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#1
Mar 24, 2013, 12:50 PM
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author unknown
To be worthful is to know that I am unconditionally loved and accepted in the universe just for being. I am born into this world with worth, and no one can ever take that away from me - although many have tried. When I can connect with a power greater than myself, or any human, I learn that I am a miracle of creation - full of worth and talents. Because my child-self was abused, I need to affirm myself each day that I have worth - just because I am. quote: "No less than the trees and the stars I have a right to be here." Desiderata Today I take time to affirm my worth in whatever creative way I choose. As I do this, I take back my power and reclaim my natural right. |
 whatbeanbelieved
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#2
Mar 24, 2013, 12:58 PM
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The amount of shame I received from my abuser's act may have caused my child-mind to decide that I was so worthless that I had no right to exist; no right to be alive. Shame is a powerful feeling. When it was inflicted on me as a child by an adult's shameless act, I had no defenses to keep it out of my developing self.
Many of us may have thought about suicide many times before: during and even after recovery has begun. I believe that the suicide gesture is about challenging our inherent right to live. Our abusers mentally stripped us of this right, and we need to seek and accept all the support we can while we encounter this message. Today I affirm my right to be alive. I affirm my right to enjoy the beauty the world gives me. And most of all, I affirm my right to cherish myself as a valuable and precious being - worthy of life. |
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#3
Mar 24, 2013, 01:05 PM
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Because my abuse as a child was so profound - spiritually, emotionally, and physically - I have been waiting all my life to feel good.
Abuse filled my childhood with so much unhappiness and so little respect, that I feel as though I have been waiting forever to feel differently. I want to feel better now; I want all that pain, anger, and fear to go away now! This is when I need to be most gentle with myself. As I begin to recognize my uniqueness in the universe, I become more willing to accept the pace of my own unique process. My process is like no one else's. My recovery is like no one else's. My pace is my pace. As I begin to respect this pace, I learn to trust that I won't hurry myself to do something before I am ready. Today I am learning to be gentle and patient with myself. As I am able to accept that my Higher Power knows what is best for me, I learn to let go and relax with my process. |
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#4
Mar 24, 2013, 01:14 PM
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Trusting is probably one of my most difficult developmental tasks I have to master. As a result of my abuse, I learned that no one could be trusted - not me, not God, and certainly not other people. I may have lived most of my life in fear, yet with a longing to at last be able to relax and trust someone or something.
As a child my natural inclination to trut was stolen from me by my abusers. Even after repeated attempts at trusting others, I did not experience a feelling of safety. People in my family were loyal to the secret about the sexual abuse and could not provide a natural trusting environment for me. So, as a child, I quickly concluded that life and the world were not safe. As I recover from my abuse, I need to be most gentle and patient with my need and longing to trust. I have lived my life for so long from a position of fear and distrust, that I need to be patient and slow with myself developing this ability. Today I affirm my need and natural right to trust by acknowledging my longings, and by demonstrating through my behavior that I am moving in the direction of trusting at my own unique and precious pace. |
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#5
Mar 24, 2013, 01:23 PM
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to Me as a Child from Who That Child Was
Having only a child's mind, I decided that who I was as a child was directly related to my abuse. Since I had no one to tell me that I was precious and worthful, no matter what others did to me, I surmised that what was done to me was who I was -- shameful and terrifying. I carried these feelings into my adulthood and continued to wonder why I had so much self-loathing and so little self-esteem. I may have even tried to rid myself of these "demons" by trying to do away with myself. Perhaps I could see no other way to relieve myself of these overwhelmingly painful feelings. I have learned in recovery that those feelings of shame and terror were not at all a part of who that child was. They were feelings passed on to me by abuser's shameful and terrorizing acts. With my recovering adult thinking, I can separate the acts of my abuser from my precious and worthful child. i do this by affirming that child and by walking with her/him through the grief and process of returning the shameful feelings to her abusers. I become lighter and more joy-filled as I continue to let go of shame that does not belong to me and as I allow myself to have the feelings about wha was done to me. Today I can return those feelings to the rightful owners so that my precious and worthful child can at last emerge. |
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#6
Mar 24, 2013, 01:32 PM
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My Higher Power Is Always with Me, Whether I Can feel It or Not
When i experience times of feeling utterly alone, i can remind myself that my Higher Power is with me and knows how I feel. this concept may be difficult to trust, but if I continue to affirm this, I will come to believe it. My abuse experience taught me that I was all alone and that there would be no help or support forthcoming. i internalized that feeling of total aloneness and may continue to carry it with me on a daily basis. This is where my hopelessness lives and flourishes. Today I need to affirm that I am no longer a helpless and frightened child. I am an adult who has many choices. One of those choices is to reach out to others and tell them how I feel. I can help my child-within feel her feelings about having been left so alone and helpless, and use my adult-self to reassure her of protection. My child-within may have some difficulty believing in a Higher Power because she may not yet have experienced someone "coming through" for her/him. As I am able to be there for her/him and allow others to be there for her/him too, I nurture her inherent need to believe in a protective and loving spiritual being. Today I remember that I am not alone. |
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#7
Mar 24, 2013, 02:01 PM
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To affirm that I am perfect just as I am does not mean that I am flawless. It means that I am at a place of accepting myself right where I am. I am not expecting myself to be somewhere or someone else. I am exactly where I am suppose to be.
As I affirm this perfection, I am accepting all of me - my strengths, my weaknesses, my dreams, my secrets, and my past. I am all of these things and I am learning to love me. Today I accept my past and my present and cherish all the events that have made me me. Even the most negative experiences have given me gifts. My sexual abuse has given me the gifts of compassion, perseverance, courage, and wisdom. I am not saying that I am grateful for the abuse. I am saying that today I can recognize and cherish the parts of me that have kept me alive and given me a passion to live. Today I am perfect - because I am accepting me! |
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#8
Mar 24, 2013, 02:02 PM
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I learned through my abuse that dreams and wishes did not come true and that it was fruitless to bother thinking about them. I saw how my wishing did not stop the sexual abuse. Still, I escaped the reality of the abuse through dreams that never came true.
Today I can thank my child-within for her/his creativeness in dreaming to survive the abuse she/he suffered. Dreaming was her/his way of staying out of reality when life became too painful and terrifying. In recovery I am learning about my need and right to have dreams, whether they come true or not. My dreams and wishes sustain my need to look beyond my present-day existence and keep me growing along spiritual lines; for in dreams there is hope. If I can see each of my dreams as a gift from my Higher Power, I will be able to allow the out-come to be further lessons for me about my life and journey. Today I embrace my dreams, knowing that I deserve to have every one of them. |
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#9
Mar 24, 2013, 02:11 PM
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One of the qualities bestowed on me as a child was not one of gentleness. The sexual abuse certainly was not gentle to my body, spirit, emotions or intellect. Instead I received harshness, disrespect and sometimes brutality. It is not surprising that one of the most difficult things for me to give myself today is gentleness.
Whenever I am feeling critical of myself, I will stop and remember that this criticism emenates from the messages I received from my abusers. Today, instead of continuing to support this false legasy, I will begin to replace this critical thought with one I originally deserved to hear - one of gentleness and support of my precious being. This is how I can continue to hold the appropriate people accountable and begin to adopt a much deserved attitude of gentleness toward myself. Above all else, in my process of recovry from sexual abuse, I need to be most gentle with all parts of myself. I have too long borne the burden of someone else's disease and shame. Today I can be most gentle with myself by honoring and respecting my feelings and affirming the beautiful and unique pace of my own process. In times of great pain and fear, I will treat myself as I would a very young child - with understanding, patience, and gentleness. Just for today I will recognize and affirm one way that I have been gentle with my healing-self. The End. 
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 Anonymous37781
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#10
Mar 24, 2013, 05:36 PM
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WOW!!
 What Wonderful words. What a Wonderful Healing. You brought tears to my eyes! THANK YOU for posting all this. This is what being a Shaman is All About! 
Last edited by Thunder Bow; Mar 24, 2013 at 05:50 PM. |
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#11
Mar 24, 2013, 07:04 PM
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 Thanks!
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#12
Mar 24, 2013, 07:12 PM
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I'm crying too.That was beautiful Meisjes, thank you
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#13
Mar 24, 2013, 08:55 PM
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Yes, they are very powerful words for me too every time I read them. I hope they are healing for others as well. Its kind of like taking a long relaxing candlelit bubble bath with a warming glass of something bubbly and the most soothing music one can find.
take care.
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