[HD7970GHZ]

Hi community,

I know very little about the "Internal Family Systems" therapy modality.

Anyone had treatment with this modality for CPTSD? Was it effective? My therapist brings it up now and then and talks about my parts.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[reb569]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Hi community,

I know very little about the "Internal Family Systems" therapy modality.

Anyone had treatment with this modality for CPTSD? Was it effective? My therapist brings it up now and then and talks about my parts.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I had never heard of it, so I did a quick search for "Internal Family Systems Therapy".

Here are some links, the first to an article, the second to books:

https://www.selfleadership.org/outli...ems-model.html

https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&ke...l_9fl481viry_e

I'm not sure how effective this would be for CPTSD.

[MoxieDoxie]

EMDR and Internal Family systems saved my life and I am now thriving. Try it and do not snub your nose at it. Put in the work.

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you Reb569 and MoxieDoxie,

MoxieDoxie, I was wondering if by chance you could share more about your experience in EMDR and in IFS.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[TrailRunner14]

IFS has helped me greatly understand the parts of me and how they function and what they were created for.

It helps me journal from their perspective and hear their thoughts and understand their feelings and fears.

For some reason, when my counselor talked to me in that way, it just clicked and made sense.

I don’t rely on that solely but it helps me to put other modalities into my healing.

There are different parts of me that feel more comfortable with different things.

We have done structures which was very, very freeing. That’s talked about in “The Body Keeps the Score”. I can’t say enough about that book. IFS is also talked about in the book also.

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you Trailrunner,

I am really happy that it works for you. When you say that you have parts and that you listen to them, what kinds of things do they want and or need? What parts have you identified so far? I'm still identifying my parts.

I am excited to try and get to know more about IFS and related modalities.

My therapist has told me the basic concept with parts. It is funny you mentioned that the way your therapist talked to you made sense; I also feel the same way. I am very sensitive to tone of voice, are you? If my therapist talks to me in a soft / gentle tone of voice I instantly feel little... I have asked her to read my a bedtime story and I hope she does.

Currently I am in a bit of a quandary about how to handle the conflicting needs, wants and desires between the adult parts and the little parts. I often want to stay in my little space but that means neglecting my adult stuff... It often leads me to feel shame and regret among many other negative emotions. Trying to break out of this cycle is hard... Is this something you relate to?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[amandalouise]

my therapist and I did not use IFS. short version it went contrary to our mutual personal and therapeutic beliefs in that IFS works on suppressing/ repressing and distractions, rather than facing ones traumas, hard times, not actually taking care of the problems from that past that are causing problems in the present.

example when feeling pain, shame, anger, hurt or depressed (otherwise called exile parts) push those feelings away, lock them up somewhere and move on to happier things (otherwise called firefighting or firefighters) and remain in complete control of your life and everything outside yourself (otherwise called managing/ managers) and when the problems come up again just continue to do the same thing...repress, suppress, exile, push the bad away and move on with the happy happy life focusing outside yourself. over and over and over again.

where as mine and my therapists personal and therapeutic belief is a problem is going to keep being a problem until you find out what is causing the problem and take care of it, face the problems, we believe that if I want to stop dissociating or stop feeling angry, guilty what ever other emotions I need to not suppress/ not repress, not push it away, but rather discover what happened and why and then do some thing about it to change myself and my life for the better. and once the problem is taken care of it no longer keeps continuing to be a problem over and over and over again.

theres more to IFS like learning to like yourself, how to listen to your gut instincts and other things too but over all this way of doing things was not for my treatment provider and I simply because of the basics of supression/ repression push away and other aspects of it.

IFS is also for normal parts of self not something like what my system was (DID) its on the premise that everyone even non mental disordered people have these parts of selves known as exiles/ firefighters/ mangers. where as my alters were a bit different than the normal parts of selves.

not saying it cant be used with dissociative disorders, because it can be used for any mental and physical health problem, just that my DID alters were different than having normal Exiles/Firefighters and Managers. which is another reason why my treatment provider and I did not use IFS.

that said I do know some people that it has worked great for them.

your own treatment provider will be able to tell you whether it will work for you based on what ever therapy plans you are working on.

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you Amandalouise,

I appreciate you sharing your own experiences with life and in therapy.

I don't know much about the IFS modality; it is news to me that IFS leans towards suppressing the pain of the exiles / little / trauma parts. So far my therapist has been facilitating my little part, allowing me to show up with my teddy bears in sessions and wrap up in blankeys. Perhaps what you are referring to takes place at a later stage of recovery, which I suppose might make sense if the goal is to no longer need to regress when under stress.

I definitely don't resonate with full on DID alters / parts, however, the parts that I have do have their own needs, wants and desires and there is a lot of ambivalence between them. Sometimes I will spend all day in my little space coping with stress and giving my little side what it wants, but as a result, I will experience guilt and shame for not doing more adult-like things. It's as though I cannot find a happy medium to do; I'm damned it I do and damned if I don't. My therapist is currently helping me to identify my parts and learn what it is they need, want and desire. I believe the goal is to provide balance for my parts so that I am not always stuck in little-space or adult-space.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Thank you Amandalouise,

I appreciate you sharing your own experiences with life and in therapy.

I don't know much about the IFS modality; it is news to me that IFS leans towards suppressing the pain of the exiles / little / trauma parts. So far my therapist has been facilitating my little part, allowing me to show up with my teddy bears in sessions and wrap up in blankeys. Perhaps what you are referring to takes place at a later stage of recovery, which I suppose might make sense if the goal is to no longer need to regress when under stress.

I definitely don't resonate with full on DID alters / parts, however, the parts that I have do have their own needs, wants and desires and there is a lot of ambivalence between them. Sometimes I will spend all day in my little space coping with stress and giving my little side what it wants, but as a result, I will experience guilt and shame for not doing more adult-like things. It's as though I cannot find a happy medium to do; I'm damned it I do and damned if I don't. My therapist is currently helping me to identify my parts and learn what it is they need, want and desire. I believe the goal is to provide balance for my parts so that I am not always stuck in little-space or adult-space.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

sorry my post wasnt clear. I was taking mini breaks during the rush rush of family festivities....

I did not mean it causes or requires you to repress, supress, distract and so on, it works ....with .....those issues. think of it like a therapist that works with PTSD helps you to handle times when you have flashbacks.

IFS works with people who have problems with pushing away their feelings, or supressing them or using distractions rather than paying attention to what they need and taking care of their problems.

let me show you an example from today...

I was at a family gathering and someone said something that made me angry. rather than stand there and say you made me angry and deal with the situation, I acted out, told them where to put it and then pushed my anger down and went to talk with another group of family members as if everything was fine. it wasnt fine, that situation kept interfering with my enjoyment of the get together. This is a completely normal thing that can happen to anyone whether they have a mental or physical health problem or not...

if I was in IFS the process would look like this....

find a quiet place and have an internal conversation with myself (not alters in terms of DID, Im talking normal parts of self anyone can have)...

ok exile I just gave you my anger out there, its yours and you have every right to be angry. but you should not have told them where to go.

ok firefighter how are you going to go out there and fix this and manager come up with a plan so that it doesnt happen again.

Still talking to self....

but she said...
I know she said that but we cant go around telling people where to go and what to do.
I know we will go and apologize
and then we have this much time left here how about we do this that and the other thing (making a plan)

(during this conversation working with the normal parts of myself...(the feelings of needing to push things away (exile role) put out the fires (firefighters role) and micromanage everything (manager role) I keep asking myself questions until I feel everything is covered and I can go back to my life again.

this style would not have worked for me because there was no supressing, repressing, distracting....I had DID alters i didnt have exile, firefighter or mangers. each one of my alters were there to completely take care of those things that caused me to dissociate. for me dissociation was not a willful pushing away of my emotions and distracting myself, it was things like feeling numb and spaced out, disconnected. then my alters took complete control and handled that which I could not. example if what happened today happened before I was integrated my alter red would have taken control and took care of the problem, no supressing and pushing away of the emotion anger, red would have handled it completely

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

example when feeling pain, shame, anger, hurt or depressed (otherwise called exile parts) push those feelings away, lock them up somewhere and move on to happier things (otherwise called firefighting or firefighters) and remain in complete control of your life and everything outside yourself (otherwise called managing/ managers) and when the problems come up again just continue to do the same thing...repress, suppress, exile, push the bad away and move on with the happy happy life focusing outside yourself. over and over and over again.

Oh god you just described how I have got through life basically - I'm an expert firefighter and manager and many parts of me are such in deep exile but they are eating away inside of me. I have to be on the alert all the time.