Sudden anxiety

This is no fun, for seemingly no reason......I have the shakes and my chest feels tight and I am totally anxious that something bad is abou to happen.............

I was beginning to feel pretty good too since this month long chest infection is getting better finally.....

Then bam!

(I think I am worried about the upcoming stuff, family visiting, all of them, including mother and a brother who did some stuff......I'm trying to ignore that.....and the expectations. I just want to say EFF THEM ALL!)

CPTSD......so many 'joys' that hit unexpectedly and randomly to affect your peace......you can EFF OFF TOO.

Sorry for the bad language, will get back to normal soon hopefully.....

((Jane)),

You are having anticipation anxiety right now, that can happen a lot with PTSD and it really takes time to learn how to manage it better.

You have been confronting your own deep challenges and as you know that brings up some very uncomfortable emotions. However Jane, you actually "can" get past this and learn how to look at others in a very different light too. What you "will" slowly learn is that when you are dealing with others that are dysfunctional, you will slowly gain in being above them in a "knowing" verses the way you had been with "unknowing and absorbing".

I had experienced an exchange this past month and it did upset me. I was taken by surprise in the way the other person responded and it was not nice either. It took me time because I had already been dealing with the fact that November is a bad month for me, full of bad memories. However, I was also able to recognized that the other individual was choosing to take a "low road" and it reflected badly on the other person. When that happens and can be triggering, it is yet another opportunity to realize that the other person is the one with the problem and to take a moment and step back and finally recognize that it is also another opportunity to learn how "not" to accept whatever it is "emotionally". From one person struggling with PTSD to another, yes, I know this is a challenge, not something others who do not struggle will be able to "validate" and "respect" either. That is what is so isolating and deeply challenging about it which is why it is so important to have access to others that "do" understand and can relate who know it is a lot of work and far from any "just".

((Jane)), I get those shakes too, I get so I am cold to my core in a different way then just being cold too. When I get that way I take a time out and sit with a space heater or even take a blow dryer or a hot shower because "heat" is relaxing and calming. It is also very helpful to take time out and free up your mind and allow yourself to stop spinning in thoughts too. And it is ok to "cry or weep" too because it helps to reduce the built up stress and slows the mind down as well.

It takes time to let go of the "I have to's" as well, because you will slowly learn that you really can let go instead of the unreasonable expectations you may put on yourself too.

It is a process ((Jane)), a slow healing process that as you take it as patiently as possible one day at a time, eventually you will recognize how much you are actually making "gains", like Mowtown is now experiencing.

Other people are going to express "issues" and it really takes time to slowly learn how to just walk past these people and not make their issues "your issues". I am not saying that is "easy" either because with PTSD, it can be quite the challenge, however, as you keep talking about it, getting support with it from others who do understand, you will continue to "heal and make gains" on it.

It is good that you are venting here as needed, you definitely deserve to be supported.

((((Jane))))

You are safe now, even though your body is trying to tell you that you're not. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this - well done for fighting it. This feeling deserves any bad language you care to throw at it!

I can understand your feeling worried by having lots of family round - things become less predictable and potentially very triggering. But at least it sounds like you will be on your own territory - hopefully that will make it easier.

I'll be thinking of you.


Bluegrey

Thank you both

I know these things come in waves and I am learning more and more how to allow it all pass. But in the moment it can feel so incredibly overwhelming.

I think because I shared a really difficult part of my history, something I am incredibly ashamed of, with my best friend yesterday also........it really sent me into a spin. It is something that I have only shared with my ex husband, my last closest friend and now my best friend(who I have now known for 3 years).....and it took me at least that long to share with each person. I was terrified that it would change how she feels about me, how any of them would see me.

So today, I feel a bit calmer and have put some of the memories away again. I feel safer. I am anxious in my head(if I allow myself to contemplate it) about the family thing.......but I am determined to live in the moment and try to see the joy rather than dwell on the past.

Easier said than done, but I'll be trying. Having my boy around certainly helps

"I know these things come in waves and I am learning more and more how to allow it all pass. But in the moment it can feel so incredibly overwhelming." quote Jane

Yes, I know how this is too and I don't like how in the moment that it is overwhelming either. But you did good, you talked about it and put it into words, that is important to making gains. You have emotions that are surfacing and it can be stressful when that takes place, so any time you can put it into words "helps" release whatever is surfacing, even though it doesn't quite feel that way in the moment.

Did you get a helpful response when you shared with your friend?

((Jane)),

When you are looking back on your history and you recognize something that you did or reacted to that you have been or are now ashamed of, you need to have a person that can listen to that and help you understand that whatever it was that you wish you had not done was something you did that at the time was based on your level of maturity and life experience as well as coping skills too. Also, what a victim tends to do is look back and recognize things they later feel they "should have known", possibly warning signs that they failed to recognize, possibly being overly trusting or even that they feel they somehow let their guard down and they blame themselves for whatever they experienced. Often, because they have the advantage of hind site, they can feel they underestimated the "potential" of whomever hurt them and "should have known better" comes to mind. However, Jane, it is important to recognize one's own inner workings and how a person can experience something from another person that is something they themselves would never even think of doing. Unfortunately, for example, when a woman is raped, she can begin to recognize and blame herself for how she might have allowed herself to be in a situation where she could be a victim. What she is not recognizing however is that many young women are adventurous and explore their independence and they don't really see the danger, they just don't. There is also that element that "it could never happen to me", that is what happens to others and people who do that have red flags, they are not attractive, they are weird, I have better judgement than that, this guy really likes me, we will just go someplace quiet and get to know each other and talk. And the truth is that is what "most" young women really think too.

The problem is that the further one develops away from that "lack of experience and knowledge" the more one can self blame with I was wrong to "trust" and be in the situation. And that is not being "fair" to one's self because the bottom line is at the time there really was not the maturity level, and this is something that so many women struggle with and "self blame" for. And often they don't seek help and guidance for it either because they somehow "self blame" and are too ashamed.

It is always important, as I mentioned, to be with someone that can understand the complexity of all this and help to be "supportive" and understanding of where that person was as far at their life experience and maturity level at the time. Because what the woman struggling needs to do the most is understand, and forgive "self". Sadly, so many don't know how to do that and they certainly deserve to learn and grieve and finally "heal" from that inner challenge.

I was just using an example of one situation where a person can struggle and deserves to finally "grieve and heal".

((Caring Hugs))
OE

I know how you feel.
I'm always overwhelmed after telling someone about my trauma. It feels like I've just made a huge mistake and I'm starting to second-guess myself, think I should never have said anything...
Scared of what the other side might think of me.
It's good you felt comfortable and safe enough to trust your friend, I can imagine it wasn't easy.
We may be afraid at first but once It's over, you might realise it actualy brought you closer.