cptsdvictim's journal

Reported him to the shelter staff. Fingers crossed. But I already see the reply from the manager: "you've got to get along with people". Read that as: you've to put up with abuse.

Of course, I recorded my conversation with the shelter staff. If the issue persists, I'll start recording the roommate and then take action legally. I don't have to put up with bullies.

Today I managed to get rest of the functionality and tests implemented. I also ran final tests on the code I wrote. Everything works as expected. With a small exception that I'll try to solve tomorrow morning. They didn't have soup at the vegan restaurant so I went to a vegetarian restaurant I stopped going a while ago because of how the owner treated me. This evening he was not there. Yay. The food was good. Also, since it happened last time, no abdominal pain and vomiting. Fingers crossed. This rules out the water. And I don't think it was the food either. Must be gastritis.

Came back to the shelter and as I was undressing the shelter staff knocked on the door and came into my room. Basically they acknowledged the problem (manager will talk to the bully) and when I confronted the shelter staff about COVID tests he agreed with me (that it's out of place). However, they also emphasized that I've to get along with my roommate for keeping an acceptable atmosphere in the shelter. I emphasized that I'm open to cooperation and reiterated on the examples I gave (that I'll wipe the floor after showering due to leftover water and that I'll rinse it so no shampoo foam is left behind). Shelter staff seemed happy.

In a C-PTSD combative world I would have had my own room and wouldn't have had to put up with this. Even better, I would've been housed. Alas we live in a world that is systematically oppressive. Especially if you're not neurotypical. Got to do what I can with what I've where I am.

It's amazing he's got all the energy given his childhood trauma. I have zero and am just white knuckling it every day.

Since yesterday, I've been all alone in the room. What the shelter staff told me (that the bully roommate will return on Tuesday) seems to be true and matches past behavior. Great to be alone.

That said, I worked for an hour on my project and glad to say I've fixed my bug. I also made the code error safe (though it should never be the case that it's needed).

There's still more work to be done and I don't think I'll get to review and merge the changes today. Most likely it will happen next week. Which is ok as the sprint is two weeks and I take only one such big issue per sprint, though it wouldn't have hurt to finish earlier and leave more time for another issue. Still, I'll still most probably finish this one earlier. Will probably squeeze some easy issues/bug fixes for the remainder of the sprint.

On Tuesday I'll see my doctor on my quarterly visits to get my anti psychotic prescription. I'll then schedule an appointment with my GP to send the prescription to a pharmacy. I'll bring up with him my digestive system issues and my right knee pain.

💜

I think something happened to my mother as all of the sudden people on her side of the family started reacting to my Facebook profile photo and a cousin(?) added me as friend. Is she dead? By suicide or something happened to her?

Well, no messages from them thus far. My co-nationals aren't of the resilient type (can't be after half a century of communism) so I'm not surprised they didn't say anything.

Searched for any news in the local press regarding keyword "woman" in my neighborhood but no results.

Oh, well. It'll be a mystery.

Found news of a woman having drowned at the beach. They say she was around 60 something years old. The age of my mother. Could it be this is her?

Or could it be they found out my father died a while ago and now they're showing empathy?

Today was a good day. Got some stuff done. Next week I'll finish writing tests. Then review and then hopefully merge. Tonight's Chana Masala was accompanied by a lot of green chilli. Probably the chef felt in the mood of giving. Man, that was a lot of green chilli. Though, I liked it. Even though it bordered on the level of insanity the amount of spiciness. Still liked it. 😂

Relax for the rest of the evening and tomorrow.

But sir, if Mary lived in a black & white reality, she wouldn't have cones and rhodes that process light frequencies other than black and white. 🤭

Man, I feel for the parent who didn't take a vacation in ten years due to cost of living and having children.

Complex Trauma Prisons - Mistrust - YouTube

Disclaimer: video may only be useful if you're in a safe place (are not in immediate danger, e.g. in an unsafe environment like a homeless shelter, or in unhealthy relationships). As Tim said in the video, you've to remain on the alert for predators/abusive people. So if you're in an unsafe situation, and still want to watch, make sure you adhere to keeping boundaries and not trusting unsafe people.

I resonated with quite a few things in this video, and liked the wording and description (not that there's any fun in finding pleasure in such things).

Oh my gosh! US Open starts in less than a month. Nice! For some reason, I thought it was later. It makes sense it's in August. Let's gooo! Also, I hope there'll be no yelling and screaming coming from the spectators. 😅

Back from lunch. Also bought toothpaste (they don't supply you with toothpaste & toothbrush in shelters; I don't complain as I've income from disability, but can't imagine people who are able but have no work [yet?] and have to wake up and go to sleep unsanitized). Can't lie, since the conflict with the bully and me reporting him to the shelter staff and the subsequent conversation we'd, I feel anxious and it's constantly on my mind re: how the bully will react. I already see it coming: him doubling down on the fact that verbal abuse is normal. Of course, if it continues I'll start recording and next step is to file a report to shelter authority. If the authority fails to find solutions I'll go to legal action. I took some photos of the bathroom and his bed (he has two towels! And was complaining he has to wash his towel every time after taking a shower because he wipes the bathroom floor with it). Just in case.

Min 38:00 - it can most certainly happen to you if you suffer from C-PTSD. Isn't it wicked how normalized homelessness and addiction is in the West?

Also, she mentioned she has ADD. I'm not so sure about it, but if it's true I owe her an apology.

Logged in my war journal the result of me reporting the bully and the findings of taking pictures today of the room.

Oh... My... Gosh! Breakdance will be in the Olympics as a sport! So cool! I did a bit of breakdance (non professionally) when I was a kid. My teacher asked me to do a move once in front of the class and I nailed it. That's a good memory I never thought about.

Also, physics and breakdance together? Oh my gosh! What's not to love?

Also, I see what they did with the video title. 😅😊