[Rhiannonsmoon]

Pray tell what methods each uses to deal with anger in a positive manner?

I prefer to confront it, must be a little of the christian divil in me?

Rhiannon will rush and bow and scrape her apologies for angering someone, it is embarrassing to watch at times, but is this positive or not?

Do you think it true that those who are afraid of anger dole most of it out?

Whatever it be, it needs be dealt with positively and with as much strength as would be put into the anger itself; just a thought and it is my thought only.

[geez]

RMoon I can tell you how to not deal positively with anger I am working on accepting my feelings, embracing them and processing them when it comes to anger,confilct.... It is really hard as the first twang of getting angry or a conflict with someone or upset I want to run and not deal (with my kids it's diff). I'm used to stuffing my feelings with food to get me passed the moment of anger - not something I would recommend as I'm obese (something I'm working on).

My T is helping me learn how to deal with these feelings, process them and be an 'adult' and address them in a constructive way. I hope for this to be an autopilot thing for me someday but it's hard to change what I have been doing for years.

I also journal to figure all this out.

[AmDaws]

Just today I found going for a drive down familiar streets helps. It allows me to think about my situations while being forced to focus on something important. So I don't get irrational, I just, think. I guess the same might be if you were drawing or painting a very detailed picture, or even doing laundry or washing dishes. I think if you can focus your mind on another task, the things that would normally bring you to a rage or to tears just sort of ... untie themselves and suddenly become more clear.

But as with every suggestion, this worked for one little person, and may work for some and not for others.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by geez

RMoon I can tell you how to not deal positively with anger I am working on accepting my feelings, embracing them and processing them when it comes to anger,confilct.... It is really hard as the first twang of getting angry or a conflict with someone or upset I want to run and not deal (with my kids it's diff). I'm used to stuffing my feelings with food to get me passed the moment of anger - not something I would recommend as I'm obese (something I'm working on).

My T is helping me learn how to deal with these feelings, process them and be an 'adult' and address them in a constructive way. I hope for this to be an autopilot thing for me someday but it's hard to change what I have been doing for years.

I also journal to figure all this out.

(jfyi that was Morgana not me, I'm Rhiannon, but I think the question is fair, she must have known about a situation that was going to pop up later in that day for me lol)

I think all of those ways other than eating are dealing with it positively. I've dealt positively with anger now for many years and yes I probably do apologise for making people angry at times, but I think I do that because I know what it is like to be angry and it's not nice so I would rather others dealing with me not feel that way.

I can't be responsible for how they react to things, that is their problem, but I don't wish anger for them, that is the same as wishing any other harm on someone and that isn't acceptable to me.

I really wish you the best success with your therapist,

Rhiannon

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by AmDaws

Just today I found going for a drive down familiar streets helps. It allows me to think about my situations while being forced to focus on something important. So I don't get irrational, I just, think. I guess the same might be if you were drawing or painting a very detailed picture, or even doing laundry or washing dishes. I think if you can focus your mind on another task, the things that would normally bring you to a rage or to tears just sort of ... untie themselves and suddenly become more clear.

But as with every suggestion, this worked for one little person, and may work for some and not for others.

These are some of the things I do when I am agitated with anxiety, not drive because I have epilepsy and I'm photophobic so the sun flashing through the trees apparently puts me "out".

But the dishes, having a house clean up, getting rid of stuff that should have been tossed the day it hit the front step, that sort of thing, and I alwasy feel better for it.

How are you Am? I really truly hope your heart is mending and that you are feeling better, even a little is a lot in your situation. There is nothing which can replace a broken heart, but people who care about you hope we can help mend it....


Rhiannon

[Shadowghost]

I have tried dealing with my anger in a positive manner before, exercising, going for walks, and even chopping down trees, but nothing really helps. Sometimes the initial rage will fade a bit, enough for me to control it, but the anger is always there, just below the surface, and the only thing I can do about it is either let it out or ignore it, distract myself with something. The anger only goes away with time, there's nothing I can do to get rid of it if I can't express it.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Chopping down Trees?!!!

I'm sorry you don't get any relief. It can take years to learn to deal with anger. I realised that my anger was based in my past and the way I had been treated by people who were supposed to care about me.

When I came to terms with the fact that I was an adult now and in control of what happened to me the anger seemed to melt away.

Once I realised I was only in a situation because I allowed myself to be and I could take action to change anything in my life that I was not powerless, things seemed to just take on a different meaning and a different light.

I do hope you can find peace shadowghost it is the most amazing feeling to be free of anger that is consuming. Sure I get snippy from time to time but it isn't an anger that controls me, it's an anger that says "don't do that",

Rhiannon

[Crew]

Hey there

I hope you end up with a lot of ways to get anger out safely. One of the things and one of the last things I ended up having to deal with was anger. Don't be like me, my anger was after I was beaten and ended up in a wheelchair permanent so that is when I felt all this anger and my anger turned to rage and then I let loose on the people that I loved because it was safe although a friendship or relationship destroyer forever. So as you are trying to get the anger out positively, journal about it work with T just don't let it become RAGE because in my experience I am still trying to heal friendships. Throw clay against a back drop with T present so he can help you get to the deep rooted rage. Just keep talking and reaching out to others and talk and put forth positive anger and put it towards the people you are angry at. I think T's think that anger is a process and I am sure it is yet I pushed anger away and ended up with Rage. Rage is NOT okay, yet ANGER is and I think both are fine if it is done from a positive place and directed at the person or person's that created that anger within you.
Know your in my thoughts and keep your pain and anger REAL meaning deal with it as you are doing now.

Your an inspiration!
Peace my friend,
Crew