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  #1  
Old Jan 21, 2012, 06:29 PM
Anonymous33070
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Don't worry... I won't be rude. I am just fed up with these thoughts telling me I won't ever get a job. I tried emailing a lady from the course about work but she hasn't responded. She might be busy. I keep getting suicidal thoughts. Will these get worse? I read on a poster on a wall in the classroom that if someone has suicidal thoughts they should tell the tutor. But does this mean I may have to tell my tutor if I have suicidal thoughts? I am jealous of my boyfriend who has a job and urgh these thoughts are annoying me. He is 23 so he is old enough to get a job. I am a bit young. Maybe it's not my time to have a job. The reassurance of the tutor did help me when I came in for an induction and she told that she will help in any way. If I need help I have to ask her. What would happen if I told her about my suicidal thoughts? I say I want to not be here as a way of saying I can't deal with this. One day I will loose it and just do something. I hate jealously. I know I keep posting the same stuff but I want to vent and I need to forget all these bad thoughts. Please shut up you bad thoughts.
Hugs from:
gma45, needfixing

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  #2  
Old Jan 21, 2012, 06:38 PM
Anonymous32723
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Happycheeks, I'm sorry if you have been asked this before - but I think it's a really important question: Would you be willing to seek professional help, ie, a therapist?

In my humble opinion, it really sounds as if you might benefit from therapy. Suicidal thoughts are to be taken seriously, but oftentimes they are just thoughts. You have to look deep inside yourself and ask whether these are thoughts, or whether they are thoughts with a plan AND intent to go through with it. Only you know this.

I hope you will keep posting here when you feel the need to get things out, or to talk to others...but I also hope you will consider seeing a professional. This website is a support site, but it will likely not provide any long-term help that a therapist can provide.
Thanks for this!
needfixing
  #3  
Old Jan 21, 2012, 06:45 PM
Anonymous33070
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Originally Posted by melissa.recovering View Post
Happycheeks, I'm sorry if you have been asked this before - but I think it's a really important question: Would you be willing to seek professional help, ie, a therapist?

In my humble opinion, it really sounds as if you might benefit from therapy. Suicidal thoughts are to be taken seriously, but oftentimes they are just thoughts. You have to look deep inside yourself and ask whether these are thoughts, or whether they are thoughts with a plan AND intent to go through with it. Only you know this.

I hope you will keep posting here when you feel the need to get things out, or to talk to others...but I also hope you will consider seeing a professional. This website is a support site, but it will likely not provide any long-term help that a therapist can provide.
I guess I would have to. I can't continue like this.
  #4  
Old Jan 21, 2012, 11:45 PM
Anonymous45023
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happycheeks! It does sound like it would be a very good idea to talk with your tutor. Beside herself, maybe she can help you find someone to talk with about what's going on. Unwanted and harmful thoughts are no fun at all and it can really help to talk with someone, not only for the talking itself, but for ideas/techniques they might have to help you deal with them, you know?

On the job thing... you've probably already heard it a million times before, but the economy really is just that rough these days. It can be hard, but try not to take it personally, ok? (I've been out there in the working world 33 years(!) and have never seen it like this. So, yeah...It's not you, sweetie. ) It'll come back around.

Wish I had the power to banish all the harmful thoughts from your mind, but it just doesn't work that way. Your best course is to talk with your tutor and see what is available to you for help working through them, ok?
  #5  
Old Jan 22, 2012, 02:35 AM
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gma45 gma45 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: In & out of my mind!
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Enjoy not working while you can. It's not all that great and once you start that's it.....then it's work work work until u are old like me and I Still work! It is not all that it is cracked up to be!
  #6  
Old Jan 22, 2012, 03:56 AM
Anonymous33070
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Originally Posted by gma45 View Post
Enjoy not working while you can. It's not all that great and once you start that's it.....then it's work work work until u are old like me and I Still work! It is not all that it is cracked up to be!
You are so right. I should stop worrying because I feel like it won't do me any good. I need to enjoy myself at the moment. I can't do anything at the moment. Last night I was panicking kinda and I felt bit sick. Thank goodness I slept fine last night. I listened to relaxing stuff and helped me sleep. I'm sorry if I keep on going.
  #7  
Old Jan 22, 2012, 05:00 AM
Anonymous33070
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Oh great
  #8  
Old Jan 22, 2012, 07:23 AM
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SoupDragon SoupDragon is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happycheeks View Post
Oh great
I so feel for you - I SI have sui thoughts and really struggle with self esteem, depression and anxiety. I am on my own with this IRL, no-one knows and those I have tried to tell prefer not to know. So I know how hard it is.

At one point I got so low, that I knew things were pretty desperate for me and so I sought the support of a T. That is such hard work, to really look at oneself, to stop blaming life for how we feel, to learn to accept the feelings as "my" feelings and not the fault of everyone else. Sometimes I get it wrong (I shared the e-mail incident at work - it was my anxiety that had triggered my defensiveness at that point and made me react to the situation).

Happycheeks I have read time and time again on here how people support you, care about you. People have wished you happy birthday, re-accepted your friendship requests and forgiven your posts which have been negative towards us. I know people on here care about you, that you matter, but you just don't seem to be able to hear them.
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  #9  
Old Jan 23, 2012, 07:23 PM
IceCreamKid IceCreamKid is offline
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Hi Happy. When I had suicidal thoughts I told my family physician and she gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant and that made the thoughts go away. I was still a little depressed but I no longer had those thoughts. I feel better now (she upped the dosage). You can start with your family doctor -- a general practitioner) and yes, I think talking to your tutor about how you are concerned about getting a job is a good idea. The tutor will be glad to know you are keen to work. I send you all the morale support I can. I wish I had a nice daughter like you.
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