Out Of Options

I am completely out of Ideas on what to do anymore. I am hurting so much that the pain has taken over my life! The meds aren't helping and I am getting so depressed because I feel so helpless at times. I used to be VERY active and now I am lucky to even leave the house. I once was a Nurse/Paramedic, a Captain for a Search & Rescue Unit and now I am NOTHING! I have two beautiful daughters and it kills me that i can't go out and play with them. I'll never again be able to take them hiking or camping. I seem to be trapped in a cruel and endless cycle. I am getting so depressed that I am worried that I am just shut myself out of reality and be doomed to sit here and rot! I just don't know what to do anymore!!!

Hi there, boncliffkennels.

You are absolutely not "nothing". As you've pointed out, you have two beautiful daughters and they will need you, even if they/you sometimes don't know it. I'm 27 - I for sure still need my dad. Just being there for them will mean a lot, in the long run. Running around with them isn't everything; sure, it's nice, but being there when they need you for advice or general support is what truly matters, in my eyes. I'm sure they understand, and if they are too young to do so, as they get older, it'll make more sense.

Do you receive professional help at all? If not, I think it's time to consider it, because you shouldn't feel alone like this. I don't suffer with chronic pain (forgive me if I've no right to say any of this - I just didn't want you feeling unheard) but being alone and restricted in some way is something with which I am familiar. Without support from therapy, a support group, my dad, my best mate, and of course PC, I certainly wouldn't be as strong as I am now. It's OK if you need help, ... as far as I'm concerned, you've more than earned it.

Take care of yourself.

I get it and often feel the same way. Constant incredible pain is a life destroyer. I'm reading a great book right now about confronting chronic pain. Maybe a look on amazon or in a local bookstore will help you find some books that will offer some options. Also talk with you primary doc about how you are feeling. There may be some more options that you are unaware of. Also if you aren't seeing a therapist I highly encourage you to find one. Ask your primary doc for a referral to someone that knows about chronic pain. You aren't alone. Your life isn't at an end. You are most certainly NOT nothing! Your life has worth and great value. I'm hoping you can find some ways to live above the pain! Don't give up!

My doctor got me involved in a very gentle but effective exercise program for my severe fibromyalgia (to accompany Cymbalta, Flexoril (sp?), etc. It's Classical Stretch. Just type Classical Stretch in your search engine. This program keeps the chronic pain to a manageable level and eases my depression. When I started the program six years ago, I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't work, and I couldn't do activities with my husband and daughter. It's not a cure-all, but it has improved the quality of my life 110%.