process to it.

1. CBT
2. DBT
3. ACT

I had never heard of ACT - what it does, is teach you how to put everything in focus so to speak. Only do things when they are in line with your values. It teaches you how to stop trying to be what others want you to be and start being you. How to just let things "be" and not try to turn them into something else or dwell on them.

So ... That's the step I am missing. I don't know where the rest of you are.

After he explained all this to me, it made sense how it worked together. At least to me.

Hope that helps.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Recently when speaking with my cousin, he mentioned an idea I had not thought of. Let me explain.

See, in counseling I was always placed in CBT. I got so good at it I knew exactly what to tell them so I would get what I needed since they never seemed to care much about my issues anyway.

So - the things I learned in CBT that were good for me were the relaxation techniques n coping strategies and understanding "its not my fault".

Then, I heard about DBT. I was intrigued and wanted to try it out. Unfortunately my insurance refused to pay for any of those counselors. So - I taught myself via the books both online and in stores.

The things I benefited from DBT were to analyze everything I was feeling, every action or reaction I had, and figuring out why I feel this way or want to do this and what other options there are and which one is best - but also, giving myself permission to just feel. Learning that I and every other person on this earth only control ourselves - our actions, decisions, beliefs, reactions, thoughts, and emotions - but we cannot and should not try to control others. We can influence them, but never control. It gave me back control of myself and have me the sense of empowerment I needed to not have to feel I needed to wear a mask if I felt depressed - I was allowed to do that n if others can't handle it that's on them.

But even after all that, I felt, I had "mostly recovered" but - something is still missing n that's why I still spiral when under too much stress.

So - when I was talking to my cousin ... He explained, there is a 3 step process to it.

1. CBT
2. DBT
3. ACT

I had never heard of ACT - what it does, is teach you how to put everything in focus so to speak. Only do things when they are in line with your values. It teaches you how to stop trying to be what others want you to be and start being you. How to just let things "be" and not try to turn them into something else or dwell on them.

So ... That's the step I am missing. I don't know where the rest of you are.

After he explained all this to me, it made sense how it worked together. At least to me.

Hope that helps.

Thank you so much for that advice . I haven't had any of those therapies but I will ask for it and see if I can get it. I was offered DBT once but my agoraphobia was so bad at the time that I couldn't leave the flat to do it . I think I could do it now if it was offered . thanks again for your advice

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

You're welcome

Here is a very basic outline of ACT. It does say it is mostly for anxiety n depression but it uses mindfulness (which is a lot of what DBT is based on) and blends in some of the core values of CBT as well.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acce...itment_therapy

[lucyjon]

I don't know if this will help you and you don't have to take my advice. The following is just an idea. Recently you found out about that person at my church who is stalking me, the one who put his hand on my throat. My priest was in a similar situation, he was taken hostage. He told me I will be going through PTSD. Let me tell you I never experienced this and I have suffered visions of my attack. Being terrified in public when men of his size are near me, nightmares, etc. My priest is willing to talk me through this and I will be arranging an apt to talk to him.
Only reason I bring this up is perhaps you could talk to a priest or a pastor who suffers from this and could counsel you. Or talk to someone, not in the psychology field, who also has suffered BPD disorder for a long time.
B.T.W. My restraining order has been approved, yet I still am scared. It seems. The man who did this to me is allowed to be at my church. This means We will be in church together. He can't talk or get close to me, yet seeing and knowing he could be there isn't a comfortable thought. God be with you.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

You're welcome

Here is a very basic outline of ACT. It does say it is mostly for anxiety n depression but it uses mindfulness (which is a lot of what DBT is based on) and blends in some of the core values of CBT as well.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acce...itment_therapy

Thanks . I have a lot of anxiety and depression so this will be very helpful to me. I can't afford therapy so I have to rely on whatever my mental health team is willing to provide but I will ask them. If i dont get another chance to do DBT i will buy the book like you did and hopefully still get something out of it. But thank you because DPT was the only one i had heard of untill today so i now know what to ask for

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by lucyjon

I don't know if this will help you and you don't have to take my advice. The following is just an idea. Recently you found out about that person at my church who is stalking me, the one who put his hand on my throat. My priest was in a similar situation, he was taken hostage. He told me I will be going through PTSD. Let me tell you I never experienced this and I have suffered visions of my attack. Being terrified in public when men of his size are near me, nightmares, etc. My priest is willing to talk me through this and I will be arranging an apt to talk to him.
Only reason I bring this up is perhaps you could talk to a priest or a pastor who suffers from this and could counsel you. Or talk to someone, not in the psychology field, who also has suffered BPD disorder for a long time.
B.T.W. My restraining order has been approved, yet I still am scared. It seems. The man who did this to me is allowed to be at my church. This means We will be in church together. He can't talk or get close to me, yet seeing and knowing he could be there isn't a comfortable thought. God be with you.

Thats terrible that he is allowed to attend the church where he did this . im sorry that you went through this. Im glad you got your restraining order but you still have to see him so that really is not good .

I have wanted to go to church for some time now but i barely leave my flat and i need to build up my confidence or have someone take me .

I dont know any one personally who has or will admit to having bpd . i could talk to someone in church when i start going but i think i would have to build a friendship with them first which will take time. Thank you so much for your advice and i am sorry what you went through recently .

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

Thanks . I have a lot of anxiety and depression so this will be very helpful to me. I can't afford therapy so I have to rely on whatever my mental health team is willing to provide but I will ask them. If i dont get another chance to do DBT i will buy the book like you did and hopefully still get something out of it. But thank you because DPT was the only one i had heard of untill today so i now know what to ask for

You're welcome. I'm glad I could help. I wish you well on your journey to recovery. ❤